An original article by Jean Pazin.:

Happy Happy Joy Joy.   ''Ren & Stimpy'' is resurrected. Creator John Kricfalusi will revive the pioneering animated gross-out show for TNN by Gary Susman.

LINES REDRAWN Ren and Stimpy will be back on TNN

Judging by what passes for prime-time entertainment on a typical episode of ''Fear Factor'' or ''Dog Eat Dog,'' the early-'90s gross-out cartoon series ''Ren & Stimpy'' was a decade ahead of its time. Now, according to the Hollywood Reporter, the show is coming back to TV with all new episodes written by John Kricfalusi, the animator who created the series only to be ousted from it after a dispute with kiddie channel Nickelodeon. The series will debut in the spring on TNN, as part of that network's new adult animation block.

Viacom, parent company of TNN, Nickelodeon, and MTV, wrested control of ''Ren & Stimpy'' from Kricfalusi during its second season on Nickelodeon in 1992. The show aired for three more seasons without him on Nickelodeon and MTV. In 1995, he filed a $100 million copyright infringement suit against the media giant, whose out-of-court settlement left Viacom owning the rights to the hot-tempered chihuahua Ren and naive cat Stimpy. But with TNN planning a block of adult-oriented toons for next spring -- including clothes-doffing superheroine ''Stripperella'' (voiced by Pamela Anderson) and lawyer-turned-rodent ''Gary the Rat'' (voiced by Kelsey Grammer) -- the network apparently felt ''Ren'' was a natural fit, and so was Kricfalusi.

The animator says he and most of his original writers and artists are returning. ''The whole gang is back. It's just like the old days -- only ruder!'' he tells the Reporter. He notes that the show can be more mature now, if that's the right way to describe a series involving snot and hairballs. ''It's going to evolve, and honestly, everybody can draw better now,'' Kricfalusi says.

The series will premiere next spring with all 52 original episodes, followed by six new ones. TNN may also commission a full-length ''Ren & Stimpy'' TV movie.

George Lucas, sometimes accused of reinforcing racial stereotypes with his movies, has done it again, according to critics.
   Latino critics in particular charge his latest Star Wars epic, Episode II: Attack of the Clones, toys with American paranoia about Mexican immigration with its cloned army of swarthy lookalikes who march in lockstep by the tens of thousands, and ultimately end up serving as Darth Vader's white-suited warriors.
   Modeled on bounty hunter Jango Fett, the clones, we're told, are genetically modified for docility and obedience. The breeding project, conducted by long-necked aliens who look like refugees from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, takes place on the planet Kamino -- soundalike for the Spanish word "camino," which means "road" or "I walk."
   Temuera Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is a New Zealander of Maori descent. But that didn't get in the way of some members of an eight-person Detroit Newspanel assembled to review the film.
   "He looked totally Latino," says Martina Guzman, a Detroiter who's managing a State House election campaign.
   "And his kid," says Wayne State history professor Jose Cuello, referring to the young Boba Fett, "looked even more Latino."
   It reminds Cuello a little bit of "those Reagan ads in the 1980 campaign, that suggested if Nicaragua went communist, you'd have wild-eyed Mexicans with guns running across the California border."
   A flabbergasted Lucasfilm spokeswoman, Jeanne Cole, says "This is the first we've heard of this. Star Wars," she says, "is a fantasy movie filled with creatures and aliens from all different planets and universes and galaxies. There is no basis for this."
   Lucas was in Cannes and could not be reached for comment.
   The celebrated mythmaker has been through what some might call the p.c. mill before.
   In 1999, a furor erupted over The Phantom Menace's Jar Jar Binks, a floppy-eared alien whom some read as a sort of Stepin Fetchit by way of the West Indies.
   "Everyone I've ever spoken to says there's a Rastafarian element to his speech, his walk, and in his 'dread' ears," says copy editor Robert del Valle, who was on The News panel with Guzman and Cuello.
   But such allegations were dismissed as "absurd" by Lucas in a Thursday interview published in the Washington Post. "People say, 'He sounds Caribbean.' Well, he doesn't. He's a complete invention. It's a different language. Just because he speaks with that accent doesn't mean it's a racial stereotype."
   The interview did not address the clone issue.
   A somewhat muted Jar Jar makes another appearance in Clones, but it is the dark-skinned Jango-copies that seem to have caught some audience members' attention this time around.
   Still, not everybody's buying it.
   Harry Knowles, on-line film reviewer and author of Ain't It Cool: Hollywood's Red-Headed Step-Child Speaks Out (Time Warner), says the whole Jango ethnic premise is "reading racism into something that's not there -- it's just in the minds of the viewers. It's like calling Jar Jar racist when all he is is Bullwinkle."
   The Jango dispute surfaced in internet chat rooms devoted to Star Wars days before the movie's release, says panelist Gary Anderson, the artistic director at Detroit's Plowshares Theatre and longtime Star Wars student and critic.
   If the planet name "Kamino" caught some Latinos' attention, three Arab-Americans on The News' panel seized on the fact that Jango's son calls him "Baba."
   "I frankly think the bounty hunter is Arab," says college counselor Imad Nouri of Royal Oak.
   "He's basically a terrorist," explains Nouri, "and 'baba' is Arabic for 'father.' "
   Such allegations have a long history in that galaxy far, far away. A number of observers noted that the 1977 original was, at least at the human level, an all-white party -- looking, in Anderson's words, "like the Ku Klux Klan's fantasy of the future."
   The only exception was Darth Vader's basso-profundo voice, supplied by African-American actor James Earl Jones.
   Which leads to all sorts of ironies, intentional or not: Darth Vader has a black man's voice when he's bad, but in Clones -- before Anakin Skywalker does the Darth-thing and defects to the Dark Side -- he's a white guy, played by Hayden Christensen.
   The big question lurking beneath all this ethnic deconstruction: Could any of this possibly be deliberate?
   For their part, The News'panelists were divided.
   "The plot is so superficial," says Cuello, "I don't think they could possibly have any deliberate intent about manipulating images."
   Like almost everybody who commented on Lucas, Anderson doubts there's anything malicious going on.
   "If your entire world perspective is based on 1950s TV and films, what do you expect?" he asks. "Garbage in and garbage out."
   For her part, Guzman was astonished that, given the Jar Jar flap, Lucas didn't scrutinize everything a little more critically this time around. "He's been criticized before," she says. "So he had a choice."
   It's not that she's opposed to Latin-looking baddies per se. She just wishes the occasional swarthy good guy would get as much on-screen time as the villain.
   "Jimmy Smits had all of two lines in the whole movie," Guzman says. "And Samuel Jackson had like five. Then there's the bad guy."
   For pop-culture professor Robert Thompson at Syracuse University -- who has yet to see Clones -- the issue boils down to whether Lucas really wanted to tweak Anglo fears.
   He's inclined to say no, attributing Lucas' occasionally confusing choices to "a certain degree of cluelessness. Look at Jar Jar Binks. The moment that guy comes on the screen, you wonder what in the world they were thinking. This isn't 1957. Didn't anybody say, 'Have you paid attention to what this guy is doing?' "
   The sad thing, he says, is that the Star Wars saga is also "about tolerance and dignity. But then you've got this 'camino' thing, which sounds a little creepy, and swarthy people who march in uncountable masses."
   Thompson calls the imagery in Star Wars a "great big Rorschach test, not just for the people who watch the movies, but for Lucas himself." With the latter, that leads him to two possibilities.
   "One is that this is coming out of the id of the creator without translation -- a West Coast fear of the Latino population in America." (Lucas grew in the 1950s in Modesto, Calif., the agricultural town immortalized in American Graffiti, and one visited annually by thousands of migrant workers.)
   The second hypothesis, he notes, is that it's all deliberate -- a way to prompt deep emotional response in audiences by probing "a phobia that's afoot in America. And that's the scarier interpretation."
   Or, as some argue, perhaps it's all stuff and nonsense.
   Knowles at aintitcool.com keeps emphasizing on the fact that Temeura Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is Maori.
   When asked how audiences are supposed to know that, he says, "How can you tell? You stay for the end credits. Is his name 'Raul Julia?' No."
   But even if Jango was meant to be taken as a Latino, others just don't see a problem.
   "At least we're in the picture," says Hollywood producer Michael Gonzalez with a laugh.
   "I mean, what did we have before -- Lt. Torres on Star Trek? It's just a movie," he says. "It's just fun. And you're going to hit a stereotype one way or another. At least we get some screen time."
   In any event, Guzman doubts most Hispanics will notice, if only "because they're so used to seeing images like that of themselves -- little dialogue, always being the bad guy. It's going to take the intellectual community to call Lucas on what he's doing."
   Latinos are now the nation's largest minority. But box-office analyst Adam Farasati -- who argues Hollywood rarely takes minority concerns into consideration -- doesn't see any collateral damage to the film's profits.
   "The only real issue is that Attack of the Clones is one of most anticipated movies of all time," he says from RealSource's Los Angeles office.
   "And beyond that, any type of media attention -- even negative -- really just creates more hype for a film that has hype coming out its ears."

Aaron - is a bit of a nugget. Too cocky and will be among the first six to go.

Mirabai - the artsy fartsy one. she'll last a while but her violin will start pissing everone off.

Nathan - what a faggot. And he's from Perth. He'll hang around for a while though. The new Sara-Marie?

Jessica - an "entertainer" who doesn't stop singing but can't sing for shit. She'll stay for a while, but won't make the cut. Her singing is pissing me off already.

Marty - the WA country boy. Definately a good bloke, and definately a top 3 finisher.

Sahra - Not too bad. She's not throwing the lesbian/bi-sexual stuff in every one's face, so she will be around for quite a bit and  people will want to see her pierce the house mates.

Peter - Bloody boring. One of the first to go.

Katrina - She is already bossing people around and is pissing me off. She'll go about half way.Second Eviction SUCK SHIT BITCH!!

Alex - Not too much on him yet, but it seems like he will be around for quite a while.

Turkan - Too old, too plain. One of the first two or three to go.

Damian - The chicks will dig him and the guys will think he is pretty cool (just as long as he doesn't wear those glasses too much). Top 3 finisher. First Eviction -  Damo was the first to go. Who would of thunk it? Not me, as i thought he would be there for ages. The people that vote for this show are bloody pin heads. Why take out someone that is giving us a torrid love affair and enjoys drinking six packs at 8 in the morning and keep in some old broad who doesn't want to be there and that stupid whiny, "oh woe is me" bitch, Katrina. Katrina will definately go next week, and if she doesn't, everyone who votes are shit heads!

Shannon - some say this years Shana, but she is definately not a moody bitch. She will get a bit annoying but will hang around to near the end.

The Intruders - who knows who will make it yet.

Rumours have begun to filter in to Greg's Goss about a major police operation and raid in the beachside suburb of Sorrento this morning.

According to an eyewitness account, the resident (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Luke Forrestal) of 19A Hawkins Ave was rudely awoken at approximately 7.30am by a cop banging down the door with his piece drawn. Fortunately Steve had packed away his bong the night before and not left it on the table cos this cop meant business.

After an unwarranted full cavity search, the cop asked me, er I mean the resident if a Greg Smith lived at the house. At this point he called out to the SWAT team hiding in the bushes that it was alright and they could  leave. My suspicions are that one of you jokers out there got busted for street drinking on Skyshow night and used my address with a false name.

Thanks for the early morning wake-up call, bastards.

After an interesting chain of events, it seems some of Perth's top Lawyers may be returning to primary school, or at least changing some law vocabulary to match that of what is found commonly in grade 3 playgrounds. Last Saturday night, Perth Lawyer to be Wayne "Section 26" Zappia, was quite excited when told he was to have a mattress to sleep on. Within the length of one sentence mopedman Zap was heard to quote this experience as:"..A mattress. Oh that is da bomb, that is so sick.". One wonders where Zap may have found such words as "the bomb" and "sick", however what further surprised cc.com journalists was when Jamariqui Groupie and fellow lawyer Nyssa Cherry, backed up Wayne's statements saying she used the word "the bomb" all the time.

This may mean that we are experiencing a period of change in the lawcourts. No longer will it be "objection your honour", expect now "Thats not the bomb, spunkrat", or to replace "guilty or not guilty" maybe a simple "sick, yea that's sick your honour". For a whole host of such mintox grammer from Perth's elite head down to your local Uni Law department and you can now catch up on what words that are currently "da bomb".

It turns out that perhaps Greg Ryan is not dead after all. The last sighting of Greg was taken at the Aussie premiere for Vanilla Sky, where he is seen trying to get as close as possible to his idol, Tom Cruise. What was not captured on film, but reported by many witnesses,  was Greg getting the crap kicked out of him by Tom's body guards while he was trying to give him a dozen roses.  The roses were apparently shoved in several places down Greg's clothing as he was being pummelled unmercifully by Tom's goons (hired goons) as he was screaming, "Stop pummelling me, it's really painful!". Greg was last seen crawling into a nearby gutter, and according to a recent rumour was then run over by a moped. Greg has not been since, so perhaps he is in fact dead. Of course, we here at cc.com will keep you all informed of all legitimate reports that come through.

In these times of sadness and darkness, while one of our key staff members is missing, presumed dead, we thought it might be nice to enlighten regular readers with stories of Greg.

According to wife Kate, Greg is not quite the man he claims to be. Yes, our friend Greg in fact is scared of the dark. Kate says that every night Greg insists on leaving the kitchen light on in case the "boogy man" comes. Let's just hope that while Greg is missing that he doesn't find himself trapped in a dark location. Perhaps the only time Greg truly feels comfortable with the dark is when he is with his lover Tom. In unrelated news rumours are still rife that Greg has in fact eloped with Mr. Cruise. CC.com will keep you informed as stories break...

It turns out that perhaps Greg Ryan is not dead after all. The last sighting of Greg was taken at the Aussie premiere for Vanilla Sky, where he is seen trying to get as close as possible to his idol, Tom Cruise. What was not captured on film, but reported by many witnesses,  was Greg getting the crap kicked out of him by Tom's body guards while he was trying to give him a dozen roses.  The roses were apparently shoved in several places down Greg's clothing as he was being pummelled unmercifully by Tom's goons (hired goons) as he was screaming, "Stop pummelling me, it's really painful!". Greg was last seen crawling into a nearby gutter, and according to a recent rumour was then run over by a moped. Greg has not been since, so perhaps he is in fact dead. Of course, we here at cc.com will keep you all informed of all legitimate reports that come through.

In these times of sadness and darkness, while one of our key staff members is missing, presumed dead, we thought it might be nice to enlighten regular readers with stories of Greg.

According to wife Kate, Greg is not quite the man he claims to be. Yes, our friend Greg in fact is scared of the dark. Kate says that every night Greg insists on leaving the kitchen light on in case the "boogy man" comes. Let's just hope that while Greg is missing that he doesn't find himself trapped in a dark location. Perhaps the only time Greg truly feels comfortable with the dark is when he is with his lover Tom. In unrelated news rumours are still rife that Greg has in fact eloped with Mr. Cruise. CC.com will keep you informed as stories break...

Greg Ryan. Have you seen him? That is the question on many a mind right now. After he was recently married, one would think that Mr Ryan would be having the time of his life right now, but is he? Mr Ryan was last seen at the end of his wedding and has not been seen by the general public since. Many wild rumours have been circulating of late, the most prominent one is that he has taken off on a sabatical in search of his hero, Tom Cruise (the staff at cc.com believe this one to be true). Another rumour circulating is that he is dead. That's right, dead. Do not fret though, loyal readers of Gregs Goss, this is not the first time GR has been reported dead. All that took part in the infamous Rotto attitude test of 97 would surely remember the question that fooled everyone, Where is Greg Ryan. The answer of course was that he was dead. Taking this into account, local authorities were quoted as saying "As of now, and until we get conclusive evidence that he is in fact missing, we could not give a stuff about looking for him. Right now we believe that is just a publicity stunt in order to drum up some interest for the waning popularity of Greg's Goss. It is well known that he just copies and pastes other people's articles and then claims them as his own. All we are doing right now is putting surveillance on sessions of Vanilla Sky, as it is well known that he has an unnatural infatuation on Tom Cruise." For evidence of Greg's love of Tom, click on this link- http://www.clintoncherry.com/article.cfm?id=282

If anyone has any knowledge of Greg's whereabouts, or just wants to make up some shit, send it in to cc.com, either below or on the boards.

Now we know that Tom Green and Drew Barrymore really were husband and wife: They're getting a divorce after less than six months of marriage.

The comedian filed a Superior Court divorce petition on Monday, saying irreconcilable differences was the reason for the split.

"Drew is a wonderful woman. I love her very much. I wish our marriage could have worked out. I wish her much happiness," Green said in a statement released by his publicist, Ann Gurrola.

Barrymore publicist Jennifer Allen said she was unaware of the divorce filing and she was unable to reach the actress. Drew had only one statement to make on the divorce "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!"

Green, 30, and Barrymore, 26, joked for months about whether they were married before tying the knot in July. At one point, they had promised to wed on television's Saturday Night Live.

In April, Green went on The Tonight Show and told Jay Leno that he and Barrymore were expecting a child, but later admitted he was playing a prank that he thought the audience was in on. The marriage was the first for Green, who starred in and directed the movie Freddy Got Fingered this year. It was the second for Barrymore, who most recently starred in Riding in Cars With Boys.

It turns out that Greg Ryan of Greg's Goss, is actually a secret admirer of Tom Cruise. After all his bashing of the actor (Greg is responsible for many rumours about Tom's sexuality), it seems that it was all done to hide the fact that Greg is actually Tom's biggest fan. The cc.com staff were all shocked and horrified to learn about this information, and at first did not even believe it, but after being given photographic evidence (view the photo closely) by an unnmaed source, who would only reveal himself as T Cruise, the truth has finally been revealed. This also raises many questions about Ryan. Can we now take the reports that he writes for GG as fact anymore? And also, who is T Cruise? Ryan would not respond to any questions that were yelled to him acrross the room from cc.com staffers.

In preperation for Tom's new movie, Vannilla Fudge, Greg has already begun sleeping out at teh local cinema, holding a sign that says: "I LOVE TOM'S ASS!". Tom Cruise had only this to say about the incident: "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!".

It turns out that Greg Ryan of Greg's Goss, is actually a secret admirer of Tom Cruise. After all his bashing of the actor (Greg is responsible for many rumours about Tom's sexuality), it seems that it was all done to hide the fact that Greg is actually Tom's biggest fan. The cc.com staff were all shocked and horrified to learn about this information, and at first did not even believe it, but after being given photographic evidence (view the photo closely) by an unnmaed source, who would only reveal himself as T Cruise, the truth has finally been revealed. This also raises many questions about Ryan. Can we now take the reports that he writes for GG as fact anymore? And also, who is T Cruise? Ryan would not respond to any questions that were yelled to him acrross the room from cc.com staffers.

In preperation for Tom's new movie, Vannilla Fudge, Greg has already begun sleeping out at teh local cinema, holding a sign that says: "I LOVE TOM'S ASS!". Tom Cruise had only this to say about the incident: "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!".

Perth's newest club "The Ruby Room" opens tonight at The Burswood Casino Complex. From what I have gathered Jimmy Barnes plays there tonight, and Madison Avenue will be playing both Friday and Saturday night there. Its also open Christmas day and other public holidays for all of you out there keen to go out on the days most other places are shut.

Going on openings of new clubs in Perth's history though, I'd say for about the first 3 months there'll be huge lines and stuff there, before petering off to nothingness as the fickle night club goers of Perth jump onto the new bandwagon clubs that come out... Yes I talk to you who went to Metro's city, then to Paramount, then to Rise, then... (yes it is even a struggle to remember these names) and soon The Ruby Room will join them I suspect (if it does in fact take off). Although it could work out ok if anything like the Crown Casino in Melbourne which offers a decent pub and club setup. Here's to wearing suites in night clubs....

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be back - again - for a third installment of one of Hollywood's most potent franchises, but even middle-aged Terminators don't come cheap, reports GG.

The 54-year-old Austrian-born action star has clinched a record $US30 million salary to return as a lead-slinging, leather-clad cyborg from the future in Terminator 3, said a source close to the production, and several major studios were locked in a high-stakes bidding war for domestic rights to the film.

A spokeswoman for Schwarzenegger said the star does not comment publicly on his deals, but when asked about the $US30 million figure, she said, "We're not going to deny it." "This is one of the most powerful franchises in movie history, so the budget and salaries are commensurate with the kind of franchise we're dealing with," said publicist Jill Eisenstadt.

While $US20 million has long been considered the benchmark for big-league star salaries, their pay often is hard to pinpoint because it increasingly involves "back-end" deals that give them a share of a film's box-office gross. But one source close to the production said the $US30 million figure was "pretty right on. ... That's what he's going to get up front, and he could potentially make a lot more."

One industry observer who asked not to be identified (Clinton Cherry) suggested that Schwarzenegger was in a unique position to command such a salary as an action star who is widely seen as nearing the end of his ability to convincingly play his trademark roles. "It's a role that can't be played by anybody else, and there isn't any other role that he can play," the source said. "This is more important for Arnold than it is for any of the buyers."

I just copied this, but this is awesome news for all Rage Against The Machine fans:

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE  Cornell Debut Soon!  12/07/01

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE will release their first studio album since singer Zack de la Rocha left the band on February 26th through Epic. A spokesperson for the band says a date has not been finalized and that the group are still in recording sessions. The new album marks the debut of Rage’s new singer, Chris Cornell (ex-SOUNDGARDEN). Cornell began jamming with Rage guitarist Tom Morello, bassist Tim Commerford and drummer Brad Wilk last February, and by late May the new lineup had written 20 songs and were heading into the studio with producer Rick Rubin. Describing the Cornell collaboration backstage at the 2001 Grammy Awards, Morello told Billboard, "We've been jamming with a lot of friends lately, and Chris is among them. The two days we jammed with him were downright groundbreaking. It was off the scale." He added that the foursome had written "two great songs," and that "we're just enjoying making music again. That's all we're concerned with right now."

Little did most people know, but loyal CC.com subscriber is actually a Hollywood player and has starred in several movies of late. His most famous role to date has of course been the feel good movie, October Sky, where he played a real dork who wants to fly rockets. He is apparently going into his bad boy faze now (as evidenced by picture below), but this does not seem to be slowing his career momentum down at all. Let's all boost odie's popularity by watching October Sky on Foxtel.

Tony "Plugger" Lockett has decided not to return to the sporting arena. He stated that he didn't wish to be viewed as a washed up sporting hero who un-retires after dominating their particular sport such as Salmon, Jordon, Jakovich, Magic and Ryan. "If I could return like ablett did then I would be there in a flash....but that guy is god and I'm just a fat ass who likes to race dogs" Lockett said.

It was the right decision Plugger - your a champion and will always be remembered as one!

Good news for all you North of the riverians is that the Big Day Out 2002 has finally moved from stinky Bassendean. While the regular bogan crowd of bassendean are highly dissappointed that they can't walk with the beam and coke in black jeans down to the big day out, the more prestigious Claremont folk are said to be happy at the new venue at Claremont Showgrounds. Hopefully this removes alot of the tossers, tools and swords that generally attend the crabby, middle of no-where venue that is bassendean, and attracts a better "normal" north of the river crowd at the popular showgrounds venue.

Still with the one-day cricket on the same day its gonna be a tough decision which way to go...

Bring on 2002.

On da weekend, one of cc.com's premia writers was fortunate enough to meet one of da world's massiv stars of da moment Ali G. In orda to promote section 26's debut gig, Ali G was enticed into comin along as a special guest. Along there to review da gig clinton decided to go and meet Ali G, star of da Ali G show, and was fortunate to get a photo wiv da star. Ali G imself was quite ova awed by da whole story and was chilled to meet da founda of is bestest site. Ali G did ask though if he could ave is own q&a section on da site so dat questions dig "what if i nobbed da daughta of a lord?" could be answered on line. Clintoncherry.com is yet to make any announcements of a new section but were chilled to ave dis article writtun by da geeza imself.

signin off Ali G.

The very hot Halle Berry, who is a hotty, is set to be the next Bond girl, provided she can fit it into her schedule. Due to shoot X-Men 2 soon, there is some doubt over whether there will be enough time to play both roles. Berry told GG that "I really want to be the next Bond chick. I realise that I am a real hotty and as a hotty, I should be the new hotty in the new Bond film. Bond films have a grand tradition of having great hotty's, which I am. A hotty". After providing the only entertaining scene in the very crappy Swordfish when she got her boobies out (very nice boobies), she is determined to cement her position in Hollywood as a hotty. So if the role happens, make sure you go and see it and not just because she is a hotty. Bond chicks have a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth after starring in a 007 film.

The very hot Halle Berry, who is a hotty, is set to be the next Bond girl, provided she can fit it into her schedule. Due to shoot X-Men 2 soon, there is some doubt over whether there will be enough time to play both roles. Berry told GG that "I really want to be the next Bond chick. I realise that I am a real hotty and as a hotty, I should be the new hotty in the new Bond film. Bond films have a grand tradition of having great hotty's, which I am. A hotty". After providing the only entertaining scene in the very crappy Swordfish when she got her boobies out (very nice boobies), she is determined to cement her position in Hollywood as a hotty. So if the role happens, make sure you go and see it and not just because she is a hotty. Bond chicks have a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth after starring in a 007 film.

Angel star David Boreanaz, 32, has married former Playboy pin-up-turned-TV star, Jamie Bergman, 29, reports GG.

Bergman, who plays the comely B.J. Cummings on producer Howard Stern's cable comedy Son of a Beach, exchanged vows with Boreanaz last Saturday at the Ingleside Inn in Palm Springs, California. The couple had planned to wed in mid-September, but postponed the ceremony in light of the Sept. 11 attacks, especially because Boreanaz's Philadelphia-based family would have had to have flown to California during that period.

It was also reported that the weekend ceremony was downscaled from original, more elaborate party plans. The couple became engaged on July 14, when Boreanaz proposed on a mountaintop as he and Bergman were hiking in the California desert.

This is the second marriage for the Buffalo, New York, native and the first for Bergman. Boreanaz and his first wife, Ingrid Quinn, a former social worker, split in 1999, after two years of marriage. They had no children. Bergman shot to fame when she was named Playboy's 45th Anniversary Playmate and has made brief appearances in about seven movies, including Any Given Sunday and Gone in 60 Seconds.

For all you computer nerds out there: As Xbox launched into stores in the US, Xbox launch details were today announced for Australia.

Xbox will be available at retail outlets in Australia from 14th March 2002 at an anticipated retail price of AUD$649 (incl GST). The majority of Xbox titles are expected to launch at an anticipated retail price of AUD$99.95 (incl GST).

Initial quantities for Xbox were also announced. A total of 100,000 Xbox video game systems are planned for shipment in Australia for its first three months on sale (to the end of June 2002). This includes weekly replenishments.

"On March 14th, the Xbox video game system will be available to Australian gamers which will change their perception of gaming forever," said Alan Bowman, Director, Xbox Australia. "The Xbox video game system out-performs the competition and will deliver some of the most powerful gaming experiences ever."

In a more serious GG today,  reports that Fred Durst visited the young girl who tragiclly died at the BDO earlier this year are not true. The police involved in the inquest have said that to their knowledge Durst did not visit the victim, even though he claims that he did. Fred Durst is a total assface! To anyone who thinks this guy is cool is an assface! This guy is no better than Britney Spears, he is just a publicity machine who wants to make money but hides it behind his "tough guy" image and his tattoos. At least Britney knows that she is making cheesy pop, this  dick thinks he makes credible music. The only difference is that Brit's market are younger girls and his are impressionable young middle class white punks who yearn to be tough. Fred Durst, you suck you rat faced, lying sack of shit.

UPDATE: The following came from www.news.com.au and further shows what a rat face this guy is. Fred Durst is a fag!!

Singer's statement about death "half-baked"
From AAP
20nov01

A STATEMENT from US band Limp Bizkit gave only a half-baked account of events surrounding the death of a teenager during a concert in Sydney on Australia Day this year, an inquest has been told.

Westmead Coroners Court is examining the death of 15-year-old Jessica Michalik who died five days after being caught in a crowd crush at the Big Day Out concert on January 26 this year.

Coroner Jacqueline Milledge today said she was surprised that Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst had not been more forthcoming in giving evidence.

"Given his position on the stage and knowing what was going on and being given directions it would be important for us to get a fuller account from him," the coroner said.

The court heard that two investigators travelled to the United States to speak with Durst and his band.

However they only managed to obtain a question and answer-style statement signed by the band's lawyer.

Counsel for the Michalik family told the court the statement contained "half baked statements" which raised more questions than they answered.

The hearing continues.

THE crowd collapse that killed a teenage girl at an outdoor concert was partly caused by the failure of US band Limp Bizkit to stop playing when requested, a crowd safety expert has said.

Michael Upton told the inquest yesterday into the death of 16-year-old Jessica Michalik at Sydney's Big Day Out concert on January 26 this year that the security team had repeatedly asked headline act Limp Bizkit to stop performing.

"In my opinion the failure by Limp Bizkit to stop their performance was a contributing factor to the time taken to remove persons from the audience," he said.

Mr Upton said people caught underneath a crowd collapse could die within seconds.

"If you were a victim of a vertical load . . . you really have got very little chance, particularly in an environment where it's very dark and very noisy," he said.

"If you don't get help, you're talking seconds."

Other factors leading to the crowd collapse included the extreme crowd behaviour in response to the band, increased crowd density at the front of the stage and the hot weather, which caused dehydration.

Mr Upton said Limp Bizkit lead singer Fred Durst had provoked the security team "to the limit".

He said Durst's com ments to the audience that "these guys won't help you, look after yourselves" were unhelpful and grossly unfair.

Mr Upton said security staff extracted Ms Michalek from the mosh pit as quickly as possible and had prevented further casualties.

In his opinion, Limp Bizkit had "absolute" influence over the crowd.

He said crowd surges such as the one which triggered the Big Day Out collapse were like ripples on a pond: "Once it starts it goes forward everyone becomes a victim."

Mr Upton said he had once seen a man cause a crowd surge by scratching his nose.

"Three people pushing can generate a pressure load of 360 pounds (164kg)," he said.

Additional barricades requested by the band before the concert would not have prevented the tragedy, Mr Upton said.

Lawyers representing the band's interests plan to call another crowd safety expert to contradict Mr Upton's evidence.

The inquest continues.

ONCE AGAIN, FRED DURST IS A WANKER!!

NEWER UPDATE:

Why is it that a guy who makes millions of dollars a month to play basketball, is 8 feet tall and has two championship rings can be a total and utter dickhead. This guy has no idea about being cool and whilst the golf hat he normally wears is enough to question his mental state this new hat rasies many more questions.

Earlier this year Shaq was forced to apologise to Cindy crawford, Venus willians and Aaliyah after claiming to have had sex with each of them -something the three ladies hotly denied "Why would we sleep with that golf hat wearing uncool fat ass motherfarker!". "I am sorry, Venus. I am sorry, Cindy Crawford. I am sorry, Aaliyah. Those that know me, my good friends, know I'm a comedian, and if I hurt your feelings, I apologize. If I could do anything to make it better, I would. I apologize. I'm sorry." shaq said. 

Even his own teammates dont like him - Kobe is reported to say "I hate the bitch" and Phil Jackson (Laker coach) said "what he lacks in brain he makes up in fat!".

Shaq is a loser and a very big cockhead!

Madonna's husband, British film director Guy "madonnas husband til i put her in a film" Ritchie, says he hates it when his wife wears revealing see-through T-shirts, reports GG.

"He doesn't want anyone to see my raspberries," the American superstar told GG in a rare interview on Thursday. In response to the question "why are you a stinky ho?" her comment was "Ive slept with half of the free world, I'm a pretend actress, I mime, I'm a skank and I'm butt ugly...maybe thats got something to do with it".

Madonna said Guy "i couldnt score a real chick so I got the biggest slut" Ricthie tells her to cover up and she obeys "unless I'm crunched for time." But surely one of the world's most famous pop stars and fashion icons can dress how she likes? "Sometimes I do. I have to pick and choose my battles. He doesn't want me to dress like an old slapper! Those are his words," the 43-year-old Madonna said.

Clothes or no clothes you will always be an old slapper.

Comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield suffered a heart attack last week on his 80th birthday and is currently recovering in intensive care. After further tests, doctors will determine what sort of treatment he will require, but his wife believes that he will be home by mid week. Dangerfield has been a veteran  stand up comic for years but is perhaps best known for his work in movies. Among his credits are Easy Money, Back to School (see this movie if you havn't already, a very under appreciated 80's classic) and of course, Caddyshack, where he had a standout role along side such legends as Chevy Chase and Bill Murray. He also played against type as an abusive father in Natural Born Killers, which garnered him great critical praise. He is also the animated version of Mr Burns' son on the Simpsons. All the best to Rodney for a speedy recovery.

Soccer is a shit sport played by poofs, watched by thugs and run by old men!
It is a sport that the best team never wins, people get killed and uncoordinated countries like England and France dominate. Whilst the sport has been played for about a million years the normal score is nil-nil (i'm told by howard and andre that this is good result!) - technology hasnt helped either and players are demanding more and more money even though they cant score goals.

In some great wisdom from the soccer head -fifa- the world cup teams are decided upon through multiple (or in australias case.. one) best of two series (yes! BEST OF TWO!!) what friggen moron comes up with a series that is the best of two? It turns out that a 1-0 victory in the drizzle and rain (Aust V Urgay) is not as good as a 3-0 vicotry in the sunshine and perfect conditions (Urgay V Aust) - Well i say fark that! Its one all you poofter soccer fags and its time to play a real game without the pads and poofy round ball!

Soccer is dead in australia and thats just the way we like it! We are australians and we love cricket and aussie rules and all you wogs can piss off home! (except for the greeks cause you rock!)