I know Clint has already done a Spider-Man review, but I thought I would chip in with one as well, especially since I have a varied opinion on the film. As someone who has read hundreds of Spidey stories through the years and has too much knowledge of this character, it was obviously with great expectation (and trepidation) that I went to see this film. It is obviously hard to tie up years of character development from the comics into two hours, but for the most part Director Sam Raimi (who made the kick ass Evil Dead movies and the superhero type film, Dark Man) has managed to bring Peter Parker to life in a faithful way. But that is where the good points of this film almost end.

 

Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire) is the class nerd, someone nobody likes (except for outcast, Harry Osborn) and who gets picked on constantly. His transformation to Spider-Man occurs when he is bitten by a genetically altered spider, which gives him the ability to transform into a human spider. We witness him go through changes (with lots of puberty parallels) as he comes to grips with his new found powers. The true transformation is after the death of his Uncle Ben, something he is indirectly responsible for, which makes him realise “that with great power, comes great responsibility”. Along the way, he see a blossoming relationship with the girl of his dreams, Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) as well as the introduction of the not so terrifying Green Goblin, whose origin we also discover as Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe) descends into craziness. Of course Spider-Man saves the day and we see how Peter must cope with being the unappreciated hero.

 

The telling of Peter’s transformation is handled perfectly. Not only is it extremely faithful to the comic books, but it is also shown extremely well within the film. Tobey Maguire was perfectly cast as Peter and he plays the role to perfection, and shows all the sides of the character. Not only does he play the nerdy side extremely well, but the exuberance that the character shows when discovering his new abilities is also fantastic. We see an actor here who truly fits the part of the character and not some typical hunky guy who would have been totally unrealistic in this role (read: Freddie “I am a fag who only acts in gay teenage romance movies so little girls can dig on me” Prinze Jr, who actually campaigned for the role and, thank the holy lord, did not get it). Unfortunately, this is the only great character in the film.

 

A big disappointment in the film is the Mary Jane character. She just turns out to be the typical damsel in distress, when in fact she could (and should) have been so much more. The relationship  between her and Peter is actually handled very well, it grows throughout the film and the outcome of her feelings for Peter are not contrived but quite real. One big complaint though, Mary Jane is a bit of a slut. Going after four different guys is a bit much. A huge disappointment though is the Green Goblin. At first we see the seeds of Osborn going totally insane, but as soon as the crappy Goblin costume comes on, he just becomes the typical over the top super villain. He would have been much better served as being a truly terrifying, evil character, but instead we can get an idiot who flies around and laughs like a total assface all the time. J Jonah Jameson, the editor of the Daily Bugle, who takes an immediate disliking to Spider-Man is played extremely over the top (by J K Simmons), is definitely a highlight.

 

Now come the criticisms of the film in terms of it’s shortcomings with bringing the comic book to life. Most won’t care about these as they are quite useless if you are not familiar with spider-Man. First off, although it makes sense (after you have accepted the fact that someone can get the powers of a spider), it totally blows that Peter has the ability to shoot webbing directly from his body and does not use the self made webbing from the comic books. I know this is a small complaint, but I don’t like it. It sucks. Also, Mary Jane coming from a broken home is not only different from the comic books but totally irrelevant to the story and character. What was the point, it was not elaborated on nor did it add more to the character. Mary Jane is supposed to be a feisty, independent chick yet in the film she is constantly in need of male companionship. The Goblin character and his suit just plain sucked. Finally, the word “sheesh” could have been used at least once!!

 

Overall, Spider-Man is a great, fun film but something about it just leaves me with an empty feeling. The strong point, and the thing that they needed to achieve the most, was the Peter Parker character. They really needed to make the film about him, not Spider-Man, and they succeeded. When you see Spidey slinging from the rooftops, you are thinking that that is Peter Parker, not some under developed character in tights.

For those of you who are not familiar with Blade well basically he is a super hero who hunts vampires much in the way Buffy does (but without the crappy soapie overtures). Part two of the movie series sees Blade (Wesley Snipes) up against a newer form of Vampire (who is basically a genetic improvement of the Vampire) which is feeding off Vampires as well as humans. Threatened, the vampires now seek Blades help with destroying the villian which threatens them as well, throwing Blade into a situation where he is almost trusting the enemy.

The movie has all the thrills, action and general vampire slashing fun you would expect from a comic book come movie flick. I found this movie more enjoyable then the first with much better effects and some great kick-butt action scenes, which keep the movie fast paced right to the thrilling final action bout. The female vampire thrown in for sexiness is named Nyssa (I thought you'd like that Nys, although I can't see you enjoying the movie!) and adds a little interest to Blades often boring and shallow character as he develops a little interest in a Vampire.

If you don't want a film with an overly involved script or strong character development, but just want some plain and simple fun then this is definitely the movie for you. Its alot better than alot of vampire flicks that are out there, and the comic adaption I believe is done 'bloody' (sorry silly pun!) well, with a lot of the angles and camera shots done feeling like it is almost like a comic (in some ways also reminded me of flicks like the Matrix). If you liked the first then catch Blade 2 for sure (it sure doesn't suck - sorry had to throw another pun in).

Foot note:// Oh yeah and because this was my first yanky movie I thought I'd show you a picture of the cinema I watched it in here rather than a silly Blade picture. Note the way it looks like a bingo hall, yet the THX Digital sound still ripped through the cinema and the quite uncomfortable seats...

From the TV adverts and such that have been thrashed recently on the box one would expect Super Troopers to be just a real "stupid" comedy in the same sort of make as a Corky Romano or pretty much any of the recent crappy comedys. But been "stoopid" myself I thought I'd go check out this comedy anyway cause I like stoopid stuff. Well was I pleasantly surprised - this movie really is funny.

Before the movie even started I was laughing as our fully packed cinema meant some late bogans were forced to sit in front of us, and promptly brought out hip flasks to fill up their cokes... well done boys nothing like getting smashed on a Tuesday night at the movies... Anyway the opening ten minutes really get you laughing and are a brilliant start to the movie which follows the state troopers: Farva, Foster, Mac, Rabbit and Thorny as they go about their job as road police in their own unique silly way - almost like taking Seldon, Harvey and Pullella and putting them in cop uniforms (for you guys who don't know who they are just think of any frat boys that you went to high school with and whack them on state patrol). Of course as it happens their division is supposed to be getting shut down so these boys need to prove to the Mayor (Wonder Woman) how they are a necesity and should not be closed down.

The gags run continually through out the movie, and there are alot more than just the ones you would have laughed at on the trailers and teasers. The characters all work well together, they all pretty much have kick ass moustaches, and from what I believe this is a movie by a bunch of comedians who have basically formed a whole host of gags and skits into a full length movie - but it does work well. Definitely go check this movie out if you are keen for a good laugh.

There's not a whole lot to say about 'Behind Enemy Lines'. Even before it was released several months ago, it was clear to me that this would just be another mindless action movie with very little plot and more bullets fired than words spoken. The basic plot of this film--which is very basic, mind you--does little to advance the plot, and the filmmakers rely on action to keep your attention. Basically a hotshot fighter pilot (Owen Wilson) is shot down in Serbia taking photos of something he shouldn't (oh yeah and its Christmas - another original idea) and so all these Afganistan type terroists hunt and chase him to get their film back -- fantasticly original plot!! However, only an hour into the movie I was already beginning to grow bored. You can only watch one man running away from another for so long until your mind starts to wander.

The biggest problem with this movie, I felt, was the lack of originality. We've seen all this before in other movies, and it reminded me more of a 'The Rock' meets 'Enemy at the Gates' meets 'Enemy of the State' mixture. This would all be great, yes, considering these are three pretty good films, but I saw little new work that made me say, "Wow, I've never seen that before." Throw that in with shotty dialogue and cameras that just don't want to keep still and you've pretty much got a clear picture of 'Behind Enemy Lines".

It's another great film to boost American patriotism, but doesn't hold a candle--or flair in this case--to half of the other good action DVD's and movies out there (try any Bruckhiemer - he is the king). Basically boring action flick, that unless your hard pressed for movies, or wanting to view an action film real badly should probably be avoided.

I really enjoyed the trailers for "Corky Romano." and having been a fan of Chris Kattan was looking forward to a funny "Saturday Night Live" comedy come stupid movie. As is the case though with a lot of comedies you will get most of the laughs this film offers by watching the trailers and visiting the web site. "Corky Romano" really is not very funny. It does offer a few big funny moments, but it doesn't deliver the laughs it leads us to expect.

Corky Romano is an original character, not another Saturday Night Live blowup. He is portrayed by SNL veteran Chris Kattan, who tackles the role with enthusiasm, energy, and zest. He's the kind of character you will either love or hate. I loved him. He is spastic, clumsy, wacky, and full of sunshine and life. He is a vet and is surprised when his family asks for his assistance. His father (Peter Falk), an underground crimelord, has been indicted by a grand jury. With the trial just weeks away, the aging criminal needs someone to investigate the FBI and destroy the evidence against him. The authorities would recognize his two sons (Peter Berg and Chris Penn), thus all the fingers point to Corky who goes under cover as a FBI agent.

If you dig stupid humour then maybe give this movie a watch, I can't lie I did laugh several times during the movie, but at the same time the best bits were in the trailers. In the end though, the movie only delivered what I deep down expected, a budget, Saturday Night Live comedy appealing to the stupid humour that appeals to idiots such as myself.

The One is a Matrix like action flick pitting action star Jet Li against his greatest enemy: Jet Li... Basically the movie revolves around the idea that there are multi universe's through out the galaxy with every person having a variant of themself in another galaxy (or 23). Jet Li has managed to be able to "jump" between the different galaxies and one by one has killed his replica in each universe, until there is only him and the earth Jet Li left. Why would someone bother killing them selves this many times? Well according to director James Wong every time you eliminate another version of yourself, then the strength of that person is divided amongst the remaining Jet Li's in this case. And so the movie goes that Jet Li wants to be the "one", the last remaining, all powerful Jet Li.

With the super powers accumulated the movie gives it's fair share of Matrix like effects, which while good a few years ago, are a bit "done" now. Perhaps what I most enjoyed most was the thrill of watching Jet Li fight himself, which was quite spectacular. However, all been said I am surprised Jet Li turned down a roll in both Matrix 2 and 3 to go in this movie, because this movie does not even stand close to the likes of the Matrix. At the same time I am glad the Rock turned down the roll cause I can see the movie could have been worse.

All in all, not a bad film but not a great film. If you enjoy an action flick or Jean Claude Van Damme movies then this is for you. But don't be overly concerned if you miss this to catch one of the better films out at the moment like Oceans Eleven.

The Coen Brothers bring their latest film to the big screen and as always it is totally different from mainstream cinema. The film follows the simply named Ed Crane (Billy Bob Thornton) who discovers his wife (Frances MacDormand) is having an affair with her boss Big Dave (James Gandolfini). Ed then sets out to frame Big Dave (who is married to the heir of a local department store) for $10 000, so he can then jump in on a revolutionary idea of dry cleaning (the film is set in 1949). What starts out as an interesting story soon just jumps all over the place with Ed and the other characters getting into more and more trouble due to the fault of others, which are all the result of the initial scam from Ed. The title of the film is very appropriate to Ed's character, as he is very much the fella who just hangs at the back and is not very noticed (much like this humble reviewer, unless drunk), and is played to perfection by Billy Bob. Speaking of which, all the actors in this film pull off their roles in a convincing manner and are a highlight of the film.

Filmed in black and white, the film carries the persona of old film noir and looks breathtaking throughout, but unfortunately this is really the film's only other major strong point. The film seems to drag on going from the next twist to another, but does not not do it well enough to make the story interesting to engage the viewer throughout. While the look, feel and the characters are interesting, the story just does not provide the boost the film needs and in the end it is really "The Movie That Wasn't There".

Jeepers Creepers brings a welcome breeze of fresh air into the horror genre, and to any genre where the viewer is looking for a smart, entertaining and truly spine tingling experience. Starting with what is one of the most original ideas to start off a horror film (I won't spoil it for you, oh faithful reader), the film carries itself tremendously throughout and unlike other recent crappy horror entries has what can be only described as both a brilliant and totally thought provoking ending, one that will leave you sleeping with the lights on (Greg) and praying for a sequel as soon as humanly possible. Other pathetic film makers should really take a look at this film in order to really know how to construct a truly engaging story line as well as characters that as soon as you meet them, you feel for them, care for them and feel that you know them intimately. The villian of the film is done to perfection in a way that has you wishing to know more and truly scares the crap out of you. Jeepers Creepers, once again, is truly a great film. By the way, I am being sarcastic. This movie was amongst the biggest loads of shit I have EVER seen. And I have seen a lot of shit. Apart from the "don't go down there" at the start, this movie doesn't even have the decency to follow the same old cliched bullshit of slasher flicks, it has to create it's own crap. Throughout I was at least hoping it would fall into the "it's so bad, it's good" category, but it doesn't. The film is about this demon dude who scares you and then eats bits of you to live. Yeah, awesome man. He is a scary looking demon who can fly, but instead he decides to wear a coat and drive a truck. What an asshole. In the end, one of the main characters has their eyes eaten out. Yes, I have told the ending to this wonderful, wonderful movie. Suck shit. If you go and see this movie after reading this, you are a dickhead (thank god I get free tickets). Don't even watch this movie if you catch it on TV at three in the morning when you are really pissed, it will just send you into an alcohol fueled rage.

The prospect of re-teaming the star and director of the great film, Out Of Sight was definately an interesting one and with Ocean's Eleven, George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh have produced a fun, exciting movie and when you throw in Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon and the world's greatest actor right now, Don Cheadle,  you would be hard pressed not to please almost everyone. Also, for all Elliot Gould fans, unite and enjoy his fat hairy gut. Oceans Eleven, like the original it was based on, seems like just an excuse to put together an all star cast and let them carry the film. Which is exactly what they do, and very well. The plot to this film could have easily have been used for a Jerry Bruckheimer vehicle (just imagine Nic Cage, Ben Affleck etc instead), but of course, the movie would have just plain sucked. The premise behind the movie is really that simple, it's a heist movie, and has been seen countless times and Oceans Eleven offers nothing new in that regard. Soderbergh of course brings a nice visual touch to this film, which at times feels a little out of place in such a simple movie that is carried by it's stars.

The story is simple, Clooney gets out of jail and gets together a group of eleven guys in order to rob a bunch of casinos by one bad dude (played by Andy Garcia) who is also going out with Clooneys ex wife, whom he wants back. That's it. Nothing new. Even the characters are really nothing new, all are the usual rag tag bunch you would expect in a movie like this. This must have really been a secret Bruckheimer production. When combining such a great cast with a great director, you look for reasons why this is a brilliant film, but you don't find them. It is obvious here, that these people just wanted to work together, have a good time and put something that is fun on the screen, which is what they have achieved. There is nothing ground breaking here, just good fun. Oh yeah, the chinese acrobatic freakish midget who can't speak English kicks ass.

The prospect of re-teaming the star and director of the great film, Out Of Sight was definately an interesting one and with Ocean's Eleven, George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh have produced a fun, exciting movie and when you throw in Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon and the world's greatest actor right now, Don Cheadle,  you would be hard pressed not to please almost everyone. Also, for all Elliot Gould fans, unite and enjoy his fat hairy gut. Oceans Eleven, like the original it was based on, seems like just an excuse to put together an all star cast and let them carry the film. Which is exactly what they do, and very well. The plot to this film could have easily have been used for a Jerry Bruckheimer vehicle (just imagine Nic Cage, Ben Affleck etc instead), but of course, the movie would have just plain sucked. The premise behind the movie is really that simple, it's a heist movie, and has been seen countless times and Oceans Eleven offers nothing new in that regard. Soderbergh of course brings a nice visual touch to this film, which at times feels a little out of place in such a simple movie that is carried by it's stars.

The story is simple, Clooney gets out of jail and gets together a group of eleven guys in order to rob a bunch of casinos by one bad dude (played by Andy Garcia) who is also going out with Clooneys ex wife, whom he wants back. That's it. Nothing new. Even the characters are really nothing new, all are the usual rag tag bunch you would expect in a movie like this. This must have really been a secret Bruckheimer production. When combining such a great cast with a great director, you look for reasons why this is a brilliant film, but you don't find them. It is obvious here, that these people just wanted to work together, have a good time and put something that is fun on the screen, which is what they have achieved. There is nothing ground breaking here, just good fun. Oh yeah, the chinese acrobatic freakish midget who can't speak English kicks ass.

Greg Ryan called him the greatest actor of our time. Greg Ryan claimed that every movie he starred in would turn to gold. Greg Ryan even claimed his girlfriend Penelope Cruz was the Star on the Christmas Tree that is Tom Cruise. The shining angel that truly made them the ultimate couple and the ultimate actors. He ultimately suggested that Vanilla Sky was to be "the Greatest Love story ever made". Unfortunately what Greg says isn't always true.

Call this movie by any other name. Vanilla Crap. Vanilla Shite. Vanilla Spew. Call it what you will, but this still won't help with the suffering I went through for two and half hours last night while I endured perhaps one of the worst movies to hit the cinemas in the past five years.

I will not grace you with the story line cause it was stupid. It was dumb. It was pathetic. The so called "twist" at the end only further twisted the pain in my stomach from sitting in the cinema. The more the movie went on the deeper the crap hole this movie dug itself into.

Here is my first warning for 2002. Do NOT see Vanilla Sky. Don't even contemplate it. Greg may talk up how great Cruise and Cruz are. He may even talk up how good this movie is. But be strong. Ignore him. This movie is definitely a Vanilla Lemon.

Greg Ryan called him the greatest actor of our time. Greg Ryan claimed that every movie he starred in would turn to gold. Greg Ryan even claimed his girlfriend Penelope Cruz was the Star on the Christmas Tree that is Tom Cruise. The shining angel that truly made them the ultimate couple and the ultimate actors. He ultimately suggested that Vanilla Sky was to be "the Greatest Love story ever made". Unfortunately what Greg says isn't always true.

Call this movie by any other name. Vanilla Crap. Vanilla Shite. Vanilla Spew. Call it what you will, but this still won't help with the suffering I went through for two and half hours last night while I endured perhaps one of the worst movies to hit the cinemas in the past five years.

I will not grace you with the story line cause it was stupid. It was dumb. It was pathetic. The so called "twist" at the end only further twisted the pain in my stomach from sitting in the cinema. The more the movie went on the deeper the crap hole this movie dug itself into.

Here is my first warning for 2002. Do NOT see Vanilla Sky. Don't even contemplate it. Greg may talk up how great Cruise and Cruz are. He may even talk up how good this movie is. But be strong. Ignore him. This movie is definitely a Vanilla Lemon.

The first installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy finally hits the big screen and it certainly does not disappoint. Based of course on what are perhaps the most famous books of all time (except for the bible and the Sara Marie Guide to Life), this film (and the next two that follow in the next two years) were undertaking a major risk in trying to transport the world of middle earth to the big screen. Anyone who has read anything by JRR Tolkien would know that his writing is beyond descriptive and to undertake a translation of it to film would have been no easy task, but director Peter Jackson has managed to do so without leaving out major details from the book.

The story follows the quest of nine who must go on a perilous journey in order to destroy a ring that the evil Sauron needs to reclaim his power and take over the world. Frodo Baggins is our hero of the story, who is the typical archetype, who must realise his potential in order to succeed on his journey. In terms of big fantasy films we have seen it all before, at it's heart Lord of the Rings is the same tale as Star Wars or even the Matrix. This movies strength really lies in it's great imagination that is extremely realistic as we get to see an entire fantasy world come to life with wizards, orcs and other creatures that are part of the story. The actors too, portray their roles with vigour and nothing is tongue in cheek.

It is easy to compare this movie to Star Wars, and come away saying this is a way better film. Most people will see this film and wonder why the last Star Wars film wasn't this good (I'm not one of them though) as instead of poop jokes and trying at times to pander to a younger audience it tells it's tale from a more adult perspective, but one that can be enjoyed by any age. Overall, Fellowship of the Ring really is as good as advertised and definately a must see. It truly shows that Hollywood (yes Hollywood, this is not a NZ film like those sheep rooters are claiming) can make great, involving films with huge budgets when the right talent is involved. Perhaps this is a wake up call to them that people will accept something original and unique that requires an attention span, although one has to begin dreading the flood of crappy fantasy films that are surely to follow. 

Shallow Hal is the latest film from the Farrelly Brothers and just like their last film, Me, Myself and Irene, shows that it is always hard for film makers to better their best efforts. As with most of their films, Shallow Hal revolves around a romance or some kind of bizarre attraction, in this case the main character (due to a pep talk from confidence guru Tony Robbins) Hal is in love with a gigantic woman (played by Gweneth Patrow). Hal is only able to see one's inner beauty, so every ugly chick is suddenly a babe, and occasionally vice versa with mean good looking ones. Along the way we are treated to the crude and rude humour that we have come to expect from the Farrelly's films with Jason Alexander (George from Seinfeld) providing several funny lines (particuarly for people who enjoy jokes about crap and ugly chicks).

Hal, played by Jack Black (who stole the show in High Fidelity) is in actuality an extremely good bloke, except for the fact that he will only go after the hotties (due to his dying fathers last words about getting good puntang). As the main character though, the niceness is really a major flaw, as the character is quite boring, as is the case in their other films (the nice Jim Carrey in Irene and Ben Stiller in Something about Mary), which is a shame, because Black is really not allowed to shine in what could have been a break out role as a leading man. Paltrow really does not do too much either except be the catalyst for a lot of fat jokes and shows little comedic flair. As usual, it is the misfits, outcasts, dickheads and physically challenged that are the memorable characters in a Farrelly Brothers film, and Shallow Hal of course does not disappoint in that regard.

Shallow Hal is bar no means a great film but is definately one of the better comedies of the last year to come out. Where it fails though is with it's predictability and the fact that it's message that we should look for inner beauty is contradicted by the many fat jokes that are needed to carry the film.

The first installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy finally hits the big screen and it certainly does not disappoint. Based of course on what are perhaps the most famous books of all time (except for the bible and the Sara Marie Guide to Life), this film (and the next two that follow in the next two years) were undertaking a major risk in trying to transport the world of middle earth to the big screen. Anyone who has read anything by JRR Tolkien would know that his writing is beyond descriptive and to undertake a translation of it to film would have been no easy task, but director Peter Jackson has managed to do so without leaving out major details from the book.

The story follows the quest of nine who must go on a perilous journey in order to destroy a ring that the evil Sauron needs to reclaim his power and take over the world. Frodo Baggins is our hero of the story, who is the typical archetype, who must realise his potential in order to succeed on his journey. In terms of big fantasy films we have seen it all before, at it's heart Lord of the Rings is the same tale as Star Wars or even the Matrix. This movies strength really lies in it's great imagination that is extremely realistic as we get to see an entire fantasy world come to life with wizards, orcs and other creatures that are part of the story. The actors too, portray their roles with vigour and nothing is tongue in cheek.

It is easy to compare this movie to Star Wars, and come away saying this is a way better film. Most people will see this film and wonder why the last Star Wars film wasn't this good (I'm not one of them though) as instead of poop jokes and trying at times to pander to a younger audience it tells it's tale from a more adult perspective, but one that can be enjoyed by any age. Overall, Fellowship of the Ring really is as good as advertised and definately a must see. It truly shows that Hollywood (yes Hollywood, this is not a NZ film like those sheep rooters are claiming) can make great, involving films with huge budgets when the right talent is involved. Perhaps this is a wake up call to them that people will accept something original and unique that requires an attention span, although one has to begin dreading the flood of crappy fantasy films that are surely to follow. 

Shallow Hal is the latest film from the Farrelly Brothers and just like their last film, Me, Myself and Irene, shows that it is always hard for film makers to better their best efforts. As with most of their films, Shallow Hal revolves around a romance or some kind of bizarre attraction, in this case the main character (due to a pep talk from confidence guru Tony Robbins) Hal is in love with a gigantic woman (played by Gweneth Patrow). Hal is only able to see one's inner beauty, so every ugly chick is suddenly a babe, and occasionally vice versa with mean good looking ones. Along the way we are treated to the crude and rude humour that we have come to expect from the Farrelly's films with Jason Alexander (George from Seinfeld) providing several funny lines (particuarly for people who enjoy jokes about crap and ugly chicks).

Hal, played by Jack Black (who stole the show in High Fidelity) is in actuality an extremely good bloke, except for the fact that he will only go after the hotties (due to his dying fathers last words about getting good puntang). As the main character though, the niceness is really a major flaw, as the character is quite boring, as is the case in their other films (the nice Jim Carrey in Irene and Ben Stiller in Something about Mary), which is a shame, because Black is really not allowed to shine in what could have been a break out role as a leading man. Paltrow really does not do too much either except be the catalyst for a lot of fat jokes and shows little comedic flair. As usual, it is the misfits, outcasts, dickheads and physically challenged that are the memorable characters in a Farrelly Brothers film, and Shallow Hal of course does not disappoint in that regard.

Shallow Hal is bar no means a great film but is definately one of the better comedies of the last year to come out. Where it fails though is with it's predictability and the fact that it's message that we should look for inner beauty is contradicted by the many fat jokes that are needed to carry the film.

Evil Woman, aka Saving Silverman, was written off as a crap movie, hence the name change and about a 1 year delay of the movie reaching Australian shores. However after having been persuaded by Jean to go see it (who was told to go by Jeremy) I was pleasantly surprised to find myself laughing through the entire movie. I found it particularly stupid, but having a stupid sense of humour, this was right on the money for me. Especially because I was expecting crapsville.

Basically the movie is about three dudes who love and live for Neil Diamond, but aren't really going anywhere with their lives. Jason Biggs plays a young chap who falls in love with Amanda Peet, the very sexy 'Evil Woman' who controls his life. The 2 other dudes Jack Black and Steve Zahn, play the 'dumb and dumber' mates trying to stop Biggs from marrying the evil controlling bitch, with a ton of "Something about Mary" type of jokes, pranks and of course a kidnapping and Neil Diamond.

I thought Black and Zahn really stole the show and set it up with some real good gags. Peet played the bitch to perfection and even Amanda Detmar does all right as Biggs' other love in life, a ditzy circus chick - both are pretty hot, but I reckon Peet easily wins the hotty stakes for the movie with her low cut dresses. Biggs however totally sucks. This guy cannot act and is not funny, and will never be anything except a sucker. So besides him, if you like Farrelly brother stupid humour movies, then go check out this flick. Personally I think it kicks Pie 2's ass (but then I dig real stupid shit).

Evil Woman, aka Saving Silverman, was written off as a crap movie, hence the name change and about a 1 year delay of the movie reaching Australian shores. However after having been persuaded by Jean to go see it (who was told to go by Jeremy) I was pleasantly surprised to find myself laughing through the entire movie. I found it particularly stupid, but having a stupid sense of humour, this was right on the money for me. Especially because I was expecting crapsville.

Basically the movie is about three dudes who love and live for Neil Diamond, but aren't really going anywhere with their lives. Jason Biggs plays a young chap who falls in love with Amanda Peet, the very sexy 'Evil Woman' who controls his life. The 2 other dudes Jack Black and Steve Zahn, play the 'dumb and dumber' mates trying to stop Biggs from marrying the evil controlling bitch, with a ton of "Something about Mary" type of jokes, pranks and of course a kidnapping and Neil Diamond.

I thought Black and Zahn really stole the show and set it up with some real good gags. Peet played the bitch to perfection and even Amanda Detmar does all right as Biggs' other love in life, a ditzy circus chick - both are pretty hot, but I reckon Peet easily wins the hotty stakes for the movie with her low cut dresses. Biggs however totally sucks. This guy cannot act and is not funny, and will never be anything except a sucker. So besides him, if you like Farrelly brother stupid humour movies, then go check out this flick. Personally I think it kicks Pie 2's ass (but then I dig real stupid shit).

Any movie starring Robert Deniro in my opinion is generally going to be a good movie. Throw in Marlon Brando, Angela Basset and Ed Norton and the cast alone is going to guarantee an enjoyable movie experience. The score in the end delivered quite well, with the only team not contributing been the ratface cinema at Greater Union.

 

The score stars Deniro as an aging thief who on the verge of retirement is enticed to work on a huge score with another unknown thief, Norton, who has been scoping the whole plan. Deniro is reluctant to work with the young freshman, preferring to always work on his own, but is convinced by his “boss” crime pimp Brando to take on the lucrative challenge. Basset meanwhile has a lesser role as Deniro’s love interest. The real star of the movie in my opinion though, is the computer nerd they use to hack codes – so true.

 

The movie is quite simple yet very effective. The burglary scenes are very suspenseful and tense and make for an enjoyable flick. The biggest disappoint however had to be Greater Union. Because of the new boy faggot wonder movie “Harry Potter”, this new movie was relegated to the extremely crap and uncomfortable cinema 2. What really shat me off though was the fact the sound kept cutting out through the entire film, which was extremely annoying, distracting and took away a lot from the film. Lift your game Greater Union and send the stupid kids to the crap cinemas and let the real world enjoy new movies in decent cinemas. Expect an angry letter soon.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is the first installment in a planned series of seven films (of course, based on the books) and has a lot to live up to after the considerable hype that it has recieved for some time now. The kids who love the books are of course going to love this movie regardless, the older people with less knowledge of all things Potter will probably just think what all teh fuss is about.

Harry Potter is the tale of a young boy who was left with his "muggle" (that's non magic folk) relatives as a baby after his parents perished at the hands of an evil sorcerer and at the age of eleven is accepted into Hogwarts, the school where one goes off to learn how to become a wizard or witch. While there, plenty of adventure ensues and Harry learns a thing or two about himself in the process, and he of course saves the day.

Although Harry Potter is an enjoyable adventure tale, it lacks in that magic that other films have that are able to captivate the viewer (Star Wars, E.T.) and it really is just a kids film. Unlike the others mentioned, it doesn't seem to have that long lasting effect, and it seems that this will forever be just a kids film that kids will not continue to appreciate when they get older. Who knows what the other tales will bring though.

The main fault of this film though lies squarely at the feet of director Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Mrs Doubtfire) who does this film purely by the numbers. Nothing is attempted to change anything from the book as the source material is followed extremely closely (nothing is left out from the story, just condensed). Although it is good to rely on the original story, the problem here is that the film seems to assume that everyone seeing the movie has read the book. Though you don't lose anything from the story, things are just mentioned very briefly without being expanded on at all. It is a shame that some of the other directors who were considering to do the film either decided not to or were not chosen to do so. Spielberg would have made the relationship between the friends a lot more important and meaningful than what was portrayed or someone such as Terry Gilliam would have made this an outstanding film to look at visually. Instead, Columbus has seemingly just thrown everything together, relying on the inbuilt fan base to make this a huge success and has not tried to make this film special and just gone the easy route.

The highlights from the film were definately the young character of Ron Weasley (played by Rupert Grint), who has a very sarcastic streak to him and that of the gentle giant Hagrid, played by Robbie (Cracker) Coltrane who provides most of the laughs during the movie. Overall though, this film is an enjoyable adventure tale, one that can be enjoyed by all but is really a film for the younger audiences who already love the books.

Any movie starring Robert Deniro in my opinion is generally going to be a good movie. Throw in Marlon Brando, Angela Basset and Ed Norton and the cast alone is going to guarantee an enjoyable movie experience. The score in the end delivered quite well, with the only team not contributing been the ratface cinema at Greater Union.

 

The score stars Deniro as an aging thief who on the verge of retirement is enticed to work on a huge score with another unknown thief, Norton, who has been scoping the whole plan. Deniro is reluctant to work with the young freshman, preferring to always work on his own, but is convinced by his “boss” crime pimp Brando to take on the lucrative challenge. Basset meanwhile has a lesser role as Deniro’s love interest. The real star of the movie in my opinion though, is the computer nerd they use to hack codes – so true.

 

The movie is quite simple yet very effective. The burglary scenes are very suspenseful and tense and make for an enjoyable flick. The biggest disappoint however had to be Greater Union. Because of the new boy faggot wonder movie “Harry Potter”, this new movie was relegated to the extremely crap and uncomfortable cinema 2. What really shat me off though was the fact the sound kept cutting out through the entire film, which was extremely annoying, distracting and took away a lot from the film. Lift your game Greater Union and send the stupid kids to the crap cinemas and let the real world enjoy new movies in decent cinemas. Expect an angry letter soon.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is the first installment in a planned series of seven films (of course, based on the books) and has a lot to live up to after the considerable hype that it has recieved for some time now. The kids who love the books are of course going to love this movie regardless, the older people with less knowledge of all things Potter will probably just think what all teh fuss is about.

Harry Potter is the tale of a young boy who was left with his "muggle" (that's non magic folk) relatives as a baby after his parents perished at the hands of an evil sorcerer and at the age of eleven is accepted into Hogwarts, the school where one goes off to learn how to become a wizard or witch. While there, plenty of adventure ensues and Harry learns a thing or two about himself in the process, and he of course saves the day.

Although Harry Potter is an enjoyable adventure tale, it lacks in that magic that other films have that are able to captivate the viewer (Star Wars, E.T.) and it really is just a kids film. Unlike the others mentioned, it doesn't seem to have that long lasting effect, and it seems that this will forever be just a kids film that kids will not continue to appreciate when they get older. Who knows what the other tales will bring though.

The main fault of this film though lies squarely at the feet of director Chris Columbus (Home Alone, Mrs Doubtfire) who does this film purely by the numbers. Nothing is attempted to change anything from the book as the source material is followed extremely closely (nothing is left out from the story, just condensed). Although it is good to rely on the original story, the problem here is that the film seems to assume that everyone seeing the movie has read the book. Though you don't lose anything from the story, things are just mentioned very briefly without being expanded on at all. It is a shame that some of the other directors who were considering to do the film either decided not to or were not chosen to do so. Spielberg would have made the relationship between the friends a lot more important and meaningful than what was portrayed or someone such as Terry Gilliam would have made this an outstanding film to look at visually. Instead, Columbus has seemingly just thrown everything together, relying on the inbuilt fan base to make this a huge success and has not tried to make this film special and just gone the easy route.

The highlights from the film were definately the young character of Ron Weasley (played by Rupert Grint), who has a very sarcastic streak to him and that of the gentle giant Hagrid, played by Robbie (Cracker) Coltrane who provides most of the laughs during the movie. Overall though, this film is an enjoyable adventure tale, one that can be enjoyed by all but is really a film for the younger audiences who already love the books.

Comedy sequels rarely work. Nerds II, Ghostbusters II, Teen Wolf Too. Sometimes they manage to succeed as a half decent follow up but try to get the same laughs as before. American Pie 2 is a prime example of this. The funny moments from the first one are emulated in different circumstances and unfortunately some jokes are just re used, to ill effect. 

AP2 follows the young fellas from the first film after their first year of college as they all go away to party for the summer, or at least tries to. Quickly into this movie, it is soon extremely obvious that this is the Jim and Stiffler show. The other guys' story arcs are either dull (Kevin, but that is no surprise), stupid (Finch) or virtually non existent (Oz). Of course Jim is the main character and once again he is very confused over his sex life (or lack of) as he tries to prepare for a return meeting with the extremely hot Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) by hooking up with flute toting band geek, Michelle, for some pointers. Along the way, we get to see the same crazy shit as before which tries to out gross the original (let's just say that super glue and urine both have integral parts to play) and a shit load of Stiffler jokes. This should have been a good thing, but in the end he is shoved down your throat so much that he loses that certain magic that he had in a more reduced role in the first film. Dare I even say, that by the end he actually becomes quite annoying and way to predictable. Speaking of which, this films real problem is it's predictability as it relies to much on previous jokes and cliched feel good Hollywood moments.

Virtually every character from the first film returns. Jim's dad is there, Vicky, Jessica, and a lot more including the "yo, bro, dude" guy (who speaks toomuch and is just not funny) and unfortunately the Sherminator, who just plain sucks ass as he literally recycles the same jokes. There are too many characters returning and most are there just to be there, in typical comedy sequel fashion. As mentioned, whole sub plots just do not work at all. Kevin is still hung up on Vicky, and like the first film he is a totally boring character. Oz's story is very boring and Finch's persistent attempts to become a sexual master who never shuts up about Stiffler's mom becomes very annoying, very quickly (which was perhaps the biggest disappointment of the whole film, as Finch was one of the highlights of the first film).

Overall, it may be too early to totally judge this film yet, as just like a fine wine, a great comedy ages well. But it seems doubtful that this movie will be one that can be counted on for discovering new lines after repeated viewings. It's humour is forced. The greatness of the first was not the Pie scene, nor the flute scene, it was in it's ability, like all great comedies, to have lines that were not shoved in your face but required a knowledge of fine humour to recognise them. Alas, American Pie 2 will not go down as a classic but just as a typical sequel that is definately worth seeing but fails to live up to it's predecessors immortality as a comedy great.

p.s. One of the better lines was delivered by comedy great Eugene Levy (Jim's Dad): "Jim, don't forget your penis cream".

Comedy sequels rarely work. Nerds II, Ghostbusters II, Teen Wolf Too. Sometimes they manage to succeed as a half decent follow up but try to get the same laughs as before. American Pie 2 is a prime example of this. The funny moments from the first one are emulated in different circumstances and unfortunately some jokes are just re used, to ill effect. 

AP2 follows the young fellas from the first film after their first year of college as they all go away to party for the summer, or at least tries to. Quickly into this movie, it is soon extremely obvious that this is the Jim and Stiffler show. The other guys' story arcs are either dull (Kevin, but that is no surprise), stupid (Finch) or virtually non existent (Oz). Of course Jim is the main character and once again he is very confused over his sex life (or lack of) as he tries to prepare for a return meeting with the extremely hot Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) by hooking up with flute toting band geek, Michelle, for some pointers. Along the way, we get to see the same crazy shit as before which tries to out gross the original (let's just say that super glue and urine both have integral parts to play) and a shit load of Stiffler jokes. This should have been a good thing, but in the end he is shoved down your throat so much that he loses that certain magic that he had in a more reduced role in the first film. Dare I even say, that by the end he actually becomes quite annoying and way to predictable. Speaking of which, this films real problem is it's predictability as it relies to much on previous jokes and cliched feel good Hollywood moments.

Virtually every character from the first film returns. Jim's dad is there, Vicky, Jessica, and a lot more including the "yo, bro, dude" guy (who speaks toomuch and is just not funny) and unfortunately the Sherminator, who just plain sucks ass as he literally recycles the same jokes. There are too many characters returning and most are there just to be there, in typical comedy sequel fashion. As mentioned, whole sub plots just do not work at all. Kevin is still hung up on Vicky, and like the first film he is a totally boring character. Oz's story is very boring and Finch's persistent attempts to become a sexual master who never shuts up about Stiffler's mom becomes very annoying, very quickly (which was perhaps the biggest disappointment of the whole film, as Finch was one of the highlights of the first film).

Overall, it may be too early to totally judge this film yet, as just like a fine wine, a great comedy ages well. But it seems doubtful that this movie will be one that can be counted on for discovering new lines after repeated viewings. It's humour is forced. The greatness of the first was not the Pie scene, nor the flute scene, it was in it's ability, like all great comedies, to have lines that were not shoved in your face but required a knowledge of fine humour to recognise them. Alas, American Pie 2 will not go down as a classic but just as a typical sequel that is definately worth seeing but fails to live up to it's predecessors immortality as a comedy great.

p.s. One of the better lines was delivered by comedy great Eugene Levy (Jim's Dad): "Jim, don't forget your penis cream".

Crazy/Beautiful is a new movie where Kirsten Dunst portrays a character who doesn't have it all figured out. Dunst is Nicole, a rich girl with emotional problems who falls for the straight-edged Carlos, played by Jay Hernandez, who lives on the poor side of town with his Mexican mates who sound like the mice in Speedy Gonzalos. The movie follows their relationship and it's ups and downs, while in their final year of high school, and dealing with their personal, ethnic and relationship problems(don't worry Greg, its not as boring as it sounds).

This movie was different from Bring it On and Get Over It as Dunst was able to show off her darker side, a feat which she does beautifully. Dunst shows real depth as the vulnerable and untrusting Nicole and her tears, trials and tribulations appear genuine and allow the audience to see another side of Kirsten altogether (as well as see her in a bikini and little tops again). All in all, Crazy/Beautiful is not just another teen flick as it offers a slightly more grounded outlook on teenage life and love. I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes Kirsten Dunst (cause she is such a hottie) or who enjoys a good romantic movie (such as Forro).

Ethan Hawke and Denzel Washington star in this black neighbourhood drama about Hawkes first day on the job in the narcotics division in the hood. Washington stars in a much more "bad motherfarker" role as the experienced cop who takes Hawke under his wing and shows him the ropes of how to do the job the "right" way.

An interesting movie that surprised me in a few ways in the direction that it ends up going, and remains enjoyable throughout the entire movie. All the characters seem real, and the actors seem to show and play their different personalities really well, making the audience feel quite involved with the whole experience. It is good to see Hawke back on the big screen and as always Washington pulls off his role well. Worth a watch and definitely a good and different perspective for the black hood type of movie.

Marky Mark stars in the enjoyable ‘rockstar’ as a young band loving groupie who moulds both his tribute band and life around his idols ‘Steel Dragon’ (sort of like Nyssa and her ever changing fads). As fate would have it, the lead singer position for the band falls vacant and Marky Mark soon finds himself starring as the pin up boy for this 80’s rock band. The movie follows Marky Mark around as he learns what life as a rockstar is really like, and his relationship with high school sweetheart Jennifer Aniston.

 

I found the movie heaps of fun with heaps of classic songs thrown in for good measure on the sound track - from Kiss to Bon Jovi to INXS, watch out for Marky Mark’s classic in the credits as well! Mark Wahlberg does a great job as the rock star, however the movie is quite similar in many ways to one of his other hits ‘Boogie Nights’, which as Jean pointed out, had that been called Pornstar, this could easily have joined it, in a series of 80’s Marky Mark movies about becoming a star in different fields. Here’s hoping his next flick will be called Brewstar, another 80’s star- a girl called Punky…

Marky Mark stars in the enjoyable ‘rockstar’ as a young band loving groupie who moulds both his tribute band and life around his idols ‘Steel Dragon’ (sort of like Nyssa and her ever changing fads). As fate would have it, the lead singer position for the band falls vacant and Marky Mark soon finds himself starring as the pin up boy for this 80’s rock band. The movie follows Marky Mark around as he learns what life as a rockstar is really like, and his relationship with high school sweetheart Jennifer Aniston.

 

I found the movie heaps of fun with heaps of classic songs thrown in for good measure on the sound track - from Kiss to Bon Jovi to INXS, watch out for Marky Mark’s classic in the credits as well! Mark Wahlberg does a great job as the rock star, however the movie is quite similar in many ways to one of his other hits ‘Boogie Nights’, which as Jean pointed out, had that been called Pornstar, this could easily have joined it, in a series of 80’s Marky Mark movies about becoming a star in different fields. Here’s hoping his next flick will be called Brewstar, another 80’s star- a girl called Punky…

I went into this movie not knowing anything at all about it, not even who was in it or what genre of film it was. I came out of this movie with the answer to 2 of these questions, however I still don’t know what the hell the movie was about.

 

So basically this movie stars Saffron Burrows, Kate Winslett and Dougray Scott and is set during world war 2. Scott is a smart nerd trying to crack German codes and at the same time trying to locate his lost girlfriend Burrows, with the help of Winslett (who does a pretty good job). Throw in a storyline which is totally confusing, full of historical crap I don’t know a thing about and a stack of characters who are not ever really mentioned, except to confuse you, and you have the recipe for a movie that requires someone like Howard to explain it to you. Unfortunately Howie is in Canada, but if he is out there and has seen this movie please contact me because I have a million bloody questions to ask about this whole movie thing, especially because lately all I have done is watch Bruckheimer movies which have turned my brain into mush.

 

Basically if you like period drama sort of movies go see this, but make sure your paying attention or you’ll walk out like me saying “what the..?”

I went into this movie not knowing anything at all about it, not even who was in it or what genre of film it was. I came out of this movie with the answer to 2 of these questions, however I still don’t know what the hell the movie was about.

 

So basically this movie stars Saffron Burrows, Kate Winslett and Dougray Scott and is set during world war 2. Scott is a smart nerd trying to crack German codes and at the same time trying to locate his lost girlfriend Burrows, with the help of Winslett (who does a pretty good job). Throw in a storyline which is totally confusing, full of historical crap I don’t know a thing about and a stack of characters who are not ever really mentioned, except to confuse you, and you have the recipe for a movie that requires someone like Howard to explain it to you. Unfortunately Howie is in Canada, but if he is out there and has seen this movie please contact me because I have a million bloody questions to ask about this whole movie thing, especially because lately all I have done is watch Bruckheimer movies which have turned my brain into mush.

 

Basically if you like period drama sort of movies go see this, but make sure your paying attention or you’ll walk out like me saying “what the..?”

Not a bad flick.

Will be a short review, cos I'm not really in the mood for writting much, so I'll probably cop more crap from GR for the way this is written.

A run of the mill, BUT genuinly scary movie. This will have you on the edge of your seats for most the the 2 hours your at your seat. I can't really tell you much about what happens as it will take alot away from your experience seeing this movie. Suffice to say that Nicole Kidman is the mother of two children. One of which is all of a sudden seeing people in there once unoccupied house. Add to this some seemingly harmless house cleaners and HOLY CRAP, your jumping at anything and everything that happens for the rest of the movie.

Also to prove I wasn't the only person getting a bit of a fright, there is a very tense scene towards the end of the movie where it all comes together and let me just say. The whole cinema collectively shat themselves. It was a bit of a laugh.

Was a good movie, with a bit of a twist at the end. Gets most marks for the suspense factor. Does drag on for a bit in the early and middle parts, but that also lets you try and look tough again for you girlfriend/boyfriend. Good if you want to get close.

Enjoy it, it's great if you love these types of movies and great if you just want to go and scare yourself or someone else for a while.

Not a bad flick.

Will be a short review, cos I'm not really in the mood for writting much, so I'll probably cop more crap from GR for the way this is written.

A run of the mill, BUT genuinly scary movie. This will have you on the edge of your seats for most the the 2 hours your at your seat. I can't really tell you much about what happens as it will take alot away from your experience seeing this movie. Suffice to say that Nicole Kidman is the mother of two children. One of which is all of a sudden seeing people in there once unoccupied house. Add to this some seemingly harmless house cleaners and HOLY CRAP, your jumping at anything and everything that happens for the rest of the movie.

Also to prove I wasn't the only person getting a bit of a fright, there is a very tense scene towards the end of the movie where it all comes together and let me just say. The whole cinema collectively shat themselves. It was a bit of a laugh.

Was a good movie, with a bit of a twist at the end. Gets most marks for the suspense factor. Does drag on for a bit in the early and middle parts, but that also lets you try and look tough again for you girlfriend/boyfriend. Good if you want to get close.

Enjoy it, it's great if you love these types of movies and great if you just want to go and scare yourself or someone else for a while.

John Carpenter, the king of B grade (not T&A B grade though) returns with his next film, The Ghosts of Mars, but unfortunately does not come up with the goods, especially when comparing it to some of his classic films. This film though is quite typical of a Carpenter story with the requisite bad acting and simple story line that is used to fuel the action and suspense. The film follows a group of police, who must pick up a dangerous criminal (Ice Cube, in very shit form) in a small outpost on Mars, about 150 years in the future. Upon arriving to the town they discover that the inhabitants have been possesed by ancient evil spirits, who then go totallyy nuts and chop heaps of heads off. The story is told in a quite annoying flashback form, and it seems that everything is done just to show the next head chopping, face peeling or some kind of limb being cut off. The cast includes the chick from Species, Foxy Brown herself (Pam Grier), the bald guy from Lock, Stock and Snatch (who is just an annoying pom in this film) and a special cameo by Robert Carradine (Lewis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds).

Carpenter has never tried to tell complex stories but this film really does not hit the mark of his other classics like Halloween, Escape From New York, the Thing or even for that matter his last movie, Vampires. For a lot of senseless violence and gore, Ghosts of Mars succeeds but does not achieve too much else.

John Carpenter, the king of B grade (not T&A B grade though) returns with his next film, The Ghosts of Mars, but unfortunately does not come up with the goods, especially when comparing it to some of his classic films. This film though is quite typical of a Carpenter story with the requisite bad acting and simple story line that is used to fuel the action and suspense. The film follows a group of police, who must pick up a dangerous criminal (Ice Cube, in very shit form) in a small outpost on Mars, about 150 years in the future. Upon arriving to the town they discover that the inhabitants have been possesed by ancient evil spirits, who then go totallyy nuts and chop heaps of heads off. The story is told in a quite annoying flashback form, and it seems that everything is done just to show the next head chopping, face peeling or some kind of limb being cut off. The cast includes the chick from Species, Foxy Brown herself (Pam Grier), the bald guy from Lock, Stock and Snatch (who is just an annoying pom in this film) and a special cameo by Robert Carradine (Lewis Skolnick from Revenge of the Nerds).

Carpenter has never tried to tell complex stories but this film really does not hit the mark of his other classics like Halloween, Escape From New York, the Thing or even for that matter his last movie, Vampires. For a lot of senseless violence and gore, Ghosts of Mars succeeds but does not achieve too much else.

Dont say a word is directed by Gary Fleder the guy who made Kiss the Girls and stars
the king Micahel Douglas and a few other "never heard of ya befores". Whilst the movie without the king would have sucked the king does his best to develop his character and his love for his kidnapped child.

The bad guy Patrick Koster (Sean Bean) is a total dickhead and I still dont understand why directors select bad guys who A. Dont look like a bad guy B. Dress the bad guy in a leather jacket C. Make the bad guy have a piss poor irish acent(name an irish perons who doesnt have a piss me off voice) D. Surround the bad guy with the most stupid and dumbship sidekicks (They can rob a well secured bank during the day but struggle to contain a 6 year old? What up with that?).

This thriller is basically about a bad dude trying to recover some money and needing to get a number out of a retards head, he kidnaps the retards doctors daughter and forces the doc to recover the number from the retards head. The old chase, shoot and desperation shit weve already seen in fifty other kidnapping movies but this one has the king and is worth the watch if you like this type of movie.

Dont say a word is directed by Gary Fleder the guy who made Kiss the Girls and stars
the king Micahel Douglas and a few other "never heard of ya befores". Whilst the movie without the king would have sucked the king does his best to develop his character and his love for his kidnapped child.

The bad guy Patrick Koster (Sean Bean) is a total dickhead and I still dont understand why directors select bad guys who A. Dont look like a bad guy B. Dress the bad guy in a leather jacket C. Make the bad guy have a piss poor irish acent(name an irish perons who doesnt have a piss me off voice) D. Surround the bad guy with the most stupid and dumbship sidekicks (They can rob a well secured bank during the day but struggle to contain a 6 year old? What up with that?).

This thriller is basically about a bad dude trying to recover some money and needing to get a number out of a retards head, he kidnaps the retards doctors daughter and forces the doc to recover the number from the retards head. The old chase, shoot and desperation shit weve already seen in fifty other kidnapping movies but this one has the king and is worth the watch if you like this type of movie.

Don't write this movie of as a poofy romantic comedy in the vein of When Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle, it's not as lame as the title might suggest.

First of all, there is no Meg Ryan in sight. Not that there's nothing wrong with Meg but Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta Jones are arguably bigger spunks.

Secondly, the male lead in the movie is John Cusack, a genius in my eyes. In Sweethearts he plays the nuerotic half of what used to be America's favourite on-screen and off-screen couple (Zeta Jones is Gwen, the other half) The nuerotic role is one that he has mastered in past films High Fidelity, Being John Malkovich and my all time favourite, the 80's classic Better Off Dead.

The main premise of the plot is that this couple have gone off the rails and their careers have both suffered from it. The couple made one last movie together with an eccentric producer that has yet to be released.

The producer is holding the film hostage for some reason (didn't quite understand that) and the movie company execs (Billy Crystal and co) want to get the couple back together for a press junket to bullshit the media into thinking the company has a film to show while bargaining with the producer to release the film.

Underlining all this is a tale of unrequited love. While acting as her sister's assistant and obeying her every command, Roberts' character Kiki has fallen for cusack's Eddie.

I won't tell you what happens in the end but let's just say it's not really a surprise.

And before you go writing me off as gay, yes I did go see this with a girl unlike Blocky and Munno who went to see The Princess Diaries together. Ha, fags!

This film reeks of trying to cash in on the success of last years Scary Movie, even though one of the catch lines for that film was that there would be no sequel. Normally I do not like these kind of films (Flying High - "ever seen a man naked?" - etc), but Scary Movie was an above average comedy that certainly pushed all the limits on gross out humour. Scary Movie 2 uses pretty much the same jokes, including a guy really blowing his load again. It was obvious this movie was made in an extreme rush, evidenced by the fact that it is already taking off movies that only came out this year (Hannibal for one) and that it literally had around 8 different people credited for writing the script.

The movie follows most of the surviving cast from the first with some new (including two Beverly Hills 90210 alumni) additions who stay in a haunted house to awaken some ghosts. So for some reason they are taking off a film that was really crappy and not very popular to begin with (the Haunting). How good can a movie be when it making fun of  a movie that people laughed at in the first place? Granted though, this movie does have some funny things, especially if you are a fan of pathetic humour. I did find myself laughing at some things early and sporadically but the jokes grow tiresome. If you are a dumb idiot who likes idiotic humour, this bud's for you.

Don't write this movie of as a poofy romantic comedy in the vein of When Harry Met Sally or Sleepless in Seattle, it's not as lame as the title might suggest.

First of all, there is no Meg Ryan in sight. Not that there's nothing wrong with Meg but Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta Jones are arguably bigger spunks.

Secondly, the male lead in the movie is John Cusack, a genius in my eyes. In Sweethearts he plays the nuerotic half of what used to be America's favourite on-screen and off-screen couple (Zeta Jones is Gwen, the other half) The nuerotic role is one that he has mastered in past films High Fidelity, Being John Malkovich and my all time favourite, the 80's classic Better Off Dead.

The main premise of the plot is that this couple have gone off the rails and their careers have both suffered from it. The couple made one last movie together with an eccentric producer that has yet to be released.

The producer is holding the film hostage for some reason (didn't quite understand that) and the movie company execs (Billy Crystal and co) want to get the couple back together for a press junket to bullshit the media into thinking the company has a film to show while bargaining with the producer to release the film.

Underlining all this is a tale of unrequited love. While acting as her sister's assistant and obeying her every command, Roberts' character Kiki has fallen for cusack's Eddie.

I won't tell you what happens in the end but let's just say it's not really a surprise.

And before you go writing me off as gay, yes I did go see this with a girl unlike Blocky and Munno who went to see The Princess Diaries together. Ha, fags!

This film reeks of trying to cash in on the success of last years Scary Movie, even though one of the catch lines for that film was that there would be no sequel. Normally I do not like these kind of films (Flying High - "ever seen a man naked?" - etc), but Scary Movie was an above average comedy that certainly pushed all the limits on gross out humour. Scary Movie 2 uses pretty much the same jokes, including a guy really blowing his load again. It was obvious this movie was made in an extreme rush, evidenced by the fact that it is already taking off movies that only came out this year (Hannibal for one) and that it literally had around 8 different people credited for writing the script.

The movie follows most of the surviving cast from the first with some new (including two Beverly Hills 90210 alumni) additions who stay in a haunted house to awaken some ghosts. So for some reason they are taking off a film that was really crappy and not very popular to begin with (the Haunting). How good can a movie be when it making fun of  a movie that people laughed at in the first place? Granted though, this movie does have some funny things, especially if you are a fan of pathetic humour. I did find myself laughing at some things early and sporadically but the jokes grow tiresome. If you are a dumb idiot who likes idiotic humour, this bud's for you.

You don't get too many straight up mystery/thriller movies very often these days, and though
The Glass House is by no means a great movie, it satisfies the viewer with an interesting
story that is carried along nicely and does not bore. The story follows Ruby (LeeLee Sobieski), who along with her younger brother, lose their parents in a trgic car accident and are sent to live with their former neighbours, Erin and Terry Glass (Diane Lane and Stellan Skarsgard) who coincidently live in a glass house. They turn out to be not what they seem, and Ruby tries desperately to discover their dastardly intentions. Along the way, we are pulled into the mystery as we try to find out what is going on and who is involved.

This is not really a movie where you do not know what is going and you find yourself involved in a shocking climax. We discover everything along with Ruby, so what she discovers is never out of the blue. The film though paces along nicely and does not really ever grow tiresome, nor does it ever speed up to shock you which is refreshing in some ways as it relies purely on the story and it's characters to carry the film. The Galsshouse is really just a simple thriller, and as such, not too much should be expected from it.

p.s. The evil Mr Glass of the Glass House pales in comparison to the evil Mr Glass of Unbreakable ("the kids call me Mr Glass"). Especially since he does not have a funky, warped afro.

You don't get too many straight up mystery/thriller movies very often these days, and though
The Glass House is by no means a great movie, it satisfies the viewer with an interesting
story that is carried along nicely and does not bore. The story follows Ruby (LeeLee Sobieski), who along with her younger brother, lose their parents in a trgic car accident and are sent to live with their former neighbours, Erin and Terry Glass (Diane Lane and Stellan Skarsgard) who coincidently live in a glass house. They turn out to be not what they seem, and Ruby tries desperately to discover their dastardly intentions. Along the way, we are pulled into the mystery as we try to find out what is going on and who is involved.

This is not really a movie where you do not know what is going and you find yourself involved in a shocking climax. We discover everything along with Ruby, so what she discovers is never out of the blue. The film though paces along nicely and does not really ever grow tiresome, nor does it ever speed up to shock you which is refreshing in some ways as it relies purely on the story and it's characters to carry the film. The Galsshouse is really just a simple thriller, and as such, not too much should be expected from it.

p.s. The evil Mr Glass of the Glass House pales in comparison to the evil Mr Glass of Unbreakable ("the kids call me Mr Glass"). Especially since he does not have a funky, warped afro.

If you saw Rush Hour then you are sure to enjoy Rush Hour 2 (that is provided that you enjoyed the first one). Both the movies are simple in concept - basically the good ol' old couple set up (ba bum da dum da da, dum da da daa). Chris Tucker plays the LA cop with a mouth that could even talk Greg down when he's wound up about civil engineers. Jackie Chan is the kung fu king who chops his way through half of Hong Kong.

Thats basically the movie plus throw in a plot that doesn't make any sense at all (but who cares?). There a team that kick ass and have fun. Throw in a stack of gags and you have yourself a hit movie. My biggest gripe for the movie probably is the fact that half of the movie was in the trailer, so a lot of the good moments have already been spoilt. But other wise if you just want an easy to watch flick, which has quite a few laughs, and some kick ass fight scenes then this is the show for you.... and of course there are the standard "Jackie Chan" outtakes at the end which are quite entertaining.

If you saw Rush Hour then you are sure to enjoy Rush Hour 2 (that is provided that you enjoyed the first one). Both the movies are simple in concept - basically the good ol' old couple set up (ba bum da dum da da, dum da da daa). Chris Tucker plays the LA cop with a mouth that could even talk Greg down when he's wound up about civil engineers. Jackie Chan is the kung fu king who chops his way through half of Hong Kong.

Thats basically the movie plus throw in a plot that doesn't make any sense at all (but who cares?). There a team that kick ass and have fun. Throw in a stack of gags and you have yourself a hit movie. My biggest gripe for the movie probably is the fact that half of the movie was in the trailer, so a lot of the good moments have already been spoilt. But other wise if you just want an easy to watch flick, which has quite a few laughs, and some kick ass fight scenes then this is the show for you.... and of course there are the standard "Jackie Chan" outtakes at the end which are quite entertaining.

Jet Li stars in his latest Hollywood movie, and  fans of martial arts films will not be disappointed. Li is considered one of the top kung fu dudes in the world of movies and proves it in this film, his acting shows though that he may even have to take lessons off his fellow Hong Kong star, Jackie Chan. In other words, he should just beat the shit out of people and not say a word.

Kiss of the Dragon follows Johnny (Li), who is so named because the French bad guy cannot be bothered learning his Chinese name, a Chinese secret service agent who is sent to Paris to help capture a Chinese drug lord. The drug lord is murdered by a corrupt cop and Johnny is framed for the murder, who must then go on to clear his name. Along the way he gets messed up with an American 'ho who happens to be living in Paris. This movie was co-written by Luc Besson (director of the Fifth Element, a french man) so that really only seems to be the reason for it's locale.

Kiss of the Dragon is really a standard action, martial arts film with the usual MTV style editing and cinematography that is so common place now. The story is also the usual one, a lone hero clearing his name and helping out a damsel in distress. The thing I love about these martial arts movies are the hired goons, who for some reason tend to have bleached hair  (this movie has two of them, and twins no less), never speak, show off their fighting talents and end up getting their asses kicked in various ways. Kiss of the Dragon definately has the required quota of hired goons. Overall, Kiss of the Dragon is a straight up kung fu movie that does not try and be different and is your typical violent good time at the movies.

Jet Li stars in his latest Hollywood movie, and  fans of martial arts films will not be disappointed. Li is considered one of the top kung fu dudes in the world of movies and proves it in this film, his acting shows though that he may even have to take lessons off his fellow Hong Kong star, Jackie Chan. In other words, he should just beat the shit out of people and not say a word.

Kiss of the Dragon follows Johnny (Li), who is so named because the French bad guy cannot be bothered learning his Chinese name, a Chinese secret service agent who is sent to Paris to help capture a Chinese drug lord. The drug lord is murdered by a corrupt cop and Johnny is framed for the murder, who must then go on to clear his name. Along the way he gets messed up with an American 'ho who happens to be living in Paris. This movie was co-written by Luc Besson (director of the Fifth Element, a french man) so that really only seems to be the reason for it's locale.

Kiss of the Dragon is really a standard action, martial arts film with the usual MTV style editing and cinematography that is so common place now. The story is also the usual one, a lone hero clearing his name and helping out a damsel in distress. The thing I love about these martial arts movies are the hired goons, who for some reason tend to have bleached hair  (this movie has two of them, and twins no less), never speak, show off their fighting talents and end up getting their asses kicked in various ways. Kiss of the Dragon definately has the required quota of hired goons. Overall, Kiss of the Dragon is a straight up kung fu movie that does not try and be different and is your typical violent good time at the movies.

Yet again I have managed to score and early release preview of a super movie. One Night at McCools is based on one hot chick(Liv Tyler) and three dorks (Matt Dillon,  Paul Reiser and John Goodman) who cant help but be drawn into her amazing curves and assets. Whilst the movie will give you the "Something about Mary" feel dont worry this movie isnt that bad - Liv would kick anorexic Diaz's ass in a fight- she is Finnnne!

My car next? Please?

Watch also for the killer preformance by none other than the master Michael Douglas. All in all this movie is alot of fun and has a kick ass storyline.

See this movie  - it rocks....

Storyline:

Have you heard the one about three guys, a girl and a bar? What actually happened depends on who tells you the story and that’s the premise of Harald Zwart’s black comedy about three very different men who become intoxicated by the same woman and learn to regret it.

Each of these victims tells his story to the confessor of his choice and all three see the same events through different eyes. Probably closest to the truth is the one related by Randy (Matt Dillon), who pours out his heart to Mr Burmeister, a hit man who likes bingo and who’s played by a funny Michael Douglas wearing a pompadour wig and a jaded look. When Randy’s story begins he’s a barman at a pub called McCool’s and on the night in question, his lawyer cousin, Carl (Paul Reiser), is among the drunken customers. Leaving after he has finally closed up, Randy saves the beautiful Jewel (Liv Tyler) from the clutches of a thug called Utah (Andrew Silverstein, aka Andrew Dice Clay). To cut a long story short, Randy and Jewel end up in bed, Utah, who returns to rob Randy, ends up dead and a cop called Dehling (John Goodman) ends up investigating the case. It’s Jewel who has shot Utah through the head, but, already under her spell, Randy takes the blame, telling Dehling that Utah was attempting armed robbery.

For Detective Dehling, Jewel appears as a glorious angel-like creature who brings back loving memories of his dead wife. In the meantime, Jewel has moved in with Randy. She likes him enough, but, more importantly, he has his own house and that, along with the accumulation of numerous consumer goods, is what Jewel wants most in the world. During his investigation, Dehling becomes completely besotted by her and tells his story to a real priest, Father Jimmy (Richard Jenkins), but in his version, Randy is portrayed as a despicable lowlife who beats up Jewel. And, oh, yes, there’s another death as a result of Jewel’s passion for appliances and Dehling convinces himself that Randy is responsible. He evicts him from his own house and Jewel settles in to claim it.

The third perception of Jewel is Carl’s as described to his psychiatrist Dr Green (Reba McEntire). While Randy might see her as she really is and Dehling virtually bestows sainthood on her, Carl’s account is of a leather-loving, whip-cracking goddess of pain! He is able to drool over her in close up by inviting Randy to the house for lunch with the wife and kids. Later, when Jewel asks Carl for his services as a lawyer (to keep the house), he is sure he is headed for S & M seventh heaven.

Their fantasies fuelled and each one convinced that he is the guy for Jewel, all three head for the same destination and a boisterous climax. Also on the way is Burmeister, hired by Randy to kill Jewel, who, by this time has caused him to lose his home, involved him in two murders, and turned him into a thief. With the unexpected appearance of yet another character, the confrontations and chaos that result are hilarious. And a short, final sight gag is a knockout!

Yet again I have managed to score and early release preview of a super movie. One Night at McCools is based on one hot chick(Liv Tyler) and three dorks (Matt Dillon,  Paul Reiser and John Goodman) who cant help but be drawn into her amazing curves and assets. Whilst the movie will give you the "Something about Mary" feel dont worry this movie isnt that bad - Liv would kick anorexic Diaz's ass in a fight- she is Finnnne!

My car next? Please?

Watch also for the killer preformance by none other than the master Michael Douglas. All in all this movie is alot of fun and has a kick ass storyline.

See this movie  - it rocks....

Storyline:

Have you heard the one about three guys, a girl and a bar? What actually happened depends on who tells you the story and that’s the premise of Harald Zwart’s black comedy about three very different men who become intoxicated by the same woman and learn to regret it.

Each of these victims tells his story to the confessor of his choice and all three see the same events through different eyes. Probably closest to the truth is the one related by Randy (Matt Dillon), who pours out his heart to Mr Burmeister, a hit man who likes bingo and who’s played by a funny Michael Douglas wearing a pompadour wig and a jaded look. When Randy’s story begins he’s a barman at a pub called McCool’s and on the night in question, his lawyer cousin, Carl (Paul Reiser), is among the drunken customers. Leaving after he has finally closed up, Randy saves the beautiful Jewel (Liv Tyler) from the clutches of a thug called Utah (Andrew Silverstein, aka Andrew Dice Clay). To cut a long story short, Randy and Jewel end up in bed, Utah, who returns to rob Randy, ends up dead and a cop called Dehling (John Goodman) ends up investigating the case. It’s Jewel who has shot Utah through the head, but, already under her spell, Randy takes the blame, telling Dehling that Utah was attempting armed robbery.

For Detective Dehling, Jewel appears as a glorious angel-like creature who brings back loving memories of his dead wife. In the meantime, Jewel has moved in with Randy. She likes him enough, but, more importantly, he has his own house and that, along with the accumulation of numerous consumer goods, is what Jewel wants most in the world. During his investigation, Dehling becomes completely besotted by her and tells his story to a real priest, Father Jimmy (Richard Jenkins), but in his version, Randy is portrayed as a despicable lowlife who beats up Jewel. And, oh, yes, there’s another death as a result of Jewel’s passion for appliances and Dehling convinces himself that Randy is responsible. He evicts him from his own house and Jewel settles in to claim it.

The third perception of Jewel is Carl’s as described to his psychiatrist Dr Green (Reba McEntire). While Randy might see her as she really is and Dehling virtually bestows sainthood on her, Carl’s account is of a leather-loving, whip-cracking goddess of pain! He is able to drool over her in close up by inviting Randy to the house for lunch with the wife and kids. Later, when Jewel asks Carl for his services as a lawyer (to keep the house), he is sure he is headed for S & M seventh heaven.

Their fantasies fuelled and each one convinced that he is the guy for Jewel, all three head for the same destination and a boisterous climax. Also on the way is Burmeister, hired by Randy to kill Jewel, who, by this time has caused him to lose his home, involved him in two murders, and turned him into a thief. With the unexpected appearance of yet another character, the confrontations and chaos that result are hilarious. And a short, final sight gag is a knockout!

Legally Blonde is a movie about a barbie-like girl (Reese Witherspoon) who has been happily in love with her boyfriend Emmett (Luke Wilson) through highschool, however their relationship hits a problem when they hit University. He wants to become a senator, however having a blonde Beverly Hills type wife doesn't fit into the equation, so he dumps her and heads off to Law School at Harvard. Elle (Witherspoon) realises to get back with her boyfriend needs to become a lawyer herself, so with the help of a blonde video of her in her bikini's and talking about what she hopes to achieve she manages to get her way into Law school.

From there the movie is about Elle been the odd one out in a class full of astute students with her been the stand out pink wearing blonde and learning to deal with the real problems she faces in law school, including Emmetts surprise of seeing her, and his new bitchy girlfriend Vivian (Blair). Of course without spoiling the movie Elle manages to stand up for blondes and show that they're not as dumb as their often portrayed and attempts to do well in Law School to prove the doubters wrong.

Witherspoon is definitely the main reason why this typical comedy movie works. She carries off the role real well and manages to constantly steal the attention in every scene with her pink costumes and blonde personality. This movie is sure to be a hit with girls, especially blonde ones studying law (Nyssa and Kendra...), and I personally found it quite enjoyable for a feel good comedy. I am sure that for fans of movies like Clueless, Legally Blonde will be "totally" great flick as well. Besides I'm legally blonde so I have to support the genre...

Legally Blonde is a movie about a barbie-like girl (Reese Witherspoon) who has been happily in love with her boyfriend Emmett (Luke Wilson) through highschool, however their relationship hits a problem when they hit University. He wants to become a senator, however having a blonde Beverly Hills type wife doesn't fit into the equation, so he dumps her and heads off to Law School at Harvard. Elle (Witherspoon) realises to get back with her boyfriend needs to become a lawyer herself, so with the help of a blonde video of her in her bikini's and talking about what she hopes to achieve she manages to get her way into Law school.

From there the movie is about Elle been the odd one out in a class full of astute students with her been the stand out pink wearing blonde and learning to deal with the real problems she faces in law school, including Emmetts surprise of seeing her, and his new bitchy girlfriend Vivian (Blair). Of course without spoiling the movie Elle manages to stand up for blondes and show that they're not as dumb as their often portrayed and attempts to do well in Law School to prove the doubters wrong.

Witherspoon is definitely the main reason why this typical comedy movie works. She carries off the role real well and manages to constantly steal the attention in every scene with her pink costumes and blonde personality. This movie is sure to be a hit with girls, especially blonde ones studying law (Nyssa and Kendra...), and I personally found it quite enjoyable for a feel good comedy. I am sure that for fans of movies like Clueless, Legally Blonde will be "totally" great flick as well. Besides I'm legally blonde so I have to support the genre...

A.I. Artificial Intelligence

 

After numerous requests from Kate to take her to this movie I final gave in and headed to watch AI. AI is the new film from director Steven Spielberg and the project that he inherited from his friend, the late Stanley Kubrick who had been planning to make it for many years.

 

“Ummmm.. a Stanley Kubrick movie? The man who made Eyes Wide Shut. This is going to suck” I kept telling myself. But as I had dragged Kate to The fast and the furious and Cats and dogs trying to put up an argument for this movie was never going to happen. After getting a coffee and a large coke and combining the two I headed in to the movie full of disappointments.

 

The movie dragged ass for about the first 30 minutes and sometimes I was wondering ‘where is this going”. But them BOOOOOMMM…. the movie stepped up a gear and was developing into a worthwhile Sunday afternoon. The movie was filled with wonderful special effects which don’t blow you away but do make your believe what your watching. By the end of the movie – some 2 and half hours later – I felt that my concession ticket was well worth eight dollars and fifty cents. Whilst I will probably never watch this film again – it’s a once only deal – I’m glad I did. My recommendation is to go see this movie but don’t expect too much and just enjoy the adventure.

 

BreakDown:

 

A.I. is set in the future when the greenhouse effect has resulted in the melting of the polar ice caps and the submerging of many coastal cities. Intelligent machines that perform a variety of functions have been created to help humanity survive. Now, as these machines live side by side with humans who treat them like slaves, society has been divided into two groups: those that belong to the “mecha” (robots) and those who comprise the “orga” (human or organic).

Into this world comes David Swinton (a staggeringly good Haley Joel Osment), a unique robotic boy who is the first android that has been programmed to feel love and to become an emotional member of a human group. The Swinton family comprises Monica (Australian actress, Frances O’Connor), Henry (Sam Robards) and their human son, Martin (Jake Thomas) who is in a coma and not expected to recover. David has been created to fill the gap. After a period of rejection followed by uncertainty, Monica takes the final, irreversible step in which she accepts David as her son. He, in turn, loves her as completely, perhaps even more, than a human child. Things change when Martin comes out of his coma and back into the household.

David begins to question the feelings he has and his place in the world. He experiences emotions, but he is not real and, ultimately, a series of circumstances lead him to feel isolated from both the human and mechanical worlds he inhabits and he is forced to begin a journey. He meets a fellow “mecha”, Gigolo Joe (Jude Law), literally a “love machine” whose purpose is to provide pleasure to humans in various degrees of intimacy. Joe shows him some of the harsh reality that awaits his kind in the outside world that is both frightening and fantastic.

In many ways, David is a futuristic Pinocchio, desperately wanting to be real like the wooden puppet. In his journey, he searches for a way to make it so.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence

 

After numerous requests from Kate to take her to this movie I final gave in and headed to watch AI. AI is the new film from director Steven Spielberg and the project that he inherited from his friend, the late Stanley Kubrick who had been planning to make it for many years.

 

“Ummmm.. a Stanley Kubrick movie? The man who made Eyes Wide Shut. This is going to suck” I kept telling myself. But as I had dragged Kate to The fast and the furious and Cats and dogs trying to put up an argument for this movie was never going to happen. After getting a coffee and a large coke and combining the two I headed in to the movie full of disappointments.

 

The movie dragged ass for about the first 30 minutes and sometimes I was wondering ‘where is this going”. But them BOOOOOMMM…. the movie stepped up a gear and was developing into a worthwhile Sunday afternoon. The movie was filled with wonderful special effects which don’t blow you away but do make your believe what your watching. By the end of the movie – some 2 and half hours later – I felt that my concession ticket was well worth eight dollars and fifty cents. Whilst I will probably never watch this film again – it’s a once only deal – I’m glad I did. My recommendation is to go see this movie but don’t expect too much and just enjoy the adventure.

 

BreakDown:

 

A.I. is set in the future when the greenhouse effect has resulted in the melting of the polar ice caps and the submerging of many coastal cities. Intelligent machines that perform a variety of functions have been created to help humanity survive. Now, as these machines live side by side with humans who treat them like slaves, society has been divided into two groups: those that belong to the “mecha” (robots) and those who comprise the “orga” (human or organic).

Into this world comes David Swinton (a staggeringly good Haley Joel Osment), a unique robotic boy who is the first android that has been programmed to feel love and to become an emotional member of a human group. The Swinton family comprises Monica (Australian actress, Frances O’Connor), Henry (Sam Robards) and their human son, Martin (Jake Thomas) who is in a coma and not expected to recover. David has been created to fill the gap. After a period of rejection followed by uncertainty, Monica takes the final, irreversible step in which she accepts David as her son. He, in turn, loves her as completely, perhaps even more, than a human child. Things change when Martin comes out of his coma and back into the household.

David begins to question the feelings he has and his place in the world. He experiences emotions, but he is not real and, ultimately, a series of circumstances lead him to feel isolated from both the human and mechanical worlds he inhabits and he is forced to begin a journey. He meets a fellow “mecha”, Gigolo Joe (Jude Law), literally a “love machine” whose purpose is to provide pleasure to humans in various degrees of intimacy. Joe shows him some of the harsh reality that awaits his kind in the outside world that is both frightening and fantastic.

In many ways, David is a futuristic Pinocchio, desperately wanting to be real like the wooden puppet. In his journey, he searches for a way to make it so.

Vrrrooooom, Vrrooooomm. Get in, strap on and get ready to go. That is all that you need to know about Fast and the Furious. With an assortment of typical characters, fast action and a whole lot of fun this movie film delivers where most big action films don't anymore. No pretensions, no bullshit just a good time.

Fast and the Furious may as well be called Point Break 2, as the only thing that is different is that cars are substituted for surfboards and Keanu is not present to deliver his usual "WHOA!!!". The story though, is somewhat more realistic and certainly not as corny. A young cop is sent undercover in the underground scene of racing souped up Japanese cars to find out who is behind a recent series of truck high jackings. Along the way he of course becomes friends with people who don't know his true identity and falls in love with the one of the beutiful girls within the group.

The characters, for the most part, are the usual fare of rag tag misfits you see in these films, although the very imposing Vin Diesel can't help but stick out from the rest of the cast. The real stars of the film though, are of course the cars that feed us with an assortment of fast races and amazing stunts.

Fast and the Furious is fast and it's furious. Hopefully our mindless entertainment will follow the path of this film, and not continue to follow the pointless crap of movie like Tomb Raider and Pearl Harbor.

 
One of the hot chicks and awesome machines

IT'S HERE

The movie event of the year has arrived, and this epic tale of good vs. evil does not fail to impress. Joining the great movies of Hollywood past, Cats & Dogs manages to succeed in showing the world that good will always triumph over evil, and the hero will always be the one we least expect, rising from anonymity to save the world.

Cats & Dogs is about the eternal struggle between man's best friend and the feisty felines of the world, one that reaches far beyond one's imagination. Lead by the dastardly Mr Tinkles, whose evil rivals the greatest of movie villians and perhaps even surpasses them (is there any reason for the remaining Star Wars films showing us the rise of Darth Vader? He seems like a pussy now, next to the wickedness of Mr Tinkles), whose goal is to, of course, take over the world. The only thing stopping him is  the valiant effort of the great canines of the world. This includes the young pup Lou, who is mistakingly thrown into the under cover world of superagents. Like most heroes, he starts from humble beginnings but soon is on his way to becoming one of the greatest heroes in motion picture history (watch out Luke Skywalker).

Also along for the ride are an assortment of dog secret agents and super villian cats, who all offer us a great perspective on those who fight in the name of good and those who act for their own selfish purposes.

The dogs clearly represent those who are good in the world and the cats the opposite. This movie can easily be looked upon as a real life reference to similar events in the world today and in the past. You could easily have shown this movie in WWII, with the dogs showing us the allies of the world and the cats the evil nazis. Look beyond the fact that these are animals and notice that this film is perhaps one of the greatest critical looks at society we have ever seen.

Cats & Dogs easily joins the ranks of the great epics in movie history, fitting in along side such classics as Star Wars, Lawrence of Arabia and Gone With the Wind. This movie also puts end to any debate over whether cats are better than dogs. They are not.

Note: Clinton Cherry still thinks the cats will win.

Vrrrooooom, Vrrooooomm. Get in, strap on and get ready to go. That is all that you need to know about Fast and the Furious. With an assortment of typical characters, fast action and a whole lot of fun this movie film delivers where most big action films don't anymore. No pretensions, no bullshit just a good time.

Fast and the Furious may as well be called Point Break 2, as the only thing that is different is that cars are substituted for surfboards and Keanu is not present to deliver his usual "WHOA!!!". The story though, is somewhat more realistic and certainly not as corny. A young cop is sent undercover in the underground scene of racing souped up Japanese cars to find out who is behind a recent series of truck high jackings. Along the way he of course becomes friends with people who don't know his true identity and falls in love with the one of the beutiful girls within the group.

The characters, for the most part, are the usual fare of rag tag misfits you see in these films, although the very imposing Vin Diesel can't help but stick out from the rest of the cast. The real stars of the film though, are of course the cars that feed us with an assortment of fast races and amazing stunts.

Fast and the Furious is fast and it's furious. Hopefully our mindless entertainment will follow the path of this film, and not continue to follow the pointless crap of movie like Tomb Raider and Pearl Harbor.

 
One of the hot chicks and awesome machines

IT'S HERE

The movie event of the year has arrived, and this epic tale of good vs. evil does not fail to impress. Joining the great movies of Hollywood past, Cats & Dogs manages to succeed in showing the world that good will always triumph over evil, and the hero will always be the one we least expect, rising from anonymity to save the world.

Cats & Dogs is about the eternal struggle between man's best friend and the feisty felines of the world, one that reaches far beyond one's imagination. Lead by the dastardly Mr Tinkles, whose evil rivals the greatest of movie villians and perhaps even surpasses them (is there any reason for the remaining Star Wars films showing us the rise of Darth Vader? He seems like a pussy now, next to the wickedness of Mr Tinkles), whose goal is to, of course, take over the world. The only thing stopping him is  the valiant effort of the great canines of the world. This includes the young pup Lou, who is mistakingly thrown into the under cover world of superagents. Like most heroes, he starts from humble beginnings but soon is on his way to becoming one of the greatest heroes in motion picture history (watch out Luke Skywalker).

Also along for the ride are an assortment of dog secret agents and super villian cats, who all offer us a great perspective on those who fight in the name of good and those who act for their own selfish purposes.

The dogs clearly represent those who are good in the world and the cats the opposite. This movie can easily be looked upon as a real life reference to similar events in the world today and in the past. You could easily have shown this movie in WWII, with the dogs showing us the allies of the world and the cats the evil nazis. Look beyond the fact that these are animals and notice that this film is perhaps one of the greatest critical looks at society we have ever seen.

Cats & Dogs easily joins the ranks of the great epics in movie history, fitting in along side such classics as Star Wars, Lawrence of Arabia and Gone With the Wind. This movie also puts end to any debate over whether cats are better than dogs. They are not.

Note: Clinton Cherry still thinks the cats will win.

Hollywood hottie Kirsten Dunst improves with every flick she does and really impresses in this high school flick. She stars as Kelly some dudes younger sister who is in a play. Another dude (Berke) in the play is really hung up on some ex-girlfriend who dumped him for a backstreet boy kinda guy. For some dumb ass reason Berke is too stupid to realise that this other hottie (Dunst) is after him and goes into a high school musical play of "Summer Nights Dream" to woo back his ex. So the movie goes with Dunst chasing this dude and him chasing his ex who is chasing backdoor man.

The movie is funny and enjoyable with some good rounded characters, from the theatre arts teacher through to little Steve. There are some interesting cameos from Cisco through to Vitamin C (who I reckon is also pretty hot).

If you like high school movies watch this. It is definitely better than some movies of late, and heaps better than movies like "Dude! Wheres my Car?" which have tried to fill the recent teen comedy slot. And besides Kirsten Dunst wears a bikini which is reason enough...

If you didn't like this review then go read Jean's Review...

 

The Tailor of Panama is not your conventional spy flick. First off, it stars Pierce Brosnan as a sleazy spy who works for MI-6 (the same employers for James Bond) who could be the evil twin brother of screen icon 007. Secondly, the title character played by Geoffrey Rush is an unusual character to have control the events of the movie, after all he is a tailor.

Andy Osnard (Brosnan) is a disgraced spy who is sent off to Panama, after one too many indiscretions, to dwelve into the undergoings of the local people and government. Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the film is when being told about the abundent corruption, Osnard merely replies "really", with a sly smirk that tells us within the first scene what this character is all about. He targets Harry Pendel (Rush) the famous tailor of Panama, who tends to all the high people of the country (including the President), to help find out any valuable information. Little does he know that Harry has an extremely creative imagination, and the stories that are given continue to escalate to the point of an almost near international crisis.

The thing that makes this movie different from other spy movies is that this could easily have been a comedy (Bill Murray would have been perfect as the tailor), but is not. Although several of the performances seem over the top at times, the story moves along  taking it self seriously, which showcases these characters as being in over their head. Overall, The Tailor Of Panama gives us a different look at the spy genre, although it can get a bit confusing at times, but what spy films don't?

Hollywood hottie Kirsten Dunst improves with every flick she does and really impresses in this high school flick. She stars as Kelly some dudes younger sister who is in a play. Another dude (Berke) in the play is really hung up on some ex-girlfriend who dumped him for a backstreet boy kinda guy. For some dumb ass reason Berke is too stupid to realise that this other hottie (Dunst) is after him and goes into a high school musical play of "Summer Nights Dream" to woo back his ex. So the movie goes with Dunst chasing this dude and him chasing his ex who is chasing backdoor man.

The movie is funny and enjoyable with some good rounded characters, from the theatre arts teacher through to little Steve. There are some interesting cameos from Cisco through to Vitamin C (who I reckon is also pretty hot).

If you like high school movies watch this. It is definitely better than some movies of late, and heaps better than movies like "Dude! Wheres my Car?" which have tried to fill the recent teen comedy slot. And besides Kirsten Dunst wears a bikini which is reason enough...

If you didn't like this review then go read Jean's Review...

 

The Tailor of Panama is not your conventional spy flick. First off, it stars Pierce Brosnan as a sleazy spy who works for MI-6 (the same employers for James Bond) who could be the evil twin brother of screen icon 007. Secondly, the title character played by Geoffrey Rush is an unusual character to have control the events of the movie, after all he is a tailor.

Andy Osnard (Brosnan) is a disgraced spy who is sent off to Panama, after one too many indiscretions, to dwelve into the undergoings of the local people and government. Perhaps the most enjoyable part of the film is when being told about the abundent corruption, Osnard merely replies "really", with a sly smirk that tells us within the first scene what this character is all about. He targets Harry Pendel (Rush) the famous tailor of Panama, who tends to all the high people of the country (including the President), to help find out any valuable information. Little does he know that Harry has an extremely creative imagination, and the stories that are given continue to escalate to the point of an almost near international crisis.

The thing that makes this movie different from other spy movies is that this could easily have been a comedy (Bill Murray would have been perfect as the tailor), but is not. Although several of the performances seem over the top at times, the story moves along  taking it self seriously, which showcases these characters as being in over their head. Overall, The Tailor Of Panama gives us a different look at the spy genre, although it can get a bit confusing at times, but what spy films don't?

Bring It Out, I mean Get It On, ummm Get On Down, or is that Get It Up? Kristen Dunst is setting herself up as the  Molly Ringwald for the new millenium after starring in another similarly themed (and titled, after her last film, Bring It On) teenage movie. This one follows the exploits of Berke who is trying to do anything possible to get back his girlfriend, who has recently taken up with a very annoying teen popstar with a "you need a punch in the face" pommy accent. Kelly (Dunst) obviously has the hots for Berke but of course he does not realise it until the end of the movie. Pretty standard teen fare, but as I am a sucker for "pretty standard teen fare" I actually enjoyed this film which has its share of zany antics. "Why does it have to be zany?" you say, because that is the only thing that saves these movies (which are still copying the immortal John Hughes movies to this day) that  use the same story from film to film ie someone likes someone but they dont realise because they like someone better who is infinately cooler but then they realise that the person that likes them is actually really cool after they get a new haircut (that was confusing on purpose). As usual, zany saves the day, god bless zany.

 

Overall, Get Down With It With Your Bad Self is a typical example of the teen genre, most probably will think it is recycled crap though. The characters do not particuarly stand out though except for Dunst, although we have seen her do it before and Martin Short who plays the theatre teacher who has an obvious taste for young men (In his best role perhaps since Three Amigos). If you don't like mindless teen comedies, stay clear away, but if you do, its worth a look, and you will probably stand in the aisles yelling "get it up Sisqo" during the final dance number.

Going into this movie, one thinks that this movie is going to be a scary romantic/thriller. Watching this movie for the first three quarters one thinks they are watching a romantic/thriller. At the end of the movie one thinks they have wasted their time watching this romantic/non-thriller. Angel Eyes consistently sets up itself, through the tone of the film, as a thriller, but in the end all we are treated to is a pathetic excuse for the two leads to say "I Love You" to each other at the films climax.

During this movie we are treated to family problems that are there obviously to fill out the movie and an annoying mystery that is easily solved within the first few minutes (although the film makers obviously did not think so). I also treated myself to a good nose pick.

The only occasional bright spot of the film was the aloof performance of Jim Caviezal, which is interesting at first, but becomes tiresome after the entire movie. Another bright spot was the aforementioned nose pick, it's a shame you weren't at the same screening I was to bear witness to it. Do yourself a favour, do not see this movie, unless you like pathetic excuses for a romantic movie or you just want to see Jennifer Lopez's butt for 102 excruciating minutes.

The "summer of shit" continues. This movie has no redeeming features except for the fabulous make up done by effects legend Rick Baker. Tim Burton has delivered us a movie with no story and worse yet, his distinctive style that is so evident in his other films does not seem to shine through in this pathetic attempt at remaking a classic movie (or as they claim - a "reimagining"). The acting by all the human characters is very bland and wooden (Marky Mark should have worn his baggy pants with jocks hanging out to stand out more and Estella Warren looks great but offers nothing else) and the ape actors do not offer too much more (particuarly the excessive over acting of the unrecognisable Tim Roth).

  "yes, they have no bananas"

 

This movie does not compare to the great original version with good 'ol Chuck Heston (look out for his cameo), particuarly  the ending, which was obviously done only for the purpose of trying to outdo the originals highly inventive climax, which just makes you go "huh". This movie would have been a whole lot better with breakdancing chimpanzees. Watch the original.

 

Bring It Out, I mean Get It On, ummm Get On Down, or is that Get It Up? Kristen Dunst is setting herself up as the  Molly Ringwald for the new millenium after starring in another similarly themed (and titled, after her last film, Bring It On) teenage movie. This one follows the exploits of Berke who is trying to do anything possible to get back his girlfriend, who has recently taken up with a very annoying teen popstar with a "you need a punch in the face" pommy accent. Kelly (Dunst) obviously has the hots for Berke but of course he does not realise it until the end of the movie. Pretty standard teen fare, but as I am a sucker for "pretty standard teen fare" I actually enjoyed this film which has its share of zany antics. "Why does it have to be zany?" you say, because that is the only thing that saves these movies (which are still copying the immortal John Hughes movies to this day) that  use the same story from film to film ie someone likes someone but they dont realise because they like someone better who is infinately cooler but then they realise that the person that likes them is actually really cool after they get a new haircut (that was confusing on purpose). As usual, zany saves the day, god bless zany.

 

Overall, Get Down With It With Your Bad Self is a typical example of the teen genre, most probably will think it is recycled crap though. The characters do not particuarly stand out though except for Dunst, although we have seen her do it before and Martin Short who plays the theatre teacher who has an obvious taste for young men (In his best role perhaps since Three Amigos). If you don't like mindless teen comedies, stay clear away, but if you do, its worth a look, and you will probably stand in the aisles yelling "get it up Sisqo" during the final dance number.

Going into this movie, one thinks that this movie is going to be a scary romantic/thriller. Watching this movie for the first three quarters one thinks they are watching a romantic/thriller. At the end of the movie one thinks they have wasted their time watching this romantic/non-thriller. Angel Eyes consistently sets up itself, through the tone of the film, as a thriller, but in the end all we are treated to is a pathetic excuse for the two leads to say "I Love You" to each other at the films climax.

During this movie we are treated to family problems that are there obviously to fill out the movie and an annoying mystery that is easily solved within the first few minutes (although the film makers obviously did not think so). I also treated myself to a good nose pick.

The only occasional bright spot of the film was the aloof performance of Jim Caviezal, which is interesting at first, but becomes tiresome after the entire movie. Another bright spot was the aforementioned nose pick, it's a shame you weren't at the same screening I was to bear witness to it. Do yourself a favour, do not see this movie, unless you like pathetic excuses for a romantic movie or you just want to see Jennifer Lopez's butt for 102 excruciating minutes.

The "summer of shit" continues. This movie has no redeeming features except for the fabulous make up done by effects legend Rick Baker. Tim Burton has delivered us a movie with no story and worse yet, his distinctive style that is so evident in his other films does not seem to shine through in this pathetic attempt at remaking a classic movie (or as they claim - a "reimagining"). The acting by all the human characters is very bland and wooden (Marky Mark should have worn his baggy pants with jocks hanging out to stand out more and Estella Warren looks great but offers nothing else) and the ape actors do not offer too much more (particuarly the excessive over acting of the unrecognisable Tim Roth).

  "yes, they have no bananas"

 

This movie does not compare to the great original version with good 'ol Chuck Heston (look out for his cameo), particuarly  the ending, which was obviously done only for the purpose of trying to outdo the originals highly inventive climax, which just makes you go "huh". This movie would have been a whole lot better with breakdancing chimpanzees. Watch the original.

 

Sorry CC I cannot agree with your sparkling review of this film. Obviously you too are very much in love with Heath because all this film is is a vehicle to get the oestrogen flowing. They try to make him look all tough and macho by giving him a crappy fake beard to start with but the rest of the movie he's a fluffed up pretty boy. In my opinion the only worthy film he has made has been Two Hands so Heath if you want to regain any credibility in my eyes give Hollywood the flick and go back to making quality Aussie indie films mate.

Two things that were good about the movie though were the jousting scenes (made me want to get a pushbike, a stackhat, dustbin lid and a broom and knock the stuffing out of someone else with a pushbike and a broom. Anyone up for it this weekend?) and the chick who plays the love interest. Oh, and the support cast were pretty good as well.

Sorry CC I cannot agree with your sparkling review of this film. Obviously you too are very much in love with Heath because all this film is is a vehicle to get the oestrogen flowing. They try to make him look all tough and macho by giving him a crappy fake beard to start with but the rest of the movie he's a fluffed up pretty boy. In my opinion the only worthy film he has made has been Two Hands so Heath if you want to regain any credibility in my eyes give Hollywood the flick and go back to making quality Aussie indie films mate.

Two things that were good about the movie though were the jousting scenes (made me want to get a pushbike, a stackhat, dustbin lid and a broom and knock the stuffing out of someone else with a pushbike and a broom. Anyone up for it this weekend?) and the chick who plays the love interest. Oh, and the support cast were pretty good as well.

Days of Thunder for the new millenium. I was half expecting to see Tom Cruise pop out driving his Mello Yello race car during this film, but alas we are not treated to a crossover event. Sylvester Stallone returns to the big screen for the first time since Cop Land and we are pretty much treated to a racing car version of Rocky. The racing scenes are quite exciting and looking at Estella (Clints' new favourite chick) Warren  is equally exciting. What this movie lacks of course is a credible story (big surprise). The story  is the actual downfall of the film as it tries stuffing too much crap down your throat with marriage proposals, jealousy between drivers, washed up veterans etc, when it should accept what it is and ignore plot altogether and just go for action, action, action.

The characters are extremely bland and it is quite funny to see the many muscly European drivers that could have easily been replaced with VanDamme and Dolph Lundgren. Stallone, as usual, is Stallone but with a somewhat more realistic approach to his now aging status as a cinema muscle man (he doesn't even take his shirt off). If you are a fan of Burt Reynolds, you may be disappointed with his inactivity in a wheel chair (for no apparent reason), but it is always fun to examine his new hair piece from film to film.

Director Renny Harlin (Cliffhanger, Deep Blue Sea) offers us nothing new here with action substituting for everything else, but if you just want a bit of fun and you like cars, this movie just may exceed your expectations.

Blow doesn't blow. It doesn't suck either. It is a damn good flick (my favourite of the year alongside Almost Famous). Johnny Depp cements himself as one of the true quality actors of today with his performance as upcoming drug dealer George Jung. The fat guy from Remember the Titans plays his mate, Tuna. There are plenty of crazed Colombian whackos as well. All based on a true story you'll be amazed at the absolute s#&%loads of money they rake in from coke(not the brown fizzy stuff). The only bad thing about it is Penelope Cruz. She has possibly the worst voice ever. Dunno what Tom sees in her.

Do yourself a favour and go see this movie.

Nurse Betty follows the exploits of the title character who is a crazed fan of her favourite medical soap opera. After witnessing the gruesome murder of her sleazy husband (at the hands of an odd couple of criminals, Chris Rock and Morgan Freeman who perform quite admirably together), Betty (played by Renee Zellweger, who won a Golden Globe for her performance), slips away from reality (into the shows) and treks cross country thinking that she is the long lost love of her favourite shows main character, played by Greg Kinnear. Her hopes are to find the love of her life and fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. On her tail are the two criminals who killed her husband, as well the odd citizens of her small country town.

Nurse Betty starts off well enough, but gets a little baffling  at times once she has reached her destination and meets her imaginary love, and through her regressed state seemingly ruins the lives of everyone she comes across. As usual, Freeman puts in a very credible performance as the retiring crook after his last big score who begins to take a very unusual interest in Betty. Rock, too, manages a fine turn in a different role than usual as a somewhat crazed but at times grounded character. In fact, Freeman and Rock manage to swap roles with each other as the voice of reason between the two as their bizarre journey progresses. Back To The Future fans should look out for the great performance by Crispin Glover, who played the father of Michael J Fox, George McFly.

Nurse Betty is an interesting viewing, showing us an interesting look at peoples obsessions and desires and the effect they can have on others and themselves. This is definately black humour. It's funny, but not ha-ha funny.

If you like crappy B grade slasher flicks that take themselves way too seriously, have totally unnessecary female nudity scenes and feature hunky guys from high school TV dramas, this movie is for you.

The Forsaken refers to the those in the film who have been infected after being bitten by a vampire. Yes, another vampire flick. The story follows the gay guy from Dawsons Creek who is travelling cross country to his sisters wedding and who along the way meets a mysterious hitch hiker (one of the guys from Roswell, the most popular show in its 4:20am timeslot) who knows a little too much about the condition of a stumbling, mumbling babe they pick up on the street, whose main contribution is not speaking for two thirds of the movie and opening it with a nude shower scene covered in blood. Turns out she is fast becoming a vampire and the bad guys who turned her are chasing this merry threesome through the desert. Blah, blah, blah.

If you don't mind silly movies and are prepared to see one, you will get exactly what you expect out of this, a half decent mindless 90 minute adventure. Otherwise go watch The Lost Boys with the ultimate teenage heart throbs, the two Coreys.

Days of Thunder for the new millenium. I was half expecting to see Tom Cruise pop out driving his Mello Yello race car during this film, but alas we are not treated to a crossover event. Sylvester Stallone returns to the big screen for the first time since Cop Land and we are pretty much treated to a racing car version of Rocky. The racing scenes are quite exciting and looking at Estella (Clints' new favourite chick) Warren  is equally exciting. What this movie lacks of course is a credible story (big surprise). The story  is the actual downfall of the film as it tries stuffing too much crap down your throat with marriage proposals, jealousy between drivers, washed up veterans etc, when it should accept what it is and ignore plot altogether and just go for action, action, action.

The characters are extremely bland and it is quite funny to see the many muscly European drivers that could have easily been replaced with VanDamme and Dolph Lundgren. Stallone, as usual, is Stallone but with a somewhat more realistic approach to his now aging status as a cinema muscle man (he doesn't even take his shirt off). If you are a fan of Burt Reynolds, you may be disappointed with his inactivity in a wheel chair (for no apparent reason), but it is always fun to examine his new hair piece from film to film.

Director Renny Harlin (Cliffhanger, Deep Blue Sea) offers us nothing new here with action substituting for everything else, but if you just want a bit of fun and you like cars, this movie just may exceed your expectations.

Blow doesn't blow. It doesn't suck either. It is a damn good flick (my favourite of the year alongside Almost Famous). Johnny Depp cements himself as one of the true quality actors of today with his performance as upcoming drug dealer George Jung. The fat guy from Remember the Titans plays his mate, Tuna. There are plenty of crazed Colombian whackos as well. All based on a true story you'll be amazed at the absolute s#&%loads of money they rake in from coke(not the brown fizzy stuff). The only bad thing about it is Penelope Cruz. She has possibly the worst voice ever. Dunno what Tom sees in her.

Do yourself a favour and go see this movie.

Nurse Betty follows the exploits of the title character who is a crazed fan of her favourite medical soap opera. After witnessing the gruesome murder of her sleazy husband (at the hands of an odd couple of criminals, Chris Rock and Morgan Freeman who perform quite admirably together), Betty (played by Renee Zellweger, who won a Golden Globe for her performance), slips away from reality (into the shows) and treks cross country thinking that she is the long lost love of her favourite shows main character, played by Greg Kinnear. Her hopes are to find the love of her life and fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse. On her tail are the two criminals who killed her husband, as well the odd citizens of her small country town.

Nurse Betty starts off well enough, but gets a little baffling  at times once she has reached her destination and meets her imaginary love, and through her regressed state seemingly ruins the lives of everyone she comes across. As usual, Freeman puts in a very credible performance as the retiring crook after his last big score who begins to take a very unusual interest in Betty. Rock, too, manages a fine turn in a different role than usual as a somewhat crazed but at times grounded character. In fact, Freeman and Rock manage to swap roles with each other as the voice of reason between the two as their bizarre journey progresses. Back To The Future fans should look out for the great performance by Crispin Glover, who played the father of Michael J Fox, George McFly.

Nurse Betty is an interesting viewing, showing us an interesting look at peoples obsessions and desires and the effect they can have on others and themselves. This is definately black humour. It's funny, but not ha-ha funny.

If you like crappy B grade slasher flicks that take themselves way too seriously, have totally unnessecary female nudity scenes and feature hunky guys from high school TV dramas, this movie is for you.

The Forsaken refers to the those in the film who have been infected after being bitten by a vampire. Yes, another vampire flick. The story follows the gay guy from Dawsons Creek who is travelling cross country to his sisters wedding and who along the way meets a mysterious hitch hiker (one of the guys from Roswell, the most popular show in its 4:20am timeslot) who knows a little too much about the condition of a stumbling, mumbling babe they pick up on the street, whose main contribution is not speaking for two thirds of the movie and opening it with a nude shower scene covered in blood. Turns out she is fast becoming a vampire and the bad guys who turned her are chasing this merry threesome through the desert. Blah, blah, blah.

If you don't mind silly movies and are prepared to see one, you will get exactly what you expect out of this, a half decent mindless 90 minute adventure. Otherwise go watch The Lost Boys with the ultimate teenage heart throbs, the two Coreys.

I enjoyed Tim Burton's latest offering of the Apes genre. An interesting action movie set in another world where apes are the dominant race. Marky Mark delivers again, and is supported well by the beautiful Estella Warren. Not a bad ending, although it is hard for me to comment on how this compares to the original having not seen it.

Worth watching for something a little different, however lacks in some areas such as character development, and perhaps a little short on story. It would have also been good if the apes ate more doughnuts. Unfortunately the pictured ape was cut from the final movie. Expect a directors cut on DVD early next year.

This is the beautiful Estella Warren. She isn't wearing these clothes in the movie though...

 

Genre
Sci-Fi Adventure
Length
92 minutes
Main Cast
Sam Neill, Tea Leoni, William H Macy, Michael Jeter, Laura Dern
Director
Joe Johnston
Official Homepage
Jurassic Park III

Review

Forget a story line......Forget a deep well thought out plot......forget character development.....This movie is basically dinasours eating people and a whole lot of action thrown in to boot.

The movie only screens for 90 minutes but it is 90 minutes of fast paced non stop carnage. Almost the best movie of the series but is let down with a very plain ending and could have done with a few more human snacks. Otherwise, this is a must see movie of the winter and as Jean Pazin puts it "this movie has resotred my faith in big blockbuster movies".

This movies rocks.... 4/5

Trailer
http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/jurassic_park_3/index.html

Also Try
Jurassic Park 1+2
Indiana Jones 1+2+3
Die Hard 3

 

 

 

 

 

Probably the best movie I have seen in recent months. Perth's own Heath Ledger delivers a convincing performance as a Peasant turned Knight, who while trying to become the greatest knight in the country also trys to win the heart of a young lady.

This comedy fun movie combines a modern soundtrack with a sport typed genre with a slice of romance.

I enjoyed Tim Burton's latest offering of the Apes genre. An interesting action movie set in another world where apes are the dominant race. Marky Mark delivers again, and is supported well by the beautiful Estella Warren. Not a bad ending, although it is hard for me to comment on how this compares to the original having not seen it.

Worth watching for something a little different, however lacks in some areas such as character development, and perhaps a little short on story. It would have also been good if the apes ate more doughnuts. Unfortunately the pictured ape was cut from the final movie. Expect a directors cut on DVD early next year.

This is the beautiful Estella Warren. She isn't wearing these clothes in the movie though...

 

Genre
Sci-Fi Adventure
Length
92 minutes
Main Cast
Sam Neill, Tea Leoni, William H Macy, Michael Jeter, Laura Dern
Director
Joe Johnston
Official Homepage
Jurassic Park III

Review

Forget a story line......Forget a deep well thought out plot......forget character development.....This movie is basically dinasours eating people and a whole lot of action thrown in to boot.

The movie only screens for 90 minutes but it is 90 minutes of fast paced non stop carnage. Almost the best movie of the series but is let down with a very plain ending and could have done with a few more human snacks. Otherwise, this is a must see movie of the winter and as Jean Pazin puts it "this movie has resotred my faith in big blockbuster movies".

This movies rocks.... 4/5

Trailer
http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/jurassic_park_3/index.html

Also Try
Jurassic Park 1+2
Indiana Jones 1+2+3
Die Hard 3

 

 

 

 

 

Probably the best movie I have seen in recent months. Perth's own Heath Ledger delivers a convincing performance as a Peasant turned Knight, who while trying to become the greatest knight in the country also trys to win the heart of a young lady.

This comedy fun movie combines a modern soundtrack with a sport typed genre with a slice of romance.

I gave this movie 1 star only cause I can't rate with anything less. This movie starts promising then about 30 minutes in becomes utterly ridiculous. The story attempts to have some twists which don't really make sense, and the whole story is full with flaws.

Unless you are stupid or really bored avoid this movie at all costs.

Jean Says: Read the book.

I gave this movie 1 star only cause I can't rate with anything less. This movie starts promising then about 30 minutes in becomes utterly ridiculous. The story attempts to have some twists which don't really make sense, and the whole story is full with flaws.

Unless you are stupid or really bored avoid this movie at all costs.

Jean Says: Read the book.