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More to be announced (hopefully).

No doubt alot of you read this article that came out earlier this year, so after an arguement with Age (yet again) I wanted to prove that this article was in fact real, and found it below from Yahoo.

No doubt Age is just angry that someone else beat him to time travel first...

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.
"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."
Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.

Oh yea, and if you are interested in time travel, check out this article I found out on travelling through time here...

THRILLED BY ENGLAND'S consolation victory over Australia in the final Ashes test in Sydney, BBC Radio 4 were keen to talk to one of the triumphant players - wicket keeper Alec Stewart.

"How are you Alec?" interviewer Gary Richardson inquired by telephone from London. "It was a very good way to finish."

"Yeah, it was tremendous," came the reply in a voice that sounded nothing like the veteran Surrey star. Richardson: "Have you learned from this, you and the England team?"

Reply: "Australia are a bloody good team."

Richardson: "Absolutely. And now the World Cup - are you looking forward to that?"

Reply: "Yeah, we think we're up for it now."

Richardson: "Alec, many thanks for coming on the program."

While listeners were curious that the interview with "Stewart" didn't last very long, Richardson knew he had to cut it short.

"It very quickly became obvious that I wasn't speaking to Alec Stewart," he said after the show. "I just had to terminate the interview as quickly as possible."

The BBC said that program staff were given the wrong number for Stewart and the Australian who received the call had convinced them he was the player. What a top aussie.

I am about to embark on my own world tour. I will endeavour to provide my valued fans with many meaningful events including how drunk I get, how I forget to get home, talking about people whom you have absolutely no idea about, what I eat for breakfast each morning and many other things that you would conceivably have no interest in knowing about. Unfortunately, there will be no accounts on opening a new bank account as I will have no time to embark on that exciting adventure.

An original article by Jean Pazin.:

Happy Happy Joy Joy.   ''Ren & Stimpy'' is resurrected. Creator John Kricfalusi will revive the pioneering animated gross-out show for TNN by Gary Susman.

LINES REDRAWN Ren and Stimpy will be back on TNN Judging by what passes for prime-time entertainment on a typical episode of ''Fear Factor'' or ''Dog Eat Dog,'' the early-'90s gross-out cartoon series ''Ren & Stimpy'' was a decade ahead of its time. Now, according to the Hollywood Reporter, the show is coming back to TV with all new episodes written by John Kricfalusi, the animator who created the series only to be ousted from it after a dispute with kiddie channel Nickelodeon. The series will debut in the spring on TNN, as part of that network's new adult animation block. Viacom, parent company of TNN, Nickelodeon, and MTV, wrested control of ''Ren & Stimpy'' from Kricfalusi during its second season on Nickelodeon in 1992. The show aired for three more seasons without him on Nickelodeon and MTV. In 1995, he filed a $100 million copyright infringement suit against the media giant, whose out-of-court settlement left Viacom owning the rights to the hot-tempered chihuahua Ren and naive cat Stimpy. But with TNN planning a block of adult-oriented toons for next spring -- including clothes-doffing superheroine ''Stripperella'' (voiced by Pamela Anderson) and lawyer-turned-rodent ''Gary the Rat'' (voiced by Kelsey Grammer) -- the network apparently felt ''Ren'' was a natural fit, and so was Kricfalusi. The animator says he and most of his original writers and artists are returning. ''The whole gang is back. It's just like the old days -- only ruder!'' he tells the Reporter. He notes that the show can be more mature now, if that's the right way to describe a series involving snot and hairballs. ''It's going to evolve, and honestly, everybody can draw better now,'' Kricfalusi says. The series will premiere next spring with all 52 original episodes, followed by six new ones. TNN may also commission a full-length ''Ren & Stimpy'' TV movie.

Pop princess absolute total hottie Britney Spears has signed a deal with the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) to star in a feature film about - you guessed it - car racing. The sexy star made her big screen debut in Crossroads earlier this year (which I can't believe I still haven't seen), which was met with moderate box office success and reviews (but I am sure will do well on DVD...). Britney will use her new company, Britney Spears Productions, to produce the movie. She'll play the daughter of a NASCAR team owner who inspires a retired driver to return to the fast sport. NASCAR officials said yesterday Britney would not be singing in the flick, as she did in Crossroads when she played an aspiring singer (yes, highly orginal plot). Producer Ann Carli, who also produced Crossroads, says, "It is not just about winning - it's about family, perseverance and the belief that any dream is possible." I personally thing this movie, with such a brilliant and highly original plot, along with Hollywoods latest star can't go wrong... (but then even Italy was knocked out of the World Cup)

One of the founding members of The Ramones has died of a suspected drug over dose in his home in Hollwood. This comes after the death of the bands lead singer, Joey Ramone, just last year. Dee Dee was the bass player for the band that were truly the innovators of the punk rock scene but were never able to recieve any type of success throughout the years (this was instead taken by the Sex Pistols, who many mistake as being the original punk rockers but were nothing more than a fukked up product (ie Spice Girls) created to cause a scene). The Ramones played real punk music, not the crap that has now become the new music for teenage girls (Blink 182).

George Lucas, sometimes accused of reinforcing racial stereotypes with his movies, has done it again, according to critics.
   Latino critics in particular charge his latest Star Wars epic, Episode II: Attack of the Clones, toys with American paranoia about Mexican immigration with its cloned army of swarthy lookalikes who march in lockstep by the tens of thousands, and ultimately end up serving as Darth Vader's white-suited warriors.
   Modeled on bounty hunter Jango Fett, the clones, we're told, are genetically modified for docility and obedience. The breeding project, conducted by long-necked aliens who look like refugees from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, takes place on the planet Kamino -- soundalike for the Spanish word "camino," which means "road" or "I walk."
   Temuera Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is a New Zealander of Maori descent. But that didn't get in the way of some members of an eight-person Detroit News panel assembled to review the film.
   "He looked totally Latino," says Martina Guzman, a Detroiter who's managing a State House election campaign.
   "And his kid," says Wayne State history professor Jose Cuello, referring to the young Boba Fett, "looked even more Latino."
   It reminds Cuello a little bit of "those Reagan ads in the 1980 campaign, that suggested if Nicaragua went communist, you'd have wild-eyed Mexicans with guns running across the California border."
   A flabbergasted Lucasfilm spokeswoman, Jeanne Cole, says "This is the first we've heard of this. Star Wars," she says, "is a fantasy movie filled with creatures and aliens from all different planets and universes and galaxies. There is no basis for this."
   Lucas was in Cannes and could not be reached for comment.
   The celebrated mythmaker has been through what some might call the p.c. mill before.
   In 1999, a furor erupted over The Phantom Menace's Jar Jar Binks, a floppy-eared alien whom some read as a sort of Stepin Fetchit by way of the West Indies.
   "Everyone I've ever spoken to says there's a Rastafarian element to his speech, his walk, and in his 'dread' ears," says copy editor Robert del Valle, who was on The News panel with Guzman and Cuello.
   But such allegations were dismissed as "absurd" by Lucas in a Thursday interview published in the Washington Post. "People say, 'He sounds Caribbean.' Well, he doesn't. He's a complete invention. It's a different language. Just because he speaks with that accent doesn't mean it's a racial stereotype."
   The interview did not address the clone issue.
   A somewhat muted Jar Jar makes another appearance in Clones, but it is the dark-skinned Jango-copies that seem to have caught some audience members' attention this time around.
   Still, not everybody's buying it.
   Harry Knowles, on-line film reviewer and author of Ain't It Cool: Hollywood's Red-Headed Step-Child Speaks Out (Time Warner), says the whole Jango ethnic premise is "reading racism into something that's not there -- it's just in the minds of the viewers. It's like calling Jar Jar racist when all he is is Bullwinkle."
   The Jango dispute surfaced in internet chat rooms devoted to Star Wars days before the movie's release, says panelist Gary Anderson, the artistic director at Detroit's Plowshares Theatre and longtime Star Wars student and critic.
   If the planet name "Kamino" caught some Latinos' attention, three Arab-Americans on The News' panel seized on the fact that Jango's son calls him "Baba."
   "I frankly think the bounty hunter is Arab," says college counselor Imad Nouri of Royal Oak.
   "He's basically a terrorist," explains Nouri, "and 'baba' is Arabic for 'father.' "
   Such allegations have a long history in that galaxy far, far away. A number of observers noted that the 1977 original was, at least at the human level, an all-white party -- looking, in Anderson's words, "like the Ku Klux Klan's fantasy of the future."
   The only exception was Darth Vader's basso-profundo voice, supplied by African-American actor James Earl Jones.
   Which leads to all sorts of ironies, intentional or not: Darth Vader has a black man's voice when he's bad, but in Clones -- before Anakin Skywalker does the Darth-thing and defects to the Dark Side -- he's a white guy, played by Hayden Christensen.
   The big question lurking beneath all this ethnic deconstruction: Could any of this possibly be deliberate?
   For their part, The News' panelists were divided.
   "The plot is so superficial," says Cuello, "I don't think they could possibly have any deliberate intent about manipulating images."
   Like almost everybody who commented on Lucas, Anderson doubts there's anything malicious going on.
   "If your entire world perspective is based on 1950s TV and films, what do you expect?" he asks. "Garbage in and garbage out."
   For her part, Guzman was astonished that, given the Jar Jar flap, Lucas didn't scrutinize everything a little more critically this time around. "He's been criticized before," she says. "So he had a choice."
   It's not that she's opposed to Latin-looking baddies per se. She just wishes the occasional swarthy good guy would get as much on-screen time as the villain.
   "Jimmy Smits had all of two lines in the whole movie," Guzman says. "And Samuel Jackson had like five. Then there's the bad guy."
   For pop-culture professor Robert Thompson at Syracuse University -- who has yet to see Clones -- the issue boils down to whether Lucas really wanted to tweak Anglo fears.
   He's inclined to say no, attributing Lucas' occasionally confusing choices to "a certain degree of cluelessness. Look at Jar Jar Binks. The moment that guy comes on the screen, you wonder what in the world they were thinking. This isn't 1957. Didn't anybody say, 'Have you paid attention to what this guy is doing?' "
   The sad thing, he says, is that the Star Wars saga is also "about tolerance and dignity. But then you've got this 'camino' thing, which sounds a little creepy, and swarthy people who march in uncountable masses."
   Thompson calls the imagery in Star Wars a "great big Rorschach test, not just for the people who watch the movies, but for Lucas himself." With the latter, that leads him to two possibilities.
   "One is that this is coming out of the id of the creator without translation -- a West Coast fear of the Latino population in America." (Lucas grew in the 1950s in Modesto, Calif., the agricultural town immortalized in American Graffiti, and one visited annually by thousands of migrant workers.)
   The second hypothesis, he notes, is that it's all deliberate -- a way to prompt deep emotional response in audiences by probing "a phobia that's afoot in America. And that's the scarier interpretation."
   Or, as some argue, perhaps it's all stuff and nonsense.
   Knowles at aintitcool.com keeps emphasizing on the fact that Temeura Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is Maori.
   When asked how audiences are supposed to know that, he says, "How can you tell? You stay for the end credits. Is his name 'Raul Julia?' No."
   But even if Jango was meant to be taken as a Latino, others just don't see a problem.
   "At least we're in the picture," says Hollywood producer Michael Gonzalez with a laugh.
   "I mean, what did we have before -- Lt. Torres on Star Trek? It's just a movie," he says. "It's just fun. And you're going to hit a stereotype one way or another. At least we get some screen time."
   In any event, Guzman doubts most Hispanics will notice, if only "because they're so used to seeing images like that of themselves -- little dialogue, always being the bad guy. It's going to take the intellectual community to call Lucas on what he's doing."
   Latinos are now the nation's largest minority. But box-office analyst Adam Farasati -- who argues Hollywood rarely takes minority concerns into consideration -- doesn't see any collateral damage to the film's profits.
   "The only real issue is that Attack of the Clones is one of most anticipated movies of all time," he says from RealSource's Los Angeles office.
   "And beyond that, any type of media attention -- even negative -- really just creates more hype for a film that has hype coming out its ears."

 

 

 

George Lucas, sometimes accused of reinforcing racial stereotypes with his movies, has done it again, according to critics.
   Latino critics in particular charge his latest Star Wars epic, Episode II: Attack of the Clones, toys with American paranoia about Mexican immigration with its cloned army of swarthy lookalikes who march in lockstep by the tens of thousands, and ultimately end up serving as Darth Vader's white-suited warriors.
   Modeled on bounty hunter Jango Fett, the clones, we're told, are genetically modified for docility and obedience. The breeding project, conducted by long-necked aliens who look like refugees from Close Encounters of the Third Kind, takes place on the planet Kamino -- soundalike for the Spanish word "camino," which means "road" or "I walk."
   Temuera Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is a New Zealander of Maori descent. But that didn't get in the way of some members of an eight-person Detroit News panel assembled to review the film.
   "He looked totally Latino," says Martina Guzman, a Detroiter who's managing a State House election campaign.
   "And his kid," says Wayne State history professor Jose Cuello, referring to the young Boba Fett, "looked even more Latino."
   It reminds Cuello a little bit of "those Reagan ads in the 1980 campaign, that suggested if Nicaragua went communist, you'd have wild-eyed Mexicans with guns running across the California border."
   A flabbergasted Lucasfilm spokeswoman, Jeanne Cole, says "This is the first we've heard of this. Star Wars," she says, "is a fantasy movie filled with creatures and aliens from all different planets and universes and galaxies. There is no basis for this."
   Lucas was in Cannes and could not be reached for comment.
   The celebrated mythmaker has been through what some might call the p.c. mill before.
   In 1999, a furor erupted over The Phantom Menace's Jar Jar Binks, a floppy-eared alien whom some read as a sort of Stepin Fetchit by way of the West Indies.
   "Everyone I've ever spoken to says there's a Rastafarian element to his speech, his walk, and in his 'dread' ears," says copy editor Robert del Valle, who was on The News panel with Guzman and Cuello.
   But such allegations were dismissed as "absurd" by Lucas in a Thursday interview published in the Washington Post. "People say, 'He sounds Caribbean.' Well, he doesn't. He's a complete invention. It's a different language. Just because he speaks with that accent doesn't mean it's a racial stereotype."
   The interview did not address the clone issue.
   A somewhat muted Jar Jar makes another appearance in Clones, but it is the dark-skinned Jango-copies that seem to have caught some audience members' attention this time around.
   Still, not everybody's buying it.
   Harry Knowles, on-line film reviewer and author of Ain't It Cool: Hollywood's Red-Headed Step-Child Speaks Out (Time Warner), says the whole Jango ethnic premise is "reading racism into something that's not there -- it's just in the minds of the viewers. It's like calling Jar Jar racist when all he is is Bullwinkle."
   The Jango dispute surfaced in internet chat rooms devoted to Star Wars days before the movie's release, says panelist Gary Anderson, the artistic director at Detroit's Plowshares Theatre and longtime Star Wars student and critic.
   If the planet name "Kamino" caught some Latinos' attention, three Arab-Americans on The News' panel seized on the fact that Jango's son calls him "Baba."
   "I frankly think the bounty hunter is Arab," says college counselor Imad Nouri of Royal Oak.
   "He's basically a terrorist," explains Nouri, "and 'baba' is Arabic for 'father.' "
   Such allegations have a long history in that galaxy far, far away. A number of observers noted that the 1977 original was, at least at the human level, an all-white party -- looking, in Anderson's words, "like the Ku Klux Klan's fantasy of the future."
   The only exception was Darth Vader's basso-profundo voice, supplied by African-American actor James Earl Jones.
   Which leads to all sorts of ironies, intentional or not: Darth Vader has a black man's voice when he's bad, but in Clones -- before Anakin Skywalker does the Darth-thing and defects to the Dark Side -- he's a white guy, played by Hayden Christensen.
   The big question lurking beneath all this ethnic deconstruction: Could any of this possibly be deliberate?
   For their part, The News' panelists were divided.
   "The plot is so superficial," says Cuello, "I don't think they could possibly have any deliberate intent about manipulating images."
   Like almost everybody who commented on Lucas, Anderson doubts there's anything malicious going on.
   "If your entire world perspective is based on 1950s TV and films, what do you expect?" he asks. "Garbage in and garbage out."
   For her part, Guzman was astonished that, given the Jar Jar flap, Lucas didn't scrutinize everything a little more critically this time around. "He's been criticized before," she says. "So he had a choice."
   It's not that she's opposed to Latin-looking baddies per se. She just wishes the occasional swarthy good guy would get as much on-screen time as the villain.
   "Jimmy Smits had all of two lines in the whole movie," Guzman says. "And Samuel Jackson had like five. Then there's the bad guy."
   For pop-culture professor Robert Thompson at Syracuse University -- who has yet to see Clones -- the issue boils down to whether Lucas really wanted to tweak Anglo fears.
   He's inclined to say no, attributing Lucas' occasionally confusing choices to "a certain degree of cluelessness. Look at Jar Jar Binks. The moment that guy comes on the screen, you wonder what in the world they were thinking. This isn't 1957. Didn't anybody say, 'Have you paid attention to what this guy is doing?' "
   The sad thing, he says, is that the Star Wars saga is also "about tolerance and dignity. But then you've got this 'camino' thing, which sounds a little creepy, and swarthy people who march in uncountable masses."
   Thompson calls the imagery in Star Wars a "great big Rorschach test, not just for the people who watch the movies, but for Lucas himself." With the latter, that leads him to two possibilities.
   "One is that this is coming out of the id of the creator without translation -- a West Coast fear of the Latino population in America." (Lucas grew in the 1950s in Modesto, Calif., the agricultural town immortalized in American Graffiti, and one visited annually by thousands of migrant workers.)
   The second hypothesis, he notes, is that it's all deliberate -- a way to prompt deep emotional response in audiences by probing "a phobia that's afoot in America. And that's the scarier interpretation."
   Or, as some argue, perhaps it's all stuff and nonsense.
   Knowles at aintitcool.com keeps emphasizing on the fact that Temeura Morrison, the actor who plays Jango, is Maori.
   When asked how audiences are supposed to know that, he says, "How can you tell? You stay for the end credits. Is his name 'Raul Julia?' No."
   But even if Jango was meant to be taken as a Latino, others just don't see a problem.
   "At least we're in the picture," says Hollywood producer Michael Gonzalez with a laugh.
   "I mean, what did we have before -- Lt. Torres on Star Trek? It's just a movie," he says. "It's just fun. And you're going to hit a stereotype one way or another. At least we get some screen time."
   In any event, Guzman doubts most Hispanics will notice, if only "because they're so used to seeing images like that of themselves -- little dialogue, always being the bad guy. It's going to take the intellectual community to call Lucas on what he's doing."
   Latinos are now the nation's largest minority. But box-office analyst Adam Farasati -- who argues Hollywood rarely takes minority concerns into consideration -- doesn't see any collateral damage to the film's profits.
   "The only real issue is that Attack of the Clones is one of most anticipated movies of all time," he says from RealSource's Los Angeles office.
   "And beyond that, any type of media attention -- even negative -- really just creates more hype for a film that has hype coming out its ears."

 

 

 

Aaron - is a bit of a nugget. Too cocky and will be among the first six to go.

Mirabai - the artsy fartsy one. she'll last a while but her violin will start pissing everone off.

Nathan - what a faggot. And he's from Perth. He'll hang around for a while though. The new Sara-Marie?

Jessica - an "entertainer" who doesn't stop singing but can't sing for shit. She'll stay for a while, but won't make the cut. Her singing is pissing me off already.

Marty - the WA country boy. Definately a good bloke, and definately a top 3 finisher.

Sahra - Not too bad. She's not throwing the lesbian/bi-sexual stuff in every one's face, so she will be around for quite a bit and  people will want to see her pierce the house mates.

Peter - Bloody boring. One of the first to go.

Katrina - She is already bossing people around and is pissing me off. She'll go about half way. Second Eviction SUCK SHIT BITCH!!

Alex - Not too much on him yet, but it seems like he will be around for quite a while.

Turkan - Too old, too plain. One of the first two or three to go.

Damian - The chicks will dig him and the guys will think he is pretty cool (just as long as he doesn't wear those glasses too much). Top 3 finisher. First Eviction -  Damo was the first to go. Who would of thunk it? Not me, as i thought he would be there for ages. The people that vote for this show are bloody pin heads. Why take out someone that is giving us a torrid love affair and enjoys drinking six packs at 8 in the morning and keep in some old broad who doesn't want to be there and that stupid whiny, "oh woe is me" bitch, Katrina. Katrina will definately go next week, and if she doesn't, everyone who votes are shit heads!

Shannon - some say this years Shana, but she is definately not a moody bitch. She will get a bit annoying but will hang around to near the end.

The Intruders - who knows who will make it yet.

 

CC.com has learnt that Michael Knight, Arnold Drummond and K.I.T.T. are teaming up for an undisclosed project. Here is the proof:

By Alen Pazin, In London

The Hampstead Rugby Football Club fourth team scored a convincing win over

the Hackney RFC first division squad on Saturday, beating their fancied and

higher-ranked opponents 22-10.

Faced with blustery conditions and a swirling wind inside the Hackney

ground, Hampstead faced an uphill battle from the get-go to win the match on

an unfamiliar pitch. Hampstead also faced the significant hurdle of only

being able to field 14 players throughout the course of the game. Their

preferred hooker (some fat turd whose name I can't remember) apparently

couldn't be stuffed to rouse himself on the day of the match, suffering from

a thunderous hangover.

Hampstead's tear-away fly-half, Chris Toohey, was also in a torrid state

after an enormous Friday night on the turps. Toohey, who was overheard in

the wee hours of Saturday morning to say, "they are the best jugs I have

ever seen" to an unidentified punter, managed to evade most tackles during

the game by breathing a mixture of Stella Artois and lamb kebab on his

opponents.

Hackney won the toss and chose to play with the wind in the first half,

hoping to consolidate an early lead with the cyclonic gale at their backs.

Hampstead then conceded an early try, with Toohey struggling not to spew and

failing to create any opportunities for the Heathens back-line at

five-eighth.

However, directly following a Hampstead scrum in Hackney's half Toohey

managed a clever solo run - mimicking the selfish play of the great Kevin

"Hungry" Bartlett - before haphazardly flinging the ball to the centres,

leading to one of the Hampstead backs collapsing over the try line for 5

points. (The try scorer may have been Toohey, I can't remember.)

Hackney's balding fly-half then proceeded to pressure the depleted Hampstead

back-line with a barrage of wind-assisted field kicks deep into Hampstead's

half, but Hampstead's star full-back, Al Pazin - in the team again after a 4

game layoff - was superb in the last line of defence, constantly dropping

back when required and deftly fielding the difficult punts. Pazin's defence

was superb, and his return kicking stunned the Hackney backs into a sequence

of error-riddled play - prompting the 5 or 6-strong crowd to launch into a

roaring chant of "Super Boot!".

Then, disaster. After a series of blatantly corrupt refereeing calls Hackney

won a line-out deep in Hampstead's 22, with the ball flung wide to Hackney's

fat turd inside centre, who somehow battled his way through some magnificent

cover defence by Pazin. The star full-back valiantly grappled with the

Hackney centre and copped a scone to his forehead for his efforts, resulting

in a grade 4 tear to his eye-socket and a possible concussion. Bleeding

profusely, Pazin was blood-binned for the remaining three minutes of the

first half, during which time Hampstead's remaining 13 players defended

vigorously without conceding any further scores.

With the half-time score at 10-5 in favour of Hackney, Pazin - in an

unrivalled feat of awesome heroism - returned to the field with a piddly

little band-aid over his his right eye-socket and proceeded to kick the

living crud out of the ball, completely mesmerising the Hackney back line

with his tactical nouse.

Hampstead then completely turned the tables and proceeded to run over three

tries - two by Toohey, who continues to impress at fly-half, but whose place

kicking needs further work, successfully booting only one of a possible four

conversion attempts. The score at the final whistle stood at 22-10,

Hampstead.

Another stunning victory for the yellow and marone men, who would be

hovering somewhere near the top of their table, if the North London fourth

division did, in fact, bother to record the results of games. Hampstead now

face a week lay-off so that the boys are able to watch the England-Ireland

clash at the pub on Saturday.

CC.com has learnt that Britney Spears' home in LA was broken into last night after security systems were temporarily shut down. Though the police were called, the security staff refused to press charges once thaey arrived, and the culprit is now still at large. Britney, who was not home at the time, was none the less outraged at the break in. She told cc.com, "I'm really pissed. Is it not enough that the media pokes their noses into my supposed virginity, now I have to put up with freaks breaking into my home. I mean what if I was home having sex......ummmm...not having sex". Although the intruder was let go, he has been described as having thin blond hair and very goose like in appearance. Beware the goose!!

CC.com is saddened to learn that a dear friend and original fan is currnetly sick and is in need of desperate medical attention. Taboo Tiki pulled up lame two weeks ago on one of his many treks up the coast and has been unable to hit the road since. He is currently in hospital awaiting an urgent transplant operation. The nessecary organ is unavailable in WA, thus it is being flown over from the East coast. CC.com would like to thank the generous donor who is sacrificing a lot in order for the WA public to once again witness the green blur that is the Taboo Tiki. CC.com (and all it's female fans) sends it's best wishes out to Taboo Tiki, and hopes that it graces the roads this weekend.

Rumours have begun to filter in to Greg's Goss about a major police operation and raid in the beachside suburb of Sorrento this morning.

According to an eyewitness account, the resident (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Luke Forrestal) of 19A Hawkins Ave was rudely awoken at approximately 7.30am by a cop banging down the door with his piece drawn. Fortunately Steve had packed away his bong the night before and not left it on the table cos this cop meant business.

After an unwarranted full cavity search, the cop asked me, er I mean the resident if a Greg Smith lived at the house. At this point he called out to the SWAT team hiding in the bushes that it was alright and they could  leave. My suspicions are that one of you jokers out there got busted for street drinking on Skyshow night and used my address with a false name.

Thanks for the early morning wake-up call, bastards.

 

After an interesting chain of events, it seems some of Perth's top Lawyers may be returning to primary school, or at least changing some law vocabulary to match that of what is found commonly in grade 3 playgrounds. Last Saturday night, Perth Lawyer to be Wayne "Section 26" Zappia, was quite excited when told he was to have a mattress to sleep on. Within the length of one sentence mopedman Zap was heard to quote this experience as:"..A mattress. Oh that is da bomb, that is so sick.". One wonders where Zap may have found such words as "the bomb" and "sick", however what further surprised cc.com journalists was when Jamariqui Groupie and fellow lawyer Nyssa Cherry, backed up Wayne's statements saying she used the word "the bomb" all the time.

This may mean that we are experiencing a period of change in the lawcourts. No longer will it be "objection your honour", expect now "Thats not the bomb, spunkrat", or to replace "guilty or not guilty" maybe a simple "sick, yea that's sick your honour". For a whole host of such mintox grammer from Perth's elite head down to your local Uni Law department and you can now catch up on what words that are currently "da bomb".

It turns out that perhaps Greg Ryan is not dead after all. The last sighting of Greg was taken at the Aussie premiere for Vanilla Sky, where he is seen trying to get as close as possible to his idol, Tom Cruise. What was not captured on film, but reported by many witnesses,  was Greg getting the crap kicked out of him by Tom's body guards while he was trying to give him a dozen roses.  The roses were apparently shoved in several places down Greg's clothing as he was being pummelled unmercifully by Tom's goons (hired goons) as he was screaming, "Stop pummelling me, it's really painful!". Greg was last seen crawling into a nearby gutter, and according to a recent rumour was then run over by a moped. Greg has not been since, so perhaps he is in fact dead. Of course, we here at cc.com will keep you all informed of all legitimate reports that come through.

In these times of sadness and darkness, while one of our key staff members is missing, presumed dead, we thought it might be nice to enlighten regular readers with stories of Greg.

According to wife Kate, Greg is not quite the man he claims to be. Yes, our friend Greg in fact is scared of the dark. Kate says that every night Greg insists on leaving the kitchen light on in case the "boogy man" comes. Let's just hope that while Greg is missing that he doesn't find himself trapped in a dark location. Perhaps the only time Greg truly feels comfortable with the dark is when he is with his lover Tom. In unrelated news rumours are still rife that Greg has in fact eloped with Mr. Cruise. CC.com will keep you informed as stories break...

It turns out that perhaps Greg Ryan is not dead after all. The last sighting of Greg was taken at the Aussie premiere for Vanilla Sky, where he is seen trying to get as close as possible to his idol, Tom Cruise. What was not captured on film, but reported by many witnesses,  was Greg getting the crap kicked out of him by Tom's body guards while he was trying to give him a dozen roses.  The roses were apparently shoved in several places down Greg's clothing as he was being pummelled unmercifully by Tom's goons (hired goons) as he was screaming, "Stop pummelling me, it's really painful!". Greg was last seen crawling into a nearby gutter, and according to a recent rumour was then run over by a moped. Greg has not been since, so perhaps he is in fact dead. Of course, we here at cc.com will keep you all informed of all legitimate reports that come through.

In these times of sadness and darkness, while one of our key staff members is missing, presumed dead, we thought it might be nice to enlighten regular readers with stories of Greg.

According to wife Kate, Greg is not quite the man he claims to be. Yes, our friend Greg in fact is scared of the dark. Kate says that every night Greg insists on leaving the kitchen light on in case the "boogy man" comes. Let's just hope that while Greg is missing that he doesn't find himself trapped in a dark location. Perhaps the only time Greg truly feels comfortable with the dark is when he is with his lover Tom. In unrelated news rumours are still rife that Greg has in fact eloped with Mr. Cruise. CC.com will keep you informed as stories break...

Greg Ryan. Have you seen him? That is the question on many a mind right now. After he was recently married, one would think that Mr Ryan would be having the time of his life right now, but is he? Mr Ryan was last seen at the end of his wedding and has not been seen by the general public since. Many wild rumours have been circulating of late, the most prominent one is that he has taken off on a sabatical in search of his hero, Tom Cruise (the staff at cc.com believe this one to be true). Another rumour circulating is that he is dead. That's right, dead. Do not fret though, loyal readers of Gregs Goss, this is not the first time GR has been reported dead. All that took part in the infamous Rotto attitude test of 97 would surely remember the question that fooled everyone, Where is Greg Ryan. The answer of course was that he was dead. Taking this into account, local authorities were quoted as saying "As of now, and until we get conclusive evidence that he is in fact missing, we could not give a stuff about looking for him. Right now we believe that is just a publicity stunt in order to drum up some interest for the waning popularity of Greg's Goss. It is well known that he just copies and pastes other people's articles and then claims them as his own. All we are doing right now is putting surveillance on sessions of Vanilla Sky, as it is well known that he has an unnatural infatuation on Tom Cruise." For evidence of Greg's love of Tom, click on this link- http://www.clintoncherry.com/article.cfm?id=282

If anyone has any knowledge of Greg's whereabouts, or just wants to make up some shit, send it in to cc.com, either below or on the boards.

Greg Ryan. Have you seen him? That is the question on many a mind right now. After he was recently married, one would think that Mr Ryan would be having the time of his life right now, but is he? Mr Ryan was last seen at the end of his wedding and has not been seen by the general public since. Many wild rumours have been circulating of late, the most prominent one is that he has taken off on a sabatical in search of his hero, Tom Cruise (the staff at cc.com believe this one to be true). Another rumour circulating is that he is dead. That's right, dead. Do not fret though, loyal readers of Gregs Goss, this is not the first time GR has been reported dead. All that took part in the infamous Rotto attitude test of 97 would surely remember the question that fooled everyone, Where is Greg Ryan. The answer of course was that he was dead. Taking this into account, local authorities were quoted as saying "As of now, and until we get conclusive evidence that he is in fact missing, we could not give a stuff about looking for him. Right now we believe that is just a publicity stunt in order to drum up some interest for the waning popularity of Greg's Goss. It is well known that he just copies and pastes other people's articles and then claims them as his own. All we are doing right now is putting surveillance on sessions of Vanilla Sky, as it is well known that he has an unnatural infatuation on Tom Cruise." For evidence of Greg's love of Tom, click on this link- http://www.clintoncherry.com/article.cfm?id=282

If anyone has any knowledge of Greg's whereabouts, or just wants to make up some shit, send it in to cc.com, either below or on the boards.

These two pinheads have begun to wait in line at their local theatre for the next Star Wars movie in Seattle, USA. It doesn't come out until May 16. They, nor the cinema manager, don't even know if the movie will even play at that cinema. One of them is actually proud to own a tuxedo made from his Return of the Jedi bed sheets. What a bunch of stupid assholes!!

These two pinheads have begun to wait in line at their local theatre for the next Star Wars movie in Seattle, USA. It doesn't come out until May 16. They, nor the cinema manager, don't even know if the movie will even play at that cinema. One of them is actually proud to own a tuxedo made from his Return of the Jedi bed sheets. What a bunch of stupid assholes!!

Good news for Wildcats fans. Scott "the fish" Fisher is making a one game comeback for the Cats tomorrow night (and I won't be there because of stupid Greg Ryan's wedding. Change it to next week you dick!). Hopefully this will be a permanant move as the Cats have sorely missed his hustle, enthusiasm and floor dives this year. The Cats have just plain suck this year, so hopefully the Fish will keep the jersey on for the rest of the year to take the boys home to glory.

Good news for Wildcats fans. Scott "the fish" Fisher is making a one game comeback for the Cats tomorrow night (and I won't be there because of stupid Greg Ryan's wedding. Change it to next week you dick!). Hopefully this will be a permanant move as the Cats have sorely missed his hustle, enthusiasm and floor dives this year. The Cats have just plain suck this year, so hopefully the Fish will keep the jersey on for the rest of the year to take the boys home to glory.

Now we know that Tom Green and Drew Barrymore really were husband and wife: They're getting a divorce after less than six months of marriage.

The comedian filed a Superior Court divorce petition on Monday, saying irreconcilable differences was the reason for the split.

"Drew is a wonderful woman. I love her very much. I wish our marriage could have worked out. I wish her much happiness," Green said in a statement released by his publicist, Ann Gurrola.

Barrymore publicist Jennifer Allen said she was unaware of the divorce filing and she was unable to reach the actress. Drew had only one statement to make on the divorce "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!"

Green, 30, and Barrymore, 26, joked for months about whether they were married before tying the knot in July. At one point, they had promised to wed on television's Saturday Night Live.

In April, Green went on The Tonight Show and told Jay Leno that he and Barrymore were expecting a child, but later admitted he was playing a prank that he thought the audience was in on. The marriage was the first for Green, who starred in and directed the movie Freddy Got Fingered this year. It was the second for Barrymore, who most recently starred in Riding in Cars With Boys.

Now we know that Tom Green and Drew Barrymore really were husband and wife: They're getting a divorce after less than six months of marriage.

The comedian filed a Superior Court divorce petition on Monday, saying irreconcilable differences was the reason for the split.

"Drew is a wonderful woman. I love her very much. I wish our marriage could have worked out. I wish her much happiness," Green said in a statement released by his publicist, Ann Gurrola.

Barrymore publicist Jennifer Allen said she was unaware of the divorce filing and she was unable to reach the actress. Drew had only one statement to make on the divorce "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!"

Green, 30, and Barrymore, 26, joked for months about whether they were married before tying the knot in July. At one point, they had promised to wed on television's Saturday Night Live.

In April, Green went on The Tonight Show and told Jay Leno that he and Barrymore were expecting a child, but later admitted he was playing a prank that he thought the audience was in on. The marriage was the first for Green, who starred in and directed the movie Freddy Got Fingered this year. It was the second for Barrymore, who most recently starred in Riding in Cars With Boys.

Jean Pazin (junior editor of GG) did himself and everyone else proud last Friday during his staff Christmas party. Jean was controlling himself well before calling his mum and asking her to bring down some shorts for him to join the other lads in the spa.

 

The endless crownies, cocktails and baltics got the better of the young man. At about 8 pm on Friday night Jean began to hit rock bottom – excessive yelling and swearing resulted in some surf clubbie faggot climbing a fence to collect Jean’s toy gun residing in a bush (thrown there by Greg). The Juke Box man was the next to receive a barrage from Jean who constantly screamed “ha ha ha,what a stupid asshole” about 5 cm from the heavy juke box man’s face – after about 5 minutes of it some members of the Christmas party where forced to intervene.

 

Clint, Greg and Kate quickly packed him into the car and set off to a party near by with the Pazin master in full flight…… about half an hour into the party the hell cat became eerily quite. Turns out he’d been hanging out with a friend called Ben Wintle and after a small “conversation” Jean was never the same. After being dropped off in a coma like state his mum became very suspicious about his activities by the fact that he couldn’t open his eyes and the only words he could scream were “ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!”.

 

The man who stated last week “I will never slip up!” slipped up big time.

 

Happy Christmas ya stupid asshole... 

 

To celebrate Adrian Ryans 23rd birthday the Ryan family plus Clinton headed off for dinner and a few beers last Thursday night. As the group tuckered into a seafood banquet the boys decided to buy a few beers to toast the young lads big day. It was about this point that Cherry had to announce to the rest of the table "When I went up to grab my wallet I 'accidentally' grabbed my stubbie holder".

 

Needless to say he ate and drunk all night for free. Stubbie holder instead of wallet?? ....likely story tightass !!

 

Pic left: Clint and his wallet....

It turns out that Greg Ryan of Greg's Goss, is actually a secret admirer of Tom Cruise. After all his bashing of the actor (Greg is responsible for many rumours about Tom's sexuality), it seems that it was all done to hide the fact that Greg is actually Tom's biggest fan. The cc.com staff were all shocked and horrified to learn about this information, and at first did not even believe it, but after being given photographic evidence (view the photo closely) by an unnmaed source, who would only reveal himself as T Cruise, the truth has finally been revealed. This also raises many questions about Ryan. Can we now take the reports that he writes for GG as fact anymore? And also, who is T Cruise? Ryan would not respond to any questions that were yelled to him acrross the room from cc.com staffers.

In preperation for Tom's new movie, Vannilla Fudge, Greg has already begun sleeping out at teh local cinema, holding a sign that says: "I LOVE TOM'S ASS!". Tom Cruise had only this to say about the incident: "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!".

Jean Pazin (junior editor of GG) did himself and everyone else proud last Friday during his staff Christmas party. Jean was controlling himself well before calling his mum and asking her to bring down some shorts for him to join the other lads in the spa.

 

The endless crownies, cocktails and baltics got the better of the young man. At about 8 pm on Friday night Jean began to hit rock bottom – excessive yelling and swearing resulted in some surf clubbie faggot climbing a fence to collect Jean’s toy gun residing in a bush (thrown there by Greg). The Juke Box man was the next to receive a barrage from Jean who constantly screamed “ha ha ha,what a stupid asshole” about 5 cm from the heavy juke box man’s face – after about 5 minutes of it some members of the Christmas party where forced to intervene.

 

Clint, Greg and Kate quickly packed him into the car and set off to a party near by with the Pazin master in full flight…… about half an hour into the party the hell cat became eerily quite. Turns out he’d been hanging out with a friend called Ben Wintle and after a small “conversation” Jean was never the same. After being dropped off in a coma like state his mum became very suspicious about his activities by the fact that he couldn’t open his eyes and the only words he could scream were “ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!”.

 

The man who stated last week “I will never slip up!” slipped up big time.

 

Happy Christmas ya stupid asshole... 

 

To celebrate Adrian Ryans 23rd birthday the Ryan family plus Clinton headed off for dinner and a few beers last Thursday night. As the group tuckered into a seafood banquet the boys decided to buy a few beers to toast the young lads big day. It was about this point that Cherry had to announce to the rest of the table "When I went up to grab my wallet I 'accidentally' grabbed my stubbie holder".

 

Needless to say he ate and drunk all night for free. Stubbie holder instead of wallet?? ....likely story tightass !!

 

Pic left: Clint and his wallet....

It turns out that Greg Ryan of Greg's Goss, is actually a secret admirer of Tom Cruise. After all his bashing of the actor (Greg is responsible for many rumours about Tom's sexuality), it seems that it was all done to hide the fact that Greg is actually Tom's biggest fan. The cc.com staff were all shocked and horrified to learn about this information, and at first did not even believe it, but after being given photographic evidence (view the photo closely) by an unnmaed source, who would only reveal himself as T Cruise, the truth has finally been revealed. This also raises many questions about Ryan. Can we now take the reports that he writes for GG as fact anymore? And also, who is T Cruise? Ryan would not respond to any questions that were yelled to him acrross the room from cc.com staffers.

In preperation for Tom's new movie, Vannilla Fudge, Greg has already begun sleeping out at teh local cinema, holding a sign that says: "I LOVE TOM'S ASS!". Tom Cruise had only this to say about the incident: "ha ha ha, what a stupid asshole!".

Good news for the upcoming Terminator 3. This movie sounded like it would be the biggest piece of shit, as James Cameron has no involvement and the fact that John Connor (played by the whiney faggot Eddie FurlonG) would be a main character. GG though, has just learnt great news: Edward "I am a whiny little faggotwho blows goats" Furlong will not be recast as John Connor. This is great news as a turd like him hardly seems like the guy that would be the worlds saviour.

Good news for the upcoming Terminator 3. This movie sounded like it would be the biggest piece of shit, as James Cameron has no involvement and the fact that John Connor (played by the whiney faggot Eddie FurlonG) would be a main character. GG though, has just learnt great news: Edward "I am a whiny little faggotwho blows goats" Furlong will not be recast as John Connor. This is great news as a turd like him hardly seems like the guy that would be the worlds saviour.

Champion goal kicker Tony Lockett today informed the Sydney Swans of his intention to nominate for next Tuesday’s Pre-Season Draft with the hope of playing for the Swans in 2002. Only days after Gregs Goss broke the story about him deciding to remain on the side lines the fat ass has done an about face and will line up for the swans next year.

“I said throughout what was a very rushed process last week that my decision could go either way, and in the end I opted to remain in retirement,But I wasn’t totally comfortable with that decision and the next day enquired of the Club whether the opportunity was still there to nominate for the draft." said the former saint kilda big man

“As I stated last week I am going to be 36 years-old next March and that was certainly a concern with regards to reaching peak fitness in time for the season but the agreement if I am drafted by the Swans is very much only on a trial basis.

“I would train with the Club and give it my best shot up until the end of March and see where we go from there.”

Welcome back plugger -I hope you dont make an ass of yourself like sooo many before you!

CC.com founder Clinton (Goose) Cherry decided to go under the knife today (no, not another sex change operation) and undergo a radical change of style. Fully accepting the fact that he is a goose, he decided to stand out even moreso than usual and get a head shaving (#3). As someone who does not exactly posess the thickest mane of hair in the world, he was taking an incredible risk. Clint was quoted as saying "I am a risk taker. I am a goose. I decided to combine my most famous attributes and see what the outcome would be". The results have culminated (culmination!) with several thumbs up from the crew at the CC.com headquarters. Pictures can be viewed in the pictures section off the fron t page.

Champion goal kicker Tony Lockett today informed the Sydney Swans of his intention to nominate for next Tuesday’s Pre-Season Draft with the hope of playing for the Swans in 2002. Only days after Gregs Goss broke the story about him deciding to remain on the side lines the fat ass has done an about face and will line up for the swans next year.

“I said throughout what was a very rushed process last week that my decision could go either way, and in the end I opted to remain in retirement,But I wasn’t totally comfortable with that decision and the next day enquired of the Club whether the opportunity was still there to nominate for the draft." said the former saint kilda big man

“As I stated last week I am going to be 36 years-old next March and that was certainly a concern with regards to reaching peak fitness in time for the season but the agreement if I am drafted by the Swans is very much only on a trial basis.

“I would train with the Club and give it my best shot up until the end of March and see where we go from there.”

Welcome back plugger -I hope you dont make an ass of yourself like sooo many before you!

CC.com founder Clinton (Goose) Cherry decided to go under the knife today (no, not another sex change operation) and undergo a radical change of style. Fully accepting the fact that he is a goose, he decided to stand out even moreso than usual and get a head shaving (#3). As someone who does not exactly posess the thickest mane of hair in the world, he was taking an incredible risk. Clint was quoted as saying "I am a risk taker. I am a goose. I decided to combine my most famous attributes and see what the outcome would be". The results have culminated (culmination!) with several thumbs up from the crew at the CC.com headquarters. Pictures can be viewed in the pictures section off the fron t page.

Perth's newest club "The Ruby Room" opens tonight at The Burswood Casino Complex. From what I have gathered Jimmy Barnes plays there tonight, and Madison Avenue will be playing both Friday and Saturday night there. Its also open Christmas day and other public holidays for all of you out there keen to go out on the days most other places are shut.

Going on openings of new clubs in Perth's history though, I'd say for about the first 3 months there'll be huge lines and stuff there, before petering off to nothingness as the fickle night club goers of Perth jump onto the new bandwagon clubs that come out... Yes I talk to you who went to Metro's city, then to Paramount, then to Rise, then... (yes it is even a struggle to remember these names) and soon The Ruby Room will join them I suspect (if it does in fact take off). Although it could work out ok if anything like the Crown Casino in Melbourne which offers a decent pub and club setup. Here's to wearing suites in night clubs....

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be back - again - for a third installment of one of Hollywood's most potent franchises, but even middle-aged Terminators don't come cheap, reports GG.

The 54-year-old Austrian-born action star has clinched a record $US30 million salary to return as a lead-slinging, leather-clad cyborg from the future in Terminator 3, said a source close to the production, and several major studios were locked in a high-stakes bidding war for domestic rights to the film.

A spokeswoman for Schwarzenegger said the star does not comment publicly on his deals, but when asked about the $US30 million figure, she said, "We're not going to deny it." "This is one of the most powerful franchises in movie history, so the budget and salaries are commensurate with the kind of franchise we're dealing with," said publicist Jill Eisenstadt.

While $US20 million has long been considered the benchmark for big-league star salaries, their pay often is hard to pinpoint because it increasingly involves "back-end" deals that give them a share of a film's box-office gross. But one source close to the production said the $US30 million figure was "pretty right on. ... That's what he's going to get up front, and he could potentially make a lot more."

One industry observer who asked not to be identified (Clinton Cherry) suggested that Schwarzenegger was in a unique position to command such a salary as an action star who is widely seen as nearing the end of his ability to convincingly play his trademark roles. "It's a role that can't be played by anybody else, and there isn't any other role that he can play," the source said. "This is more important for Arnold than it is for any of the buyers."

Perth's newest club "The Ruby Room" opens tonight at The Burswood Casino Complex. From what I have gathered Jimmy Barnes plays there tonight, and Madison Avenue will be playing both Friday and Saturday night there. Its also open Christmas day and other public holidays for all of you out there keen to go out on the days most other places are shut.

Going on openings of new clubs in Perth's history though, I'd say for about the first 3 months there'll be huge lines and stuff there, before petering off to nothingness as the fickle night club goers of Perth jump onto the new bandwagon clubs that come out... Yes I talk to you who went to Metro's city, then to Paramount, then to Rise, then... (yes it is even a struggle to remember these names) and soon The Ruby Room will join them I suspect (if it does in fact take off). Although it could work out ok if anything like the Crown Casino in Melbourne which offers a decent pub and club setup. Here's to wearing suites in night clubs....

Arnold Schwarzenegger will be back - again - for a third installment of one of Hollywood's most potent franchises, but even middle-aged Terminators don't come cheap, reports GG.

The 54-year-old Austrian-born action star has clinched a record $US30 million salary to return as a lead-slinging, leather-clad cyborg from the future in Terminator 3, said a source close to the production, and several major studios were locked in a high-stakes bidding war for domestic rights to the film.

A spokeswoman for Schwarzenegger said the star does not comment publicly on his deals, but when asked about the $US30 million figure, she said, "We're not going to deny it." "This is one of the most powerful franchises in movie history, so the budget and salaries are commensurate with the kind of franchise we're dealing with," said publicist Jill Eisenstadt.

While $US20 million has long been considered the benchmark for big-league star salaries, their pay often is hard to pinpoint because it increasingly involves "back-end" deals that give them a share of a film's box-office gross. But one source close to the production said the $US30 million figure was "pretty right on. ... That's what he's going to get up front, and he could potentially make a lot more."

One industry observer who asked not to be identified (Clinton Cherry) suggested that Schwarzenegger was in a unique position to command such a salary as an action star who is widely seen as nearing the end of his ability to convincingly play his trademark roles. "It's a role that can't be played by anybody else, and there isn't any other role that he can play," the source said. "This is more important for Arnold than it is for any of the buyers."

I just copied this, but this is awesome news for all Rage Against The Machine fans:

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE  Cornell Debut Soon!  12/07/01

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE will release their first studio album since singer Zack de la Rocha left the band on February 26th through Epic. A spokesperson for the band says a date has not been finalized and that the group are still in recording sessions. The new album marks the debut of Rage’s new singer, Chris Cornell (ex-SOUNDGARDEN). Cornell began jamming with Rage guitarist Tom Morello, bassist Tim Commerford and drummer Brad Wilk last February, and by late May the new lineup had written 20 songs and were heading into the studio with producer Rick Rubin. Describing the Cornell collaboration backstage at the 2001 Grammy Awards, Morello told Billboard, "We've been jamming with a lot of friends lately, and Chris is among them. The two days we jammed with him were downright groundbreaking. It was off the scale." He added that the foursome had written "two great songs," and that "we're just enjoying making music again. That's all we're concerned with right now."

Little did most people know, but loyal CC.com subscriber is actually a Hollywood player and has starred in several movies of late. His most famous role to date has of course been the feel good movie, October Sky, where he played a real dork who wants to fly rockets. He is apparently going into his bad boy faze now (as evidenced by picture below), but this does not seem to be slowing his career momentum down at all. Let's all boost odie's popularity by watching October Sky on Foxtel.

 

 

I just copied this, but this is awesome news for all Rage Against The Machine fans:

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE  Cornell Debut Soon!  12/07/01

RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE will release their first studio album since singer Zack de la Rocha left the band on February 26th through Epic. A spokesperson for the band says a date has not been finalized and that the group are still in recording sessions. The new album marks the debut of Rage’s new singer, Chris Cornell (ex-SOUNDGARDEN). Cornell began jamming with Rage guitarist Tom Morello, bassist Tim Commerford and drummer Brad Wilk last February, and by late May the new lineup had written 20 songs and were heading into the studio with producer Rick Rubin. Describing the Cornell collaboration backstage at the 2001 Grammy Awards, Morello told Billboard, "We've been jamming with a lot of friends lately, and Chris is among them. The two days we jammed with him were downright groundbreaking. It was off the scale." He added that the foursome had written "two great songs," and that "we're just enjoying making music again. That's all we're concerned with right now."

Little did most people know, but loyal CC.com subscriber is actually a Hollywood player and has starred in several movies of late. His most famous role to date has of course been the feel good movie, October Sky, where he played a real dork who wants to fly rockets. He is apparently going into his bad boy faze now (as evidenced by picture below), but this does not seem to be slowing his career momentum down at all. Let's all boost odie's popularity by watching October Sky on Foxtel.

 

 

Tony "Plugger" Lockett has decided not to return to the sporting arena. He stated that he didn't wish to be viewed as a washed up sporting hero who un-retires after dominating their particular sport such as Salmon, Jordon, Jakovich, Magic and Ryan. "If I could return like ablett did then I would be there in a flash....but that guy is god and I'm just a fat ass who likes to race dogs" Lockett said.

It was the right decision Plugger - your a champion and will always be remembered as one!

Good news for all you North of the riverians is that the Big Day Out 2002 has finally moved from stinky Bassendean. While the regular bogan crowd of bassendean are highly dissappointed that they can't walk with the beam and coke in black jeans down to the big day out, the more prestigious Claremont folk are said to be happy at the new venue at Claremont Showgrounds. Hopefully this removes alot of the tossers, tools and swords that generally attend the crabby, middle of no-where venue that is bassendean, and attracts a better "normal" north of the river crowd at the popular showgrounds venue.

Still with the one-day cricket on the same day its gonna be a tough decision which way to go...

Bring on 2002.

Tony "Plugger" Lockett has decided not to return to the sporting arena. He stated that he didn't wish to be viewed as a washed up sporting hero who un-retires after dominating their particular sport such as Salmon, Jordon, Jakovich, Magic and Ryan. "If I could return like ablett did then I would be there in a flash....but that guy is god and I'm just a fat ass who likes to race dogs" Lockett said.

It was the right decision Plugger - your a champion and will always be remembered as one!

Good news for all you North of the riverians is that the Big Day Out 2002 has finally moved from stinky Bassendean. While the regular bogan crowd of bassendean are highly dissappointed that they can't walk with the beam and coke in black jeans down to the big day out, the more prestigious Claremont folk are said to be happy at the new venue at Claremont Showgrounds. Hopefully this removes alot of the tossers, tools and swords that generally attend the crabby, middle of no-where venue that is bassendean, and attracts a better "normal" north of the river crowd at the popular showgrounds venue.

Still with the one-day cricket on the same day its gonna be a tough decision which way to go...

Bring on 2002.

On da weekend, one of cc.com's premia writers was fortunate enough to meet one of da world's massiv stars of da moment Ali G. In orda to promote section 26's debut gig, Ali G was enticed into comin along as a special guest. Along there to review da gig clinton decided to go and meet Ali G, star of da Ali G show, and was fortunate to get a photo wiv da star. Ali G imself was quite ova awed by da whole story and was chilled to meet da founda of is bestest site. Ali G did ask though if he could ave is own q&a section on da site so dat questions dig "what if i nobbed da daughta of a lord?" could be answered on line. Clintoncherry.com is yet to make any announcements of a new section but were chilled to ave dis article writtun by da geeza imself.

signin off Ali G.

On da weekend, one of cc.com's premia writers was fortunate enough to meet one of da world's massiv stars of da moment Ali G. In orda to promote section 26's debut gig, Ali G was enticed into comin along as a special guest. Along there to review da gig clinton decided to go and meet Ali G, star of da Ali G show, and was fortunate to get a photo wiv da star. Ali G imself was quite ova awed by da whole story and was chilled to meet da founda of is bestest site. Ali G did ask though if he could ave is own q&a section on da site so dat questions dig "what if i nobbed da daughta of a lord?" could be answered on line. Clintoncherry.com is yet to make any announcements of a new section but were chilled to ave dis article writtun by da geeza imself.

signin off Ali G.

The very hot Halle Berry, who is a hotty, is set to be the next Bond girl, provided she can fit it into her schedule. Due to shoot X-Men 2 soon, there is some doubt over whether there will be enough time to play both roles. Berry told GG that "I really want to be the next Bond chick. I realise that I am a real hotty and as a hotty, I should be the new hotty in the new Bond film. Bond films have a grand tradition of having great hotty's, which I am. A hotty". After providing the only entertaining scene in the very crappy Swordfish when she got her boobies out (very nice boobies), she is determined to cement her position in Hollywood as a hotty. So if the role happens, make sure you go and see it and not just because she is a hotty. Bond chicks have a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth after starring in a 007 film.

CC.com founder Clinton Cherry has once again proved what a goose he is after recieving a full nudey dack yesterday at the Cott. As Clint is never one to turn down attention from his adoring public, he decided to stand nude for quite some time and appreciate the disgusted looks he was getting from the large crowd. "It was absolutely hideous", one female eye witness was reported as saying, "I mean, I saw several people running away in terror. I was frozen with fear, I wanted to run but I couldn't move". An un-named male admirer said to GG, "I actually found it to be a pleasant experience. He was very relaxed, and is obviously very comfortable about his body". A spokesman from the Cott has issued a statement that the pub will be quarantined for the rest of the week, thus jeopardising Clint's run of going to the Cott every Sunday. This comes after Clint offended the mentally challenged community of Perth at Friday's Hoodoo Gurus concert. It is believed that during the gig, Hoodoos front man Dave Faulkner was pointing at Cherry and said "Get that Goose out of here". FORTUNATELY, no photos are believed to exist of yesterdays horrific events.

The very hot Halle Berry, who is a hotty, is set to be the next Bond girl, provided she can fit it into her schedule. Due to shoot X-Men 2 soon, there is some doubt over whether there will be enough time to play both roles. Berry told GG that "I really want to be the next Bond chick. I realise that I am a real hotty and as a hotty, I should be the new hotty in the new Bond film. Bond films have a grand tradition of having great hotty's, which I am. A hotty". After providing the only entertaining scene in the very crappy Swordfish when she got her boobies out (very nice boobies), she is determined to cement her position in Hollywood as a hotty. So if the role happens, make sure you go and see it and not just because she is a hotty. Bond chicks have a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth after starring in a 007 film.

CC.com founder Clinton Cherry has once again proved what a goose he is after recieving a full nudey dack yesterday at the Cott. As Clint is never one to turn down attention from his adoring public, he decided to stand nude for quite some time and appreciate the disgusted looks he was getting from the large crowd. "It was absolutely hideous", one female eye witness was reported as saying, "I mean, I saw several people running away in terror. I was frozen with fear, I wanted to run but I couldn't move". An un-named male admirer said to GG, "I actually found it to be a pleasant experience. He was very relaxed, and is obviously very comfortable about his body". A spokesman from the Cott has issued a statement that the pub will be quarantined for the rest of the week, thus jeopardising Clint's run of going to the Cott every Sunday. This comes after Clint offended the mentally challenged community of Perth at Friday's Hoodoo Gurus concert. It is believed that during the gig, Hoodoos front man Dave Faulkner was pointing at Cherry and said "Get that Goose out of here". FORTUNATELY, no photos are believed to exist of yesterdays horrific events.

Angel star David Boreanaz, 32, has married former Playboy pin-up-turned-TV star, Jamie Bergman, 29, reports GG.

Bergman, who plays the comely B.J. Cummings on producer Howard Stern's cable comedy Son of a Beach, exchanged vows with Boreanaz last Saturday at the Ingleside Inn in Palm Springs, California. The couple had planned to wed in mid-September, but postponed the ceremony in light of the Sept. 11 attacks, especially because Boreanaz's Philadelphia-based family would have had to have flown to California during that period.

It was also reported that the weekend ceremony was downscaled from original, more elaborate party plans. The couple became engaged on July 14, when Boreanaz proposed on a mountaintop as he and Bergman were hiking in the California desert.

This is the second marriage for the Buffalo, New York, native and the first for Bergman. Boreanaz and his first wife, Ingrid Quinn, a former social worker, split in 1999, after two years of marriage. They had no children. Bergman shot to fame when she was named Playboy's 45th Anniversary Playmate and has made brief appearances in about seven movies, including Any Given Sunday and Gone in 60 Seconds.

For all you computer nerds out there: As Xbox launched into stores in the US, Xbox launch details were today announced for Australia.

Xbox will be available at retail outlets in Australia from 14th March 2002 at an anticipated retail price of AUD$649 (incl GST). The majority of Xbox titles are expected to launch at an anticipated retail price of AUD$99.95 (incl GST).

Initial quantities for Xbox were also announced. A total of 100,000 Xbox video game systems are planned for shipment in Australia for its first three months on sale (to the end of June 2002). This includes weekly replenishments.

"On March 14th, the Xbox video game system will be available to Australian gamers which will change their perception of gaming forever," said Alan Bowman, Director, Xbox Australia. "The Xbox video game system out-performs the competition and will deliver some of the most powerful gaming experiences ever."

In a more serious GG today,  reports that Fred Durst visited the young girl who tragiclly died at the BDO earlier this year are not true. The police involved in the inquest have said that to their knowledge Durst did not visit the victim, even though he claims that he did. Fred Durst is a total assface! To anyone who thinks this guy is cool is an assface! This guy is no better than Britney Spears, he is just a publicity machine who wants to make money but hides it behind his "tough guy" image and his tattoos. At least Britney knows that she is making cheesy pop, this  dick thinks he makes credible music. The only difference is that Brit's market are younger girls and his are impressionable young middle class white punks who yearn to be tough. Fred Durst, you suck you rat faced, lying sack of shit.

UPDATE: The following came from www.news.com.au and further shows what a rat face this guy is. Fred Durst is a fag!!

Singer's statement about death "half-baked"

From AAP
20nov01

A STATEMENT from US band Limp Bizkit gave only a half-baked account of events surrounding the death of a teenager during a concert in Sydney on Australia Day this year, an inquest has been told.

Westmead Coroners Court is examining the death of 15-year-old Jessica Michalik who died five days after being caught in a crowd crush at the Big Day Out concert on January 26 this year.

Coroner Jacqueline Milledge today said she was surprised that Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst had not been more forthcoming in giving evidence.

"Given his position on the stage and knowing what was going on and being given directions it would be important for us to get a fuller account from him," the coroner said.

The court heard that two investigators travelled to the United States to speak with Durst and his band.

However they only managed to obtain a question and answer-style statement signed by the band's lawyer.

Counsel for the Michalik family told the court the statement contained "half baked statements" which raised more questions than they answered.

The hearing continues.

NEW UPDATE: from www.news.com.au

THE crowd collapse that killed a teenage girl at an outdoor concert was partly caused by the failure of US band Limp Bizkit to stop playing when requested, a crowd safety expert has said.

Michael Upton told the inquest yesterday into the death of 16-year-old Jessica Michalik at Sydney's Big Day Out concert on January 26 this year that the security team had repeatedly asked headline act Limp Bizkit to stop performing.

"In my opinion the failure by Limp Bizkit to stop their performance was a contributing factor to the time taken to remove persons from the audience," he said.

Mr Upton said people caught underneath a crowd collapse could die within seconds.

"If you were a victim of a vertical load . . . you really have got very little chance, particularly in an environment where it's very dark and very noisy," he said.

"If you don't get help, you're talking seconds."

Other factors leading to the crowd collapse included the extreme crowd behaviour in response to the band, increased crowd density at the front of the stage and the hot weather, which caused dehydration.

Mr Upton said Limp Bizkit lead singer Fred Durst had provoked the security team "to the limit".

He said Durst's com ments to the audience that "these guys won't help you, look after yourselves" were unhelpful and grossly unfair.

Mr Upton said security staff extracted Ms Michalek from the mosh pit as quickly as possible and had prevented further casualties.

In his opinion, Limp Bizkit had "absolute" influence over the crowd.

He said crowd surges such as the one which triggered the Big Day Out collapse were like ripples on a pond: "Once it starts it goes forward everyone becomes a victim."

Mr Upton said he had once seen a man cause a crowd surge by scratching his nose.

"Three people pushing can generate a pressure load of 360 pounds (164kg)," he said.

Additional barricades requested by the band before the concert would not have prevented the tragedy, Mr Upton said.

Lawyers representing the band's interests plan to call another crowd safety expert to contradict Mr Upton's evidence.

The inquest continues.

ONCE AGAIN, FRED DURST IS A WANKER!!

NEWER UPDATE:

The lead singer of rock band Limp Bizkit dragged a Big Day Out employee on to a New Zealand stage and poured water on him after he asked the band to stop playing, an inquest was told yesterday.

The incident occurred at a Big Day Out concert in Auckland, prior to the Sydney show at which 15-year-old Jessica Michalik was dragged under the crowd and later died.

Jessica collapsed in a mosh-pit during Limp Bizkit's Sydney performance and died in hospital five days later.

A coroner in Sydney was yesterday also shown a photograph of band frontman Fred Durst making a gesture with his finger to a security guard who was motioning to him to stop at the Sydney show.

Mark Dean, SC, counsel for event promoter Creative Entertainment, told the inquest into Jessica's death that Durst had been asked to stop playing at the New Zealand show after the crowd became unruly.

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He said Big Day Out production manager Matt Dougherty had asked Limp Bizkit's production manager, Chris Gratton, to stop the music.

Mr Gratton allegedly told Mr Dougherty he would have to tell Durst himself.

Mr Dean said according to Mr Dougherty's statement to police, Durst then grabbed Mr Dougherty and dragged him on to the stage.

"(Durst) said to the crowd: 'Here are the authorities,' and shoved a microphone into (Mr Dougherty's) face," Mr Dean said.

When Mr Dougherty took the microphone and asked the crowd to calm down, Durst poured a bottle of water on him, he said.

Also yesterday, crowd management expert Michael Upton was shown a photograph that he said showed a security officer giving Durst "an urgent signal to stop" at the Sydney concert.

Mr Upton said Durst appeared to be making a gesture with his finger in response.

Security officer Martin Simich said he, too, made several gestures to Durst but was ignored.

He said other bands, including the Red Hot Chili Peppers, had stopped playing when asked and he did not believe Durst had not seen him.

"I believe he was (looking)," he told the court.

"I believe (the signal to stop playing) was fairly evident. On previous occasions the band has stopped."

Both men said the crowd would probably have calmed down if Limp Bizkit had stopped playing.

"I think it would have helped considerably," Mr Upton said.

Durst has so far refused to give evidence in person at the inquiry, drawing criticism from Coroner Jaqueline Milledge.

The inquest continues.

FRED DURST AND LIMP BIZKIT ARE A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS!!

Angel star David Boreanaz, 32, has married former Playboy pin-up-turned-TV star, Jamie Bergman, 29, reports GG.

Bergman, who plays the comely B.J. Cummings on producer Howard Stern's cable comedy Son of a Beach, exchanged vows with Boreanaz last Saturday at the Ingleside Inn in Palm Springs, California. The couple had planned to wed in mid-September, but postponed the ceremony in light of the Sept. 11 attacks, especially because Boreanaz's Philadelphia-based family would have had to have flown to California during that period.

It was also reported that the weekend ceremony was downscaled from original, more elaborate party plans. The couple became engaged on July 14, when Boreanaz proposed on a mountaintop as he and Bergman were hiking in the California desert.

This is the second marriage for the Buffalo, New York, native and the first for Bergman. Boreanaz and his first wife, Ingrid Quinn, a former social worker, split in 1999, after two years of marriage. They had no children. Bergman shot to fame when she was named Playboy's 45th Anniversary Playmate and has made brief appearances in about seven movies, including Any Given Sunday and Gone in 60 Seconds.

For all you computer nerds out there: As Xbox launched into stores in the US, Xbox launch details were today announced for Australia.

Xbox will be available at retail outlets in Australia from 14th March 2002 at an anticipated retail price of AUD$649 (incl GST). The majority of Xbox titles are expected to launch at an anticipated retail price of AUD$99.95 (incl GST).

Initial quantities for Xbox were also announced. A total of 100,000 Xbox video game systems are planned for shipment in Australia for its first three months on sale (to the end of June 2002). This includes weekly replenishments.

"On March 14th, the Xbox video game system will be available to Australian gamers which will change their perception of gaming forever," said Alan Bowman, Director, Xbox Australia. "The Xbox video game system out-performs the competition and will deliver some of the most powerful gaming experiences ever."

In a more serious GG today,  reports that Fred Durst visited the young girl who tragiclly died at the BDO earlier this year are not true. The police involved in the inquest have said that to their knowledge Durst did not visit the victim, even though he claims that he did. Fred Durst is a total assface! To anyone who thinks this guy is cool is an assface! This guy is no better than Britney Spears, he is just a publicity machine who wants to make money but hides it behind his "tough guy" image and his tattoos. At least Britney knows that she is making cheesy pop, this  dick thinks he makes credible music. The only difference is that Brit's market are younger girls and his are impressionable young middle class white punks who yearn to be tough. Fred Durst, you suck you rat faced, lying sack of shit.

UPDATE: The following came from www.news.com.au and further shows what a rat face this guy is. Fred Durst is a fag!!

Singer's statement about death "half-baked"

From AAP
20nov01

A STATEMENT from US band Limp Bizkit gave only a half-baked account of events surrounding the death of a teenager during a concert in Sydney on Australia Day this year, an inquest has been told.

Westmead Coroners Court is examining the death of 15-year-old Jessica Michalik who died five days after being caught in a crowd crush at the Big Day Out concert on January 26 this year.

Coroner Jacqueline Milledge today said she was surprised that Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst had not been more forthcoming in giving evidence.

"Given his position on the stage and knowing what was going on and being given directions it would be important for us to get a fuller account from him," the coroner said.

The court heard that two investigators travelled to the United States to speak with Durst and his band.

However they only managed to obtain a question and answer-style statement signed by the band's lawyer.

Counsel for the Michalik family told the court the statement contained "half baked statements" which raised more questions than they answered.

The hearing continues.

NEW UPDATE: from www.news.com.au

THE crowd collapse that killed a teenage girl at an outdoor concert was partly caused by the failure of US band Limp Bizkit to stop playing when requested, a crowd safety expert has said.

Michael Upton told the inquest yesterday into the death of 16-year-old Jessica Michalik at Sydney's Big Day Out concert on January 26 this year that the security team had repeatedly asked headline act Limp Bizkit to stop performing.

"In my opinion the failure by Limp Bizkit to stop their performance was a contributing factor to the time taken to remove persons from the audience," he said.

Mr Upton said people caught underneath a crowd collapse could die within seconds.

"If you were a victim of a vertical load . . . you really have got very little chance, particularly in an environment where it's very dark and very noisy," he said.

"If you don't get help, you're talking seconds."

Other factors leading to the crowd collapse included the extreme crowd behaviour in response to the band, increased crowd density at the front of the stage and the hot weather, which caused dehydration.

Mr Upton said Limp Bizkit lead singer Fred Durst had provoked the security team "to the limit".

He said Durst's com ments to the audience that "these guys won't help you, look after yourselves" were unhelpful and grossly unfair.

Mr Upton said security staff extracted Ms Michalek from the mosh pit as quickly as possible and had prevented further casualties.

In his opinion, Limp Bizkit had "absolute" influence over the crowd.

He said crowd surges such as the one which triggered the Big Day Out collapse were like ripples on a pond: "Once it starts it goes forward everyone becomes a victim."

Mr Upton said he had once seen a man cause a crowd surge by scratching his nose.

"Three people pushing can generate a pressure load of 360 pounds (164kg)," he said.

Additional barricades requested by the band before the concert would not have prevented the tragedy, Mr Upton said.

Lawyers representing the band's interests plan to call another crowd safety expert to contradict Mr Upton's evidence.

The inquest continues.

ONCE AGAIN, FRED DURST IS A WANKER!!

NEWER UPDATE:

The lead singer of rock band Limp Bizkit dragged a Big Day Out employee on to a New Zealand stage and poured water on him after he asked the band to stop playing, an inquest was told yesterday.

The incident occurred at a Big Day Out concert in Auckland, prior to the Sydney show at which 15-year-old Jessica Michalik was dragged under the crowd and later died.

Jessica collapsed in a mosh-pit during Limp Bizkit's Sydney performance and died in hospital five days later.

A coroner in Sydney was yesterday also shown a photograph of band frontman Fred Durst making a gesture with his finger to a security guard who was motioning to him to stop at the Sydney show.

Mark Dean, SC, counsel for event promoter Creative Entertainment, told the inquest into Jessica's death that Durst had been asked to stop playing at the New Zealand show after the crowd became unruly.

advertisement

advertisement

He said Big Day Out production manager Matt Dougherty had asked Limp Bizkit's production manager, Chris Gratton, to stop the music.

Mr Gratton allegedly told Mr Dougherty he would have to tell Durst himself.

Mr Dean said according to Mr Dougherty's statement to police, Durst then grabbed Mr Dougherty and dragged him on to the stage.

"(Durst) said to the crowd: 'Here are the authorities,' and shoved a microphone into (Mr Dougherty's) face," Mr Dean said.

When Mr Dougherty took the microphone and asked the crowd to calm down, Durst poured a bottle of water on him, he said.

Also yesterday, crowd management expert Michael Upton was shown a photograph that he said showed a security officer giving Durst "an urgent signal to stop" at the Sydney concert.

Mr Upton said Durst appeared to be making a gesture with his finger in response.

Security officer Martin Simich said he, too, made several gestures to Durst but was ignored.

He said other bands, including the Red Hot Chili Peppers, had stopped playing when asked and he did not believe Durst had not seen him.

"I believe he was (looking)," he told the court.

"I believe (the signal to stop playing) was fairly evident. On previous occasions the band has stopped."

Both men said the crowd would probably have calmed down if Limp Bizkit had stopped playing.

"I think it would have helped considerably," Mr Upton said.

Durst has so far refused to give evidence in person at the inquiry, drawing criticism from Coroner Jaqueline Milledge.

The inquest continues.

FRED DURST AND LIMP BIZKIT ARE A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS!!

Why is it that a guy who makes millions of dollars a month to play basketball, is 8 feet tall and has two championship rings can be a total and utter dickhead. This guy has no idea about being cool and whilst the golf hat he normally wears is enough to question his mental state this new hat rasies many more questions.

Earlier this year Shaq was forced to apologise to Cindy crawford, Venus willians and Aaliyah after claiming to have had sex with each of them -something the three ladies hotly denied "Why would we sleep with that golf hat wearing uncool fat ass motherfarker!". "I am sorry, Venus. I am sorry, Cindy Crawford. I am sorry, Aaliyah. Those that know me, my good friends, know I'm a comedian, and if I hurt your feelings, I apologize. If I could do anything to make it better, I would. I apologize. I'm sorry." shaq said. 

Even his own teammates dont like him - Kobe is reported to say "I hate the bitch" and Phil Jackson (Laker coach) said "what he lacks in brain he makes up in fat!".

Shaq is a loser and a very big cockhead!

Why is it that a guy who makes millions of dollars a month to play basketball, is 8 feet tall and has two championship rings can be a total and utter dickhead. This guy has no idea about being cool and whilst the golf hat he normally wears is enough to question his mental state this new hat rasies many more questions.

Earlier this year Shaq was forced to apologise to Cindy crawford, Venus willians and Aaliyah after claiming to have had sex with each of them -something the three ladies hotly denied "Why would we sleep with that golf hat wearing uncool fat ass motherfarker!". "I am sorry, Venus. I am sorry, Cindy Crawford. I am sorry, Aaliyah. Those that know me, my good friends, know I'm a comedian, and if I hurt your feelings, I apologize. If I could do anything to make it better, I would. I apologize. I'm sorry." shaq said. 

Even his own teammates dont like him - Kobe is reported to say "I hate the bitch" and Phil Jackson (Laker coach) said "what he lacks in brain he makes up in fat!".

Shaq is a loser and a very big cockhead!

Unwritten Law are in town Friday night at the globe…..

All reports from the eastern states is that they are kicken ass and the kids are going nuts! Rumour has it that they are opening with Teenage suicide and closing with ELVA.Word on the street is that UP OR NIGHT is fantastic live and I also noted that many of the fans are saying that its the best gig they've seen them play.

 

This is going to be a kick ass night and they are promising to be even better than when they played with BodyJar last year.

 

If you haven’t got a ticket (25 bucks) then move your ass and if you haven’t got their latest album ELVA then you don’t know what you’re missing.

 

With the Hoodoo’s, Unwritten Law, cricket and gatecrasher in town this week its time to get off your ass and party all weekend! See you at all four!(thank god for monday RDO)

Madonna's husband, British film director Guy "madonnas husband til i put her in a film" Ritchie, says he hates it when his wife wears revealing see-through T-shirts, reports GG.

"He doesn't want anyone to see my raspberries," the American superstar told GG in a rare interview on Thursday. In response to the question "why are you a stinky ho?" her comment was "Ive slept with half of the free world, I'm a pretend actress, I mime, I'm a skank and I'm butt ugly...maybe thats got something to do with it".

Madonna said Guy "i couldnt score a real chick so I got the biggest slut" Ricthie tells her to cover up and she obeys "unless I'm crunched for time." But surely one of the world's most famous pop stars and fashion icons can dress how she likes? "Sometimes I do. I have to pick and choose my battles. He doesn't want me to dress like an old slapper! Those are his words," the 43-year-old Madonna said.

Clothes or no clothes you will always be an old slapper.

Unwritten Law are in town Friday night at the globe…..

All reports from the eastern states is that they are kicken ass and the kids are going nuts! Rumour has it that they are opening with Teenage suicide and closing with ELVA.Word on the street is that UP OR NIGHT is fantastic live and I also noted that many of the fans are saying that its the best gig they've seen them play.

 

This is going to be a kick ass night and they are promising to be even better than when they played with BodyJar last year.

 

If you haven’t got a ticket (25 bucks) then move your ass and if you haven’t got their latest album ELVA then you don’t know what you’re missing.

 

With the Hoodoo’s, Unwritten Law, cricket and gatecrasher in town this week its time to get off your ass and party all weekend! See you at all four!(thank god for monday RDO)

Madonna's husband, British film director Guy "madonnas husband til i put her in a film" Ritchie, says he hates it when his wife wears revealing see-through T-shirts, reports GG.

"He doesn't want anyone to see my raspberries," the American superstar told GG in a rare interview on Thursday. In response to the question "why are you a stinky ho?" her comment was "Ive slept with half of the free world, I'm a pretend actress, I mime, I'm a skank and I'm butt ugly...maybe thats got something to do with it".

Madonna said Guy "i couldnt score a real chick so I got the biggest slut" Ricthie tells her to cover up and she obeys "unless I'm crunched for time." But surely one of the world's most famous pop stars and fashion icons can dress how she likes? "Sometimes I do. I have to pick and choose my battles. He doesn't want me to dress like an old slapper! Those are his words," the 43-year-old Madonna said.

Clothes or no clothes you will always be an old slapper.

Comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield suffered a heart attack last week on his 80th birthday and is currently recovering in intensive care. After further tests, doctors will determine what sort of treatment he will require, but his wife believes that he will be home by mid week. Dangerfield has been a veteran  stand up comic for years but is perhaps best known for his work in movies. Among his credits are Easy Money, Back to School (see this movie if you havn't already, a very under appreciated 80's classic) and of course, Caddyshack, where he had a standout role along side such legends as Chevy Chase and Bill Murray. He also played against type as an abusive father in Natural Born Killers, which garnered him great critical praise. He is also the animated version of Mr Burns' son on the Simpsons. All the best to Rodney for a speedy recovery.

 

Soccer is a shit sport played by poofs, watched by thugs and run by old men!
It is a sport that the best team never wins, people get killed and uncoordinated countries like England and France dominate. Whilst the sport has been played for about a million years the normal score is nil-nil (i'm told by howard and andre that this is good result!) - technology hasnt helped either and players are demanding more and more money even though they cant score goals.

In some great wisdom from the soccer head -fifa- the world cup teams are decided upon through multiple (or in australias case.. one) best of two series (yes! BEST OF TWO!!) what friggen moron comes up with a series that is the best of two? It turns out that a 1-0 victory in the drizzle and rain (Aust V Urgay) is not as good as a 3-0 vicotry in the sunshine and perfect conditions (Urgay V Aust) - Well i say fark that! Its one all you poofter soccer fags and its time to play a real game without the pads and poofy round ball!

Soccer is dead in australia and thats just the way we like it! We are australians and we love cricket and aussie rules and all you wogs can piss off home! (except for the greeks cause you rock!)

Comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield suffered a heart attack last week on his 80th birthday and is currently recovering in intensive care. After further tests, doctors will determine what sort of treatment he will require, but his wife believes that he will be home by mid week. Dangerfield has been a veteran  stand up comic for years but is perhaps best known for his work in movies. Among his credits are Easy Money, Back to School (see this movie if you havn't already, a very under appreciated 80's classic) and of course, Caddyshack, where he had a standout role along side such legends as Chevy Chase and Bill Murray. He also played against type as an abusive father in Natural Born Killers, which garnered him great critical praise. He is also the animated version of Mr Burns' son on the Simpsons. All the best to Rodney for a speedy recovery.

 

Soccer is a shit sport played by poofs, watched by thugs and run by old men!
It is a sport that the best team never wins, people get killed and uncoordinated countries like England and France dominate. Whilst the sport has been played for about a million years the normal score is nil-nil (i'm told by howard and andre that this is good result!) - technology hasnt helped either and players are demanding more and more money even though they cant score goals.

In some great wisdom from the soccer head -fifa- the world cup teams are decided upon through multiple (or in australias case.. one) best of two series (yes! BEST OF TWO!!) what friggen moron comes up with a series that is the best of two? It turns out that a 1-0 victory in the drizzle and rain (Aust V Urgay) is not as good as a 3-0 vicotry in the sunshine and perfect conditions (Urgay V Aust) - Well i say fark that! Its one all you poofter soccer fags and its time to play a real game without the pads and poofy round ball!

Soccer is dead in australia and thats just the way we like it! We are australians and we love cricket and aussie rules and all you wogs can piss off home! (except for the greeks cause you rock!)

The movie event of the year is on this Sunday at 10:30am, with a special advanced screening of American Pie 2 at Greater Union Innaloo. Tickets are on sale now, so go buy one. NOW! The film does not come out until 6 December, so it's definately worth getting up for. So come down and visit your old friends Stiffler ("What did you cocks do to him"), Jim Dad's ("This one looks like a tropical plant of some kind"), Finch ("No, no date. There was a bathroom incident"), the Sherminator ("it was just my time boys. It was just my time") and the crew from CC.com.

DRUMMER Scott Murray, from Australian band 28 Days, has died after he was hit by a car at the weekend.

The 22-year-old was hit as he was crossing a busy Melbourne road on Saturday and died as a result of his injuries on Sunday night.

He was on his way from the home of a fellow band member to his brother's housewarming party when the fatal accident happened.

The band, riding high after they were nominated for an ARIA in the category of best album by a new artist for Upstyle Down, are devastated by the tragic accident.

They were soon to be heading into the recording studios and are part of the line-up for Sydney's Homebake festival on December 8.

Announcing the young rocker's death yesterday, band members James Dunne, Damian Gardiner, Simon Hepburn and Jason Howard described their shock at their loss and offered their condolences to Murray's fiancee Julia and to his family.

They paid tribute to Murray, not only for his musical talents, but as a friend.

"Although mainly known for his time as the drummer from 28 Days, Scott was a unique person and a musician in his own right who was dearly loved by his family and friends and well respected and liked by everyone he came into contact with," they said in a statement.

"Words cannot express our feelings at this time as we try to come to terms with such an unexpected and tragic loss.

"We are all honoured to have known Scott and been able to call him our friend."

It is understood 28 Days, who have cancelled gigs in Perth this weekend, will have to decide next week whether they will play at Homebake.

Team Photo - Socceroos

Thanks for the photo and good work Cabassi!

Review:

Soccer is alive and well in the country after Australia dismantled the Urgays for a 1-0 victory. The party continued well into the night after Kevin Muscat converted from the charity dot after substitute Paul Agostino was chopped in the box. While many will say the job is only half done I say we have made it! If we lose from here we will be moving this wonderful sport off the continent.

 

The urgays tried to play the old Cott bouncer trick by stopping anything trying to enter that didn’t have big tits and long legs – the first half was a display of how boring a soccer match can be. The second half saw the lads getting a little more restless and the consumption of alcohol was increasing with every minute that past without a Socceroos goal. By the 70^th minute it was looking more likely that urgay was going to score but like many Australian teams we play at our best when the panic sets in. I was constantly cheering “go Soccer” and it seemed to lift the wayward roos.

 

When Agostino was killed in the penalty box it was like tasting ice-cream for the first time again –sweet!!!. Muscat was given the job of converting the kick and made no mistake by putting a lollypop straight down the middle. The final few minutes drew out and then the real party began….WE HAD WON, SOCCER WAS BACK and WE’RE GOING TO THE WORLD CUP!!! My only wish now is that we are drawn with England and the USA (Please god).

 

The major players:

Harry Kewell – he may look ,sound, smell and walk like a pom but he still kicks ass in the green and gold – I’d sleep with him (****)

Mark Viduka – this guy is a superstar – you can’t touch this champion (****)

Kevin Muscat – converted the penalty and is a dead set party animal (*****)

Paul Agostino – was fouled in the box and thus did his job (***)

Mark Schwarzer – clean sheet ..not bad (***)

Stan Lazaridis – this guy is a dickhead..Piss poor corners and he stuffed up way too many times thanks god they got rid of him for the second half.(*)

Frank Farina's – sign him up now! (*****)

 

As for the urgays they all played alright except for that guy who kept having shots from 40 meters out…what an asshole!

Photos Available at

 http://staff.cbs.curtin.edu.au/ryang/photos/2001/world%20cup%202001/index.html

The soccer boys!

 

DRUMMER Scott Murray, from Australian band 28 Days, has died after he was hit by a car at the weekend.

The 22-year-old was hit as he was crossing a busy Melbourne road on Saturday and died as a result of his injuries on Sunday night.

He was on his way from the home of a fellow band member to his brother's housewarming party when the fatal accident happened.

The band, riding high after they were nominated for an ARIA in the category of best album by a new artist for Upstyle Down, are devastated by the tragic accident.

They were soon to be heading into the recording studios and are part of the line-up for Sydney's Homebake festival on December 8.

Announcing the young rocker's death yesterday, band members James Dunne, Damian Gardiner, Simon Hepburn and Jason Howard described their shock at their loss and offered their condolences to Murray's fiancee Julia and to his family.

They paid tribute to Murray, not only for his musical talents, but as a friend.

"Although mainly known for his time as the drummer from 28 Days, Scott was a unique person and a musician in his own right who was dearly loved by his family and friends and well respected and liked by everyone he came into contact with," they said in a statement.

"Words cannot express our feelings at this time as we try to come to terms with such an unexpected and tragic loss.

"We are all honoured to have known Scott and been able to call him our friend."

It is understood 28 Days, who have cancelled gigs in Perth this weekend, will have to decide next week whether they will play at Homebake.

Odie has won the first cc.com movie lines competition that has taken the world by storm. As you can see by his photo, he does not get out much so he has plenty of time to watch movies. He beat several thousand competitors from around the world to take out the coveted prize (still to be determined). The winner only had this to say, "I wash myself with a rag on a stick".

Gregs Goss has learned that Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones will have a world wide release date of May 16 (gay countries like South Africa are excluded). This is awesome news for all Star Wars fans as stupid bitches like that Angela Bishop bitch from Channel 10 cannot ruin the movie for everyone before it comes out. The above photo is the first teaser poster for the film, which is an exclusive for GG.

LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!!!!! JAR JAR BINKS WILL RETURN!!!!!!!

The new trailer, titled "forbidden Love" kicks ass! It focuses at first on the budding relationship between Padme and Anakin (we learn that romance is forbidden for the jedi) and shows Anakin getting really pissed off. The action scenes are kick ass as well. This movie just looks better and better. This is the last trailer until March though.

Gregs Goss has learned that Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones will have a world wide release date of May 16 (gay countries like South Africa are excluded). This is awesome news for all Star Wars fans as stupid bitches like that Angela Bishop bitch from Channel 10 cannot ruin the movie for everyone before it comes out. The above photo is the first teaser poster for the film, which is an exclusive for GG.

LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!!!!! JAR JAR BINKS WILL RETURN!!!!!!!

The new trailer, titled "forbidden Love" kicks ass! It focuses at first on the budding relationship between Padme and Anakin (we learn that romance is forbidden for the jedi) and shows Anakin getting really pissed off. The action scenes are kick ass as well. This movie just looks better and better. This is the last trailer until March though.

14 seconds to go…..1 point down…..Jean has the ball on our base line….Ryan calls for the ball…..

 

In perfect conditions, Ryan returned to the basketball world he left many a year ago. With Ben still nursing his groin it was going to be a full 40 minutes for all five players. Jean Pazin was in scintillating form all night and Bass was going to the line more often than the Oasis brothers. Andre was cleaning up everything on the boards and Jamie was directing traffic from the top of the key. As the half time siren rang both teams couldn’t be separated and Ryan was still yet to score.

 

The second half was again very tight and Ryan threatened to blow the game out with six points in as many minutes. Each of the five fish made clutch shots down the straight and the Uwe Blah fish boys led the HomyGee boys by one point with a minute left on the clock. A technical foul gave the HomyGee’s two shots and a side ball and everything look lost. They missed both foul shots but scored an easy basket to lead by one with 25 seconds to go. The fairytale return of Ryan looked lost and Uwe Blah Fish looked destined for a 1-3 start and an end to the playoff chances with only 18 rounds left to play. BUT this is basketball and magical shit happens all the time. The Uwe scrambled the ball down the court and the ball was forced out by the opposition. Jean collected the ball and prepared to inbound.

 

14 seconds to go…..1 point down…..Jean has the ball on our base line….Ryan calls for the ball…..

 

After having seen Ryan explode for 6 points the HomyGee’s double teamed him and it meant someone else had to win the game. Jean's only option was to swing it to Andre who was standing about 1 and half meters behind the three points line – 8 seconds remaining…..7 seconds…6 seconds….an off balanced Andre puts up a wish from a metre behind the three point line and all looked lost- I looked destined to emulate Jordan again with a loss on my return. Only needing a two to win the question being asked by all of his team mates was “what the!”.

 

SWISH!! Nothing but Net.. the Uwe Blah Fish wins it by two, Andre is a hero, Ryans fairytale return is complete and the Uwe are now eyeing off top spot. The umpire summed it up beautiful “that was the biggest fluke I have ever seen.”

 

Fluke or no fluke we won bitch!

 

Next week we return to Court 1 at 8:40pm – my love of court one is similar to Jordan’s love of the garden.

 

As for my return my estimates were grossly underestimated:

My prediction: 4 points, 3 blocks, 2 steals, 1 turnover and 1 dunk!

Actual Stats :  6 points, 1 block, 6 steals, 1 turnover and 0 dunks!

Not a bad nights work for a return match.

 

Seeya Next week Losers....

14 seconds to go…..1 point down…..Jean has the ball on our base line….Ryan calls for the ball…..

 

In perfect conditions, Ryan returned to the basketball world he left many a year ago. With Ben still nursing his groin it was going to be a full 40 minutes for all five players. Jean Pazin was in scintillating form all night and Bass was going to the line more often than the Oasis brothers. Andre was cleaning up everything on the boards and Jamie was directing traffic from the top of the key. As the half time siren rang both teams couldn’t be separated and Ryan was still yet to score.

 

The second half was again very tight and Ryan threatened to blow the game out with six points in as many minutes. Each of the five fish made clutch shots down the straight and the Uwe Blah fish boys led the HomyGee boys by one point with a minute left on the clock. A technical foul gave the HomyGee’s two shots and a side ball and everything look lost. They missed both foul shots but scored an easy basket to lead by one with 25 seconds to go. The fairytale return of Ryan looked lost and Uwe Blah Fish looked destined for a 1-3 start and an end to the playoff chances with only 18 rounds left to play. BUT this is basketball and magical shit happens all the time. The Uwe scrambled the ball down the court and the ball was forced out by the opposition. Jean collected the ball and prepared to inbound.

 

14 seconds to go…..1 point down…..Jean has the ball on our base line….Ryan calls for the ball…..

 

After having seen Ryan explode for 6 points the HomyGee’s double teamed him and it meant someone else had to win the game. Jean's only option was to swing it to Andre who was standing about 1 and half meters behind the three points line – 8 seconds remaining…..7 seconds…6 seconds….an off balanced Andre puts up a wish from a metre behind the three point line and all looked lost- I looked destined to emulate Jordan again with a loss on my return. Only needing a two to win the question being asked by all of his team mates was “what the!”.

 

SWISH!! Nothing but Net.. the Uwe Blah Fish wins it by two, Andre is a hero, Ryans fairytale return is complete and the Uwe are now eyeing off top spot. The umpire summed it up beautiful “that was the biggest fluke I have ever seen.”

 

Fluke or no fluke we won bitch!

 

Next week we return to Court 1 at 8:40pm – my love of court one is similar to Jordan’s love of the garden.

 

As for my return my estimates were grossly underestimated:

My prediction: 4 points, 3 blocks, 2 steals, 1 turnover and 1 dunk!

Actual Stats :  6 points, 1 block, 6 steals, 1 turnover and 0 dunks!

Not a bad nights work for a return match.

 

Seeya Next week Losers....

Sylvester Stallone is currently prepping a script for the next Rambo installment. It will focus on the character fighting the Taliban. If anyone remembers, Rambo III was actually set in Afghanistan, so the story will follow a John Rambo who has decided to retire there and sell TV's for a living (he is not doing that well). Due to his lack of business he joins the United States army in trying to overthrow the Taliban. GG has also learnt that Rocky VI is in the works, with Rocky trying to set up an old timers boxing circuit. The following interview was conducted with Sly by his good mate Arnuld (who is also trying to resurrect his carrer through numerous sequels).

Arnuld - Good morning
Sly - Good morning
Arnuld - You idiot!

For some stupid reason, a Fat Albert movie is in the works. This is total bullshit. Something so cool cannot be translated to real life nor can it be updated to suit modern life. Fat albert was some funky shit jim, and those levels of funkiness just no longer exist. It is like comparing some modern gangsta faggot to the soul brother #1, James Brown. You don't do it. GG has learned that the fat guy from that shit band D12 (which is led by that try hard honky, Eminem) wants to play Fat Albert, but was told that "you is too fat jim". JJ from Good Times was approached to play a role (Rudy?) but responded to the honky mofo's at the movie studio "Man, this shit aint DYNAMITE!!".

Greg Ryan will return to the Basketball arena after a 4 year layoff following the 1997 Elvin B Grade Championship with fellow GG and CC writer Clinton Cherry. The move has shocked the Basketball world and follows the return on Michael Jordan. Like Jordan, Ryan will return to a weaker and lower division team called Uwe Blab Fish captained by the impressive Jean Pazin. After many weeks of negotiations Jean Pazin was delighted to announce what many journalists are calling the “the recruitment of the decade”.

 

“We are delighted to welcome Greg into our team and it’s a dream come true for all our current players who have seen Greg in action but never had the chance to play with him” a boastful Jean said today.

 

4 years ago the dynamic power forward along with point guard Clinton “bullet” Cherry claimed an historic victory for the Elvin by leading all scorers and block shots on the way to duel MVP awards, championship rings and many personal accolades. Weeks following the championship owner and founder Clinton Cherry held a press conference saying “we are retiring the franchise because we feel we have achieved everything there is to achieve in basketball.”

 

“This is all about the challenge and no longer about the rings. This team (Uwe Blab Fish) has severely underachieved and I find it laughable that many of them still feel their C Grade championship (won last year) is worth anything. Its time to get this club back on its feet and competing in the pinnacle of the sport – B grade” said Greg.

 

Uwe Blab Fish, is led by Jean Pazin and is complimented with other nobodies such as Andre, Cabbassi, Jamie and Ben. The team has fallen from the heights of A grade since the departure of Johnnie and Balic but the trade that hurt the most was Reiner’s move to the Kalgoolie Rednecks. Many of the trades have been blamed on the mismanagement by general manager Jean Pazin, but all those rumours were put to rest with his effort to recruit the powerful Ryan to the struggling franchise. “Its not going to happen overnight but I will turn these bunch of slackers into a team that can complete outside of the grandma league”.

 

Gregs return is TONIGHT at 7:40pm.

Sylvester Stallone is currently prepping a script for the next Rambo installment. It will focus on the character fighting the Taliban. If anyone remembers, Rambo III was actually set in Afghanistan, so the story will follow a John Rambo who has decided to retire there and sell TV's for a living (he is not doing that well). Due to his lack of business he joins the United States army in trying to overthrow the Taliban. GG has also learnt that Rocky VI is in the works, with Rocky trying to set up an old timers boxing circuit. The following interview was conducted with Sly by his good mate Arnuld (who is also trying to resurrect his carrer through numerous sequels).

Arnuld - Good morning
Sly - Good morning
Arnuld - You idiot!

For some stupid reason, a Fat Albert movie is in the works. This is total bullshit. Something so cool cannot be translated to real life nor can it be updated to suit modern life. Fat albert was some funky shit jim, and those levels of funkiness just no longer exist. It is like comparing some modern gangsta faggot to the soul brother #1, James Brown. You don't do it. GG has learned that the fat guy from that shit band D12 (which is led by that try hard honky, Eminem) wants to play Fat Albert, but was told that "you is too fat jim". JJ from Good Times was approached to play a role (Rudy?) but responded to the honky mofo's at the movie studio "Man, this shit aint DYNAMITE!!".

Greg Ryan will return to the Basketball arena after a 4 year layoff following the 1997 Elvin B Grade Championship with fellow GG and CC writer Clinton Cherry. The move has shocked the Basketball world and follows the return on Michael Jordan. Like Jordan, Ryan will return to a weaker and lower division team called Uwe Blab Fish captained by the impressive Jean Pazin. After many weeks of negotiations Jean Pazin was delighted to announce what many journalists are calling the “the recruitment of the decade”.

 

“We are delighted to welcome Greg into our team and it’s a dream come true for all our current players who have seen Greg in action but never had the chance to play with him” a boastful Jean said today.

 

4 years ago the dynamic power forward along with point guard Clinton “bullet” Cherry claimed an historic victory for the Elvin by leading all scorers and block shots on the way to duel MVP awards, championship rings and many personal accolades. Weeks following the championship owner and founder Clinton Cherry held a press conference saying “we are retiring the franchise because we feel we have achieved everything there is to achieve in basketball.”

 

“This is all about the challenge and no longer about the rings. This team (Uwe Blab Fish) has severely underachieved and I find it laughable that many of them still feel their C Grade championship (won last year) is worth anything. Its time to get this club back on its feet and competing in the pinnacle of the sport – B grade” said Greg.

 

Uwe Blab Fish, is led by Jean Pazin and is complimented with other nobodies such as Andre, Cabbassi, Jamie and Ben. The team has fallen from the heights of A grade since the departure of Johnnie and Balic but the trade that hurt the most was Reiner’s move to the Kalgoolie Rednecks. Many of the trades have been blamed on the mismanagement by general manager Jean Pazin, but all those rumours were put to rest with his effort to recruit the powerful Ryan to the struggling franchise. “Its not going to happen overnight but I will turn these bunch of slackers into a team that can complete outside of the grandma league”.

 

Gregs return is TONIGHT at 7:40pm.

In an obvious effort to increase ticket sales, the organisers have decided to bring in Jim and Stiffler ("Who's the man? Stiffler!!") from American Pie fame for the upcoming Rumba festival. The festival, which looked to be extremely gay, will obviously be extremely cool now. It's unknown whether the Stiffmeister will let nerds in or just say "Party? There's no party. Try the house down the street." It is believed that the Sherminator himself is trying to come as well, but Stiffler will shut that down by saying "Sherman!! What the f#%k are you doing here!".

Jim, Stiffler and the Sherminator - "Sherman! What the f#%k are you doing here!"

In an obvious effort to increase ticket sales, the organisers have decided to bring in Jim and Stiffler ("Who's the man? Stiffler!!") from American Pie fame for the upcoming Rumba festival. The festival, which looked to be extremely gay, will obviously be extremely cool now. It's unknown whether the Stiffmeister will let nerds in or just say "Party? There's no party. Try the house down the street." It is believed that the Sherminator himself is trying to come as well, but Stiffler will shut that down by saying "Sherman!! What the f#%k are you doing here!".

Jim, Stiffler and the Sherminator - "Sherman! What the f#%k are you doing here!"

Due to his excessive popularity, Jar Jar Binks is set to star in his own trilogy of Star Wars movies that will almost certainly surpass the popularity of the existing movies. George Lucas himself has told Gregs Goss that the first movie is to be entitled "Jar Jar Wars, Episode I - Jar Jar Binks Rocks!", with the following episodes being titled "Jar Jar Binks kicks ass!" and "Jar Jar Binks is the Surpreme Ruler of the Universe". Lucas also told GG that he will create further alterations to the original trilogy by replacing Obi Won Kenobi with Jar Jar Binks as the wise mentor of Luke Skywalker. "People have been bugging me since the Phantom Menace to see more of Jar Jar Binks, so you will definately see more of him. I have decided to completely change my vision of Star Wars to appease the Jar Jar fans. The ewoks will also appear as kick ass Jedi knights in the next two Star Wars installments."  It is believed that the new Jar Jar trilogy will centre around Jar Jar kicking ass and picking up heaps of hot alien chicks.

Jar Jar looks on at the already large crowds lining up for the new trilogy.

Due to incessant pestering by Greg Ryan, Unwritten Law are going to be playing shows in WA. The band are playing four shows total, including two show at Settlers down in Margaret  River. The band were not originally going to play WA, until Ryan continually harassed them by sending a few hundred e-mails per day and using several choice words to describe each band member. He made it extremely clear that if they did not play WA then he would "make up all sorts of shit" for Gregs Goss and make sure that their name would be tarnished forever. The band, knowing full well the power of the cc.com writing staff, buckled under the pressure and told this reporter "There was no way we would go up against Gregs Goss. Those guys are the most influential media group in the world and could easily destroy our career in a second".

The dates for WA:

11/29/2001	Margaret River			Australia
11/29/2001	Settlers Tavern	Marg River		Australia	18+
11/30/2001	Globe	Perth		Australia	18+
12/1/2001	Globe	Perth		Australia

The first photo (yes, that it is a photo, not a painting) of the Green Goblin for the upcoming Spiderman movie has been released exclusively to GG, and it looks totally shit house. This better be a good movie or the persuasive power of cc.com's writers will destroy this movie with bad reviews and bullshit rumours, which people will believe because "if it's on gregs goss, it must be true".

Due to his excessive popularity, Jar Jar Binks is set to star in his own trilogy of Star Wars movies that will almost certainly surpass the popularity of the existing movies. George Lucas himself has told Gregs Goss that the first movie is to be entitled "Jar Jar Wars, Episode I - Jar Jar Binks Rocks!", with the following episodes being titled "Jar Jar Binks kicks ass!" and "Jar Jar Binks is the Surpreme Ruler of the Universe". Lucas also told GG that he will create further alterations to the original trilogy by replacing Obi Won Kenobi with Jar Jar Binks as the wise mentor of Luke Skywalker. "People have been bugging me since the Phantom Menace to see more of Jar Jar Binks, so you will definately see more of him. I have decided to completely change my vision of Star Wars to appease the Jar Jar fans. The ewoks will also appear as kick ass Jedi knights in the next two Star Wars installments."  It is believed that the new Jar Jar trilogy will centre around Jar Jar kicking ass and picking up heaps of hot alien chicks.

Jar Jar looks on at the already large crowds lining up for the new trilogy.

Due to incessant pestering by Greg Ryan, Unwritten Law are going to be playing shows in WA. The band are playing four shows total, including two show at Settlers down in Margaret  River. The band were not originally going to play WA, until Ryan continually harassed them by sending a few hundred e-mails per day and using several choice words to describe each band member. He made it extremely clear that if they did not play WA then he would "make up all sorts of shit" for Gregs Goss and make sure that their name would be tarnished forever. The band, knowing full well the power of the cc.com writing staff, buckled under the pressure and told this reporter "There was no way we would go up against Gregs Goss. Those guys are the most influential media group in the world and could easily destroy our career in a second".

The dates for WA:

11/29/2001	Margaret River			Australia
11/29/2001	Settlers Tavern	Marg River		Australia	18+
11/30/2001	Globe	Perth		Australia	18+
12/1/2001	Globe	Perth		Australia

The first photo (yes, that it is a photo, not a painting) of the Green Goblin for the upcoming Spiderman movie has been released exclusively to GG, and it looks totally shit house. This better be a good movie or the persuasive power of cc.com's writers will destroy this movie with bad reviews and bullshit rumours, which people will believe because "if it's on gregs goss, it must be true".

Just saw the trailer and it looks hot! The trailer focuces on an assasination attempt on Padme, but still does not really tell anything about the movie though. This one has dialogue, so we get to hear everyone speak (Anakin, Obi Won, Yoda etc, even Watto!). The effects look awesome! Jar Jar Binks is there but you only see the back of his head, what a rip off! Anakin's character definately seems a little reckless. We see that water planet again (with huge flying creatures), Tatooine and heaps of Coruscant. Jango Fett features prominently and he looks wicked, as does his ship. This looks incredible, and can't wait for the new trailer that comes out next week.

For all you fans of Ben Horgan out there will be pleased to see the release of his first DVD.

'In pursuit of perfection' perfectly sums up this boys life, talking about his driving techniques in his mums bmw, golf with dad at the vines, dad finding "stuff" in his room, his female pursuers, stealing flowers from the sapphire bar, the numerous times he has gone missing and of course his infatuations with getting dressed up as an indian or a sailor... What a great title for the man beguki himself

read more on this great title here http://www.ezydvd.com.au/item.zml/219602/id=Tlzz4:mUShS

Ben Horgan: this is your life

Yet again the screams of the uneducated have fallen on deaf ears....all you morons who have been chanting for the death of Langer and for Ponting to take up captaincy of the greatest cricket team the world has ever seen should prepare to burn in hell. Today Langer crafted a magnificant 100+ whilst ponting scored a cracking 5. He may make them slowly but at the end of the day a slow 100+ is better than a lightning 5.

The Langer V Ponting wars have waged for about as long as we've heard "Ponting is going to be champion one day" (going on 8 years now). Langer is a true opener who gets on with the job and his recent record of two centuries from two innings is a tribute to the master he is. Ponting on the other hand cracks under pressure and has scored one century in 22 months of cricket - thats right 1 century in 22 months - I know of players whos brilliant careers didnt last that long.

Without trying to swear I would like to say - get rid of the F$#%$en piece of C%^$% F%$%$ing Wa%$%er......captain my ass.

Hey simon, just like your football background you could pick a winner if it didnt fall out of you nose "I Love ponting - Hes soooo good" ....1 Century in 22 months....and indian tour average of 6......3 ducks against the poms......and a 5 against the Kiwis.

He must love sucking coc$%$%ks because there is no other way this guy would be getting a game.

Simon ...bite me ya dickhead!

 

silverchair are set to return to the touring circuit after they told CC.com that they would be playing the Big Day Out. "I really wanted to tour again. I want people to check out my new buff body. I've been lifting weights constantly for a year and I'm now up to 44 kilos. I feel like Superman.", Daniel Johns was quoted as saying as to why he the band is touring again.

Happy Birthday to CC and GG writer Jean Pazin who turns 25 today.

Post your comments and well wishes to the birthday boy in the forum.

Happy Birthday Brother!

Kylie is set to marry James Gooding after the two were spotted shopping for wedding rings eariler this week. The news has apparently shattered many little lessos hearts and Kylie hasnt ruled out returning to Australia to raise her kids.

Whilst Kylie wouldnt reveal any details to other sources she was more than happy to discuss her impending engagement to the 26 year old Gooding to GG and CC. "Hes 7 years younger than me but I dont give a shit because i'm sooo lonely and have jumped on the first bus going my way." When asked where the ceramony will be held she replied "Probably on the set of neighbours or young talent time."

James Gooding is someone who does something and his only comment was "I get to shag that every night!"

The Ally McBeal star has now confirmed to GG that she is a lesbian, stating that she is definately doing the do with Ringo Starr's step daughter. "Yes, I am now a lesbian. I needed some way to get back into the public spotlight. As I am no longer anorexic, I needed the attention.", she told this reporter. It is amazing how much stars are willing to confide with the staff here at CC.com.

The trailer is up at www.apple.com or www.starwars.com

It kicks ass. Fuck lord of the rings.

Check it out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to CC and GG writer Jean Pazin who turns 25 today.

Post your comments and well wishes to the birthday boy in the forum.

Happy Birthday Brother!

Kylie is set to marry James Gooding after the two were spotted shopping for wedding rings eariler this week. The news has apparently shattered many little lessos hearts and Kylie hasnt ruled out returning to Australia to raise her kids.

Whilst Kylie wouldnt reveal any details to other sources she was more than happy to discuss her impending engagement to the 26 year old Gooding to GG and CC. "Hes 7 years younger than me but I dont give a shit because i'm sooo lonely and have jumped on the first bus going my way." When asked where the ceramony will be held she replied "Probably on the set of neighbours or young talent time."

James Gooding is someone who does something and his only comment was "I get to shag that every night!"

The Ally McBeal star has now confirmed to GG that she is a lesbian, stating that she is definately doing the do with Ringo Starr's step daughter. "Yes, I am now a lesbian. I needed some way to get back into the public spotlight. As I am no longer anorexic, I needed the attention.", she told this reporter. It is amazing how much stars are willing to confide with the staff here at CC.com.

The trailer is up at www.apple.com or www.starwars.com

It kicks ass. Fuck lord of the rings.

Check it out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gwineth Paltrow has gained about 450 pounds since Who Magazine named he the biggest loser of the past decade.....

These exclusive photos where purchased from Kristie Wintle and clearly show that Gwineth is struggling to deal with the pressures of being a total loser.

When questioned about her increased weight she replied "What the hell are you talking about?". Rumours also surfaced that the blonde eye-sore is now looking at playing fat alberts sister in the upcoming Fat Albert movie from WarnerBrother. Her manager is quoted as saying "What other F$#%n parts do you think this fat ass, ugly bitch is going to be able to play?"

Since her split from the Brad boy, who is quoted saying "She was a total friggen nutcase", things have gone from bad to worse for the white elephant.

From all of us here at GG and CC ...suck shit bitch

Since returning from travels abroad (or work as he calls it) Nick Collins recently checked himself into a Rehabilitation Clinic due to a "pain in the chest" after drinking a single carlton midstrength. It is reported that Nick - having not touched a beer for 3 months due to religious beliefs - tried to jump back on the booze wagon shortly after returning.....But as reported by Keanan Thayer "he just cant handle his drink anymore" and had to be rushed to hospital by none other than his lovely girlfriend Tiffany who was quoted as saying "what a pussy! hes blaming it on glandula fever but thats a load of crap.".

Nick is hoping his recovery is aided by sharing a room with Clinton during his sex change surgery......we wish them both a speedy recovery. As pictured above the two spent many years together at the retard and spastic centre for deformed teenagers - since then the two have grown very close and Clinton very rarely leaves the house without his trusty Pink Robe and Nick loves to wear the Melbourne Scaff Clinton bought him years ago...friends forever...

Gwineth Paltrow has gained about 450 pounds since Who Magazine named he the biggest loser of the past decade.....

These exclusive photos where purchased from Kristie Wintle and clearly show that Gwineth is struggling to deal with the pressures of being a total loser.

When questioned about her increased weight she replied "What the hell are you talking about?". Rumours also surfaced that the blonde eye-sore is now looking at playing fat alberts sister in the upcoming Fat Albert movie from WarnerBrother. Her manager is quoted as saying "What other F$#%n parts do you think this fat ass, ugly bitch is going to be able to play?"

Since her split from the Brad boy, who is quoted saying "She was a total friggen nutcase", things have gone from bad to worse for the white elephant.

From all of us here at GG and CC ...suck shit bitch

Since returning from travels abroad (or work as he calls it) Nick Collins recently checked himself into a Rehabilitation Clinic due to a "pain in the chest" after drinking a single carlton midstrength. It is reported that Nick - having not touched a beer for 3 months due to religious beliefs - tried to jump back on the booze wagon shortly after returning.....But as reported by Keanan Thayer "he just cant handle his drink anymore" and had to be rushed to hospital by none other than his lovely girlfriend Tiffany who was quoted as saying "what a pussy! hes blaming it on glandula fever but thats a load of crap.".

Nick is hoping his recovery is aided by sharing a room with Clinton during his sex change surgery......we wish them both a speedy recovery. As pictured above the two spent many years together at the retard and spastic centre for deformed teenagers - since then the two have grown very close and Clinton very rarely leaves the house without his trusty Pink Robe and Nick loves to wear the Melbourne Scaff Clinton bought him years ago...friends forever...

Clinton Cherry, founder of CC.com, will be away for a few weeks due to his upcoming surgery. Jean Pazin and Greg Ryan will be running the site for the meantime, so send any news items to us. The rumour is (and if it's on gregs goss, it must be true) that clint is having a sex change operation, and when he returns you should call her Clintina from now on.

New Zealand rugby practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Eden Park. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. Assistant coach Grant Fox immediately suspended practice while the Police and SIS were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the Police and SIS determined that the white substance was the goal line. (something the All Blacks have not seen too much of lately hence the confusion as to what it was)

Practice was resumed when the officials decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Clinton Cherry, founder of CC.com, will be away for a few weeks due to his upcoming surgery. Jean Pazin and Greg Ryan will be running the site for the meantime, so send any news items to us. The rumour is (and if it's on gregs goss, it must be true) that clint is having a sex change operation, and when he returns you should call her Clintina from now on.

New Zealand rugby practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Eden Park. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. Assistant coach Grant Fox immediately suspended practice while the Police and SIS were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the Police and SIS determined that the white substance was the goal line. (something the All Blacks have not seen too much of lately hence the confusion as to what it was)

Practice was resumed when the officials decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

Actor Liam Neeson will confront the devil in an upcoming "prequel" to the 1973 horror classic The Exorcist, reports Gregs Goss.

The 49-year-old Oscar-nominated actor has been cast to star as the young Father Merrin, the character Max von Sydow played in the original Exorcist. The untitled fourth installment of the franchise traces the story of the priest back to his first encounter with the devil in post-World War Two Africa. A first draft of the prequel's screenplay was written by William Wisher (Terminator 2), then was reworked by best-selling novelist Caleb Carr.

The film, to be directed by John Frankenheimer (The Manchurian Candidate, The Island of Dr. Moreau), will go into production next year. The re-release of the original Exorcist with extra footage last year grossed a crap load of money

More recently, he played and was nominated by Gregs Goss for a Academy award for best actor as a Jedi knight in the blockbuster Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace.

You heard it first........

Test discard Michael Slater may have come up embarrassingly short after being allocated his own number in Australian cricketing annals by the Australian Cricket Board.

The 74-Test opener believed he was the 356th player to represent Australia and had gone about having the number tattooed on his body and his new red Ferrari given the personalised number plate MS356.

But according to today's Daily Telegraph, he was one short. The paper said the ACB had informed Slater he was the 357th Test player behind Brendon Julian, with whom he debuted against England in Manchester in 1993. Slater had assumed that because he was higher up the batting order and Australia batted first, that he would be listed ahead of the retired WA paceman.But the Test numbering is done alphabetically, which leaves Julian in front.

Despite this, Slater remained adamant he was still No.356, the Telegraph said. "It will say that in the stats," he told the paper. And official ACB statistician Ross Dundas said there was no clear way of determining Slater's position. "There is no hard and fast rule about this," Dundas said. "Most people would assume you would do it alphabetically."

The Telegraph said the ACB website, baggygreen.com.au, listed Slater at No.357 on the official list of Test caps.

Scoop//After avoiding subsequent paparazzi and US government spies, a clintoncherry.com photographer today got the ultimate scoop, capturing a certain bearded man not far from Perth. After going in search of his idol Peter Russel Clarke, Munno was shocked to find the photo he thought he took of the cheese guy was in fact one of the America's most wanted. It is now expected an exhaustive campaign will be set out to track the man out bush, who is thought to be hitting the pubs through rural Australia as he attempts to fit in with the locals, however as seems to be evident in the photo, the locals are all keen to kick him out after mistaking him for a kiwi

.

Linda Hamilton has confirmed to Greg's Goss that she will not be appearing in the next installment in the Terminator franchise, T3: John Connor Is A Total Faggot. She has said that "I can't believe what a little whiny faggot that Edward Furlong kid is" and "there is no way that I would ever play his mother again, it was bad enough the first time around". When asked about the rumours of her wanting to have a love scene with the Terminator she consented that "yes, I did want to have that in the film. I really wanted to explore the relationship between the modern woman and technology. The studio thought it was a little too kinky though".

 

This week you will have a chance to catchup with the team from CC and GregsGoss at the Lookout for the Guttermouth and One Dollar Short Concert. If you dont know where the Lookout is then you dont deserve to come! The gig is on this Thursday night 25th October(tonight).... Tickets are 30 Bucks and you can get them at ticketmasters or the door.


It promises to be a big night with Nick "I Love Keanan" Collins celebrating his birthday and a suprise appearance by Keanan "Why am I gay?" Thayer. This night promises to be punkfilled with a touch of alcohol and work the next day is no excuse..

Any of you techno loving dance manics please disregard this invite and I hope you look forward to the big tent filled with the likes of your pathetic type on the Big Day Out " Ive got a good idea why dont we pay 90 buck to stand in a tent, listen to a guy playing a repetitive CD while its 40degrees and the foo are kicken ass on the main stage".

Long live Punk.

Linda Hamilton has confirmed to Greg's Goss that she will not be appearing in the next installment in the Terminator franchise, T3: John Connor Is A Total Faggot. She has said that "I can't believe what a little whiny faggot that Edward Furlong kid is" and "there is no way that I would ever play his mother again, it was bad enough the first time around". When asked about the rumours of her wanting to have a love scene with the Terminator she consented that "yes, I did want to have that in the film. I really wanted to explore the relationship between the modern woman and technology. The studio thought it was a little too kinky though".

 

This week you will have a chance to catchup with the team from CC and GregsGoss at the Lookout for the Guttermouth and One Dollar Short Concert. If you dont know where the Lookout is then you dont deserve to come! The gig is on this Thursday night 25th October(tonight).... Tickets are 30 Bucks and you can get them at ticketmasters or the door.


It promises to be a big night with Nick "I Love Keanan" Collins celebrating his birthday and a suprise appearance by Keanan "Why am I gay?" Thayer. This night promises to be punkfilled with a touch of alcohol and work the next day is no excuse..

Any of you techno loving dance manics please disregard this invite and I hope you look forward to the big tent filled with the likes of your pathetic type on the Big Day Out " Ive got a good idea why dont we pay 90 buck to stand in a tent, listen to a guy playing a repetitive CD while its 40degrees and the foo are kicken ass on the main stage".

Long live Punk.

Greg's Goss has learned that Kelly Slater is coming out of retirement to join the pro surfing circuit once again, and full time no less. Slater is one of the great athletes in the world today and it is fantastic to see a true champion come back to kick everyones's ass once again. Still only 29 years old, he has only been surfing the odd tournament in recent years as he was just too good for the competition and no doubt he will add to his already 6 world surfing titles. In an exclusive interview with this reporter Kelly revealed that he is returning because he is sick of hearing about that "old fart Jordan" and wants to show the world who the greatest athlete in the world is. He also said that he would "kick the ass of Jordan" if he saw him and would even kill him in a game of basketball.

Greg's Goss has learned that Kelly Slater is coming out of retirement to join the pro surfing circuit once again, and full time no less. Slater is one of the great athletes in the world today and it is fantastic to see a true champion come back to kick everyones's ass once again. Still only 29 years old, he has only been surfing the odd tournament in recent years as he was just too good for the competition and no doubt he will add to his already 6 world surfing titles. In an exclusive interview with this reporter Kelly revealed that he is returning because he is sick of hearing about that "old fart Jordan" and wants to show the world who the greatest athlete in the world is. He also said that he would "kick the ass of Jordan" if he saw him and would even kill him in a game of basketball.

Arnuld Swharzenberger is set to try and kick start his career by jumping on board yet another sequel. Rumours have been abound for a long time now about a sequel to True Lies and T3 (co-starring tennis star Andy Roddick), Arnold has confirmed to Greg's Goss that he will also be starring in a seqel to the Conan film entitled "Crown of Iron". Hopefully Jerry Lopez will also be signed on to reprise his role from Conan The Barbarian.

The following interview was conducted with Arnold:

JP: Are you doing Conan 3?
Arnold: Yeah.
JP: Will Jerry Lopez be in it?
Arnold: Yes. You son of a bitch.
JP: Excuse me?
Arnold: Yeah
JP: What?
Arnold: STOP IT!!
JP: Stop What?
Arnold: Stop Whining
JP: I'm not whining
Arnold: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
JP: I'm asking the questions here buddy
Arnold: I'm a cop you idiot!!
JP: No you're not
Arnold: Yeah
JP: Listen.....
Arnold: STOP IT!!
JP: Hey!
Arnold: Fuck you asshole
JP: Fuck you
Arnold: Fuck you asshole
JP: What are you talking about?
Arnold: Give me your address
JP: No!
Arnold: I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's
JP: Who? I don't know Sarah Connor
Arnold: Come on, don't bullshit me
JP: This interview is over
Arnold: Yes
JP: What an asshole!

Arnuld Swharzenberger is set to try and kick start his career by jumping on board yet another sequel. Rumours have been abound for a long time now about a sequel to True Lies and T3 (co-starring tennis star Andy Roddick), Arnold has confirmed to Greg's Goss that he will also be starring in a seqel to the Conan film entitled "Crown of Iron". Hopefully Jerry Lopez will also be signed on to reprise his role from Conan The Barbarian.

The following interview was conducted with Arnold:

JP: Are you doing Conan 3?
Arnold: Yeah.
JP: Will Jerry Lopez be in it?
Arnold: Yes. You son of a bitch.
JP: Excuse me?
Arnold: Yeah
JP: What?
Arnold: STOP IT!!
JP: Stop What?
Arnold: Stop Whining
JP: I'm not whining
Arnold: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
JP: I'm asking the questions here buddy
Arnold: I'm a cop you idiot!!
JP: No you're not
Arnold: Yeah
JP: Listen.....
Arnold: STOP IT!!
JP: Hey!
Arnold: Fuck you asshole
JP: Fuck you
Arnold: Fuck you asshole
JP: What are you talking about?
Arnold: Give me your address
JP: No!
Arnold: I'm a friend of Sarah Connor's
JP: Who? I don't know Sarah Connor
Arnold: Come on, don't bullshit me
JP: This interview is over
Arnold: Yes
JP: What an asshole!

This is one of the boys wanted for questioning

A gang of hoodlums last night almost had the Cottesloe beach hotel shut down in amazing circumstances after heading off on their way home. Lead by a juvenile youngster fresh from celebrating his 21st the night before (name undisclosed) the gang supposively induced by alcohol began to play it "up". The leader of the pack was said to have been "jumping" in and out of puddles to "attempt" to wet his "friends".

Seeing the mayhem that this was obviously causing to the neighbourhood a responsible bouncer decided it was high time these hooligans were put into their place. He yelled at them then called them into a circle for a stern lecture. He threatened the boys with "closing down the cott" if such pranks continued before placing them all on after school detention next week.

May this be a warning to any one else heading to the Cott that there are several overweight, over confident and over gay bouncers waiting to "take charge" should any wildly out of control situations happen in the future.

"Yo Willy, pass the crack pipe". In shocking news, Gregs Goss has found out that Max Wright, who played Willy on the great 80's sitcom, ALF, has become a crack addict and an actor in cheap homemade gay porn movies. It seems as though yet another fallen star has hit rock bottom, but the extent of this fall is amazing. Why would someone  so beloved by millions of fans around the world do this to himself? CC.com contributor, Luke Forrestal, who is believed to be Gordon Shumway himself, could not be reached for comment at this moment, but he is believed to be shocked (although, he considers this his best chance at getting his hands on the Tanner's cat, Lucky).

In related news, a rumour started up over one year ago by Jean Pazin and Clinton Cherry about ALF getting a DVD release is still circulating. Congratulations to the boys for such magnificent bullshit. For more details on both topics, click below:

 http://www.dvdtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151236

This is one of the boys wanted for questioning

A gang of hoodlums last night almost had the Cottesloe beach hotel shut down in amazing circumstances after heading off on their way home. Lead by a juvenile youngster fresh from celebrating his 21st the night before (name undisclosed) the gang supposively induced by alcohol began to play it "up". The leader of the pack was said to have been "jumping" in and out of puddles to "attempt" to wet his "friends".

Seeing the mayhem that this was obviously causing to the neighbourhood a responsible bouncer decided it was high time these hooligans were put into their place. He yelled at them then called them into a circle for a stern lecture. He threatened the boys with "closing down the cott" if such pranks continued before placing them all on after school detention next week.

May this be a warning to any one else heading to the Cott that there are several overweight, over confident and over gay bouncers waiting to "take charge" should any wildly out of control situations happen in the future.

"Yo Willy, pass the crack pipe". In shocking news, Gregs Goss has found out that Max Wright, who played Willy on the great 80's sitcom, ALF, has become a crack addict and an actor in cheap homemade gay porn movies. It seems as though yet another fallen star has hit rock bottom, but the extent of this fall is amazing. Why would someone  so beloved by millions of fans around the world do this to himself? CC.com contributor, Luke Forrestal, who is believed to be Gordon Shumway himself, could not be reached for comment at this moment, but he is believed to be shocked (although, he considers this his best chance at getting his hands on the Tanner's cat, Lucky).

In related news, a rumour started up over one year ago by Jean Pazin and Clinton Cherry about ALF getting a DVD release is still circulating. Congratulations to the boys for such magnificent bullshit. For more details on both topics, click below:

 http://www.dvdtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151236

A couple of  young punks rode around the city on a scooter with a siren on their heads scaring people into thinking they were the police. They especially tried terrorising women that seemed to be on the run from the law. Asian tourists and the elderly were also picked on as they drove circles around them scaring the hell out of them. One bystander was quoted as saying "I remember when this city was a great place to live. There were no hoodlums". Tourism is set to nose dive now with the knowledge that a motorised scooter gang are starting to roam the streets. The police as of yet have no leads, although they were sighted carving up a local skate ramp at the end of the day  yelling "see you tomorrow loser!!". Whom they were speaking to is still to be determined. This reporter has no knowledge of who these punks are for fear of incriminating himself.

A sketch made from an eye witness account.

Congratulations to clintoncherry.com reporter, Jean Pazin, on guiding his team to the championship. Uwe Blab Fish have long been a dominant performer in the world of basketball and backed that up by winning the championship on Wednesday evening. Team captain Pazin was quoted as saying "We rule!!". In the victory speech Pazin made special note  to mention the other team by saying "Those guys sucked ass!!" and "We've played guys that sucked before, but those guys sucked. They were the worst bunch of suckiest sucks that ever sucked".

It was a hard slog of a game though with plenty of good hussle ("good hussle!!), with Mr Sheen himself (Pazin) cleaning the glass all night long. Cabassanossi as usual managed to score at will on the break and when driving into the lane. Nick was his usual bad self, scoring many useful close baskets and protecting the lane with vigour blocking shots at will (including ta late one on a little short ass). Jamie played with heart as usual and scored some hard earned points in the second half, without the help of his trademark goggles. Ben "Fuckface" Begoucki was as usual, late. Even though he was told numerous times to turn up early, he of course didn't. The hero of the night though was Andre VanboHeroin who hit the game winner with 30 seconds left with his trademark pullup shot on the break. He credits his performance to smoking more cigarettes and drinking more coke than usual.

All up the win was the culmination ("culmination!!") of a seasons hard work and desire. GO FISH!!!

P.S. Bad luck to Weiner Boy Humbs who quit the team last year to chase his dreams of pissing on bars throughout the world.

A couple of  young punks rode around the city on a scooter with a siren on their heads scaring people into thinking they were the police. They especially tried terrorising women that seemed to be on the run from the law. Asian tourists and the elderly were also picked on as they drove circles around them scaring the hell out of them. One bystander was quoted as saying "I remember when this city was a great place to live. There were no hoodlums". Tourism is set to nose dive now with the knowledge that a motorised scooter gang are starting to roam the streets. The police as of yet have no leads, although they were sighted carving up a local skate ramp at the end of the day  yelling "see you tomorrow loser!!". Whom they were speaking to is still to be determined. This reporter has no knowledge of who these punks are for fear of incriminating himself.

A sketch made from an eye witness account.

Congratulations to clintoncherry.com reporter, Jean Pazin, on guiding his team to the championship. Uwe Blab Fish have long been a dominant performer in the world of basketball and backed that up by winning the championship on Wednesday evening. Team captain Pazin was quoted as saying "We rule!!". In the victory speech Pazin made special note  to mention the other team by saying "Those guys sucked ass!!" and "We've played guys that sucked before, but those guys sucked. They were the worst bunch of suckiest sucks that ever sucked".

It was a hard slog of a game though with plenty of good hussle ("good hussle!!), with Mr Sheen himself (Pazin) cleaning the glass all night long. Cabassanossi as usual managed to score at will on the break and when driving into the lane. Nick was his usual bad self, scoring many useful close baskets and protecting the lane with vigour blocking shots at will (including ta late one on a little short ass). Jamie played with heart as usual and scored some hard earned points in the second half, without the help of his trademark goggles. Ben "Fuckface" Begoucki was as usual, late. Even though he was told numerous times to turn up early, he of course didn't. The hero of the night though was Andre VanboHeroin who hit the game winner with 30 seconds left with his trademark pullup shot on the break. He credits his performance to smoking more cigarettes and drinking more coke than usual.

All up the win was the culmination ("culmination!!") of a seasons hard work and desire. GO FISH!!!

P.S. Bad luck to Weiner Boy Humbs who quit the team last year to chase his dreams of pissing on bars throughout the world.

The eagles today announced John "Woosha" Worsfold as the coach of the West Coast Eagles for part of next season. In the tradition of recent events in football, it is expected that if he can't win a match with them within about 5 weeks, his fate will ultimately end on the chopping board, and with the "brilliant" squad the eagles have managed to hang on to for next year, without having to trade anyone, this result is almost inevitable.

Woosha though had different thoughts on the matter saying he was going to introduce his own playing style into his coaching. Players not playing to their potential better be careful as a fired up woosha heading to the huddle at quarter time is definitely going to leave a number of players scared and shaken up. Trevor Nisbitt of the eagles staff has said in the wake of the new coach they are likely to have several stretchers on stand by in the eagles huddles in the event of a "woosha" charge. It is also expected the eagles are going to develop a heavy weights program over the summer in a bid to make a hitman squad. According to woosha "if you can't beat them, kill 'em, and you'll win by default".

Naaaa..Toms not gay!

A few days ago Jean Pazin reported that Nicole Kidman and the Counting Crows lead singer were dating......nothing could be futher from the truth as I discovered early this week.

Since seperating from Tom recently, the glam has been linked with the gladiator, the counting crows frountman, phil smith, George Clooney, the director of Moulin Rouge and Clinton Cherry.

This goes to prove that if your a gay fag then you'll only end up with a mexican scrag and if your a hot glam then you can have anyone you want.........even the cherry! The latest goss is that Nicole Kidman is romantically linked with Robbie Williams. You go girl!!

Nicole and Robbie

Nicole Kidman and English pop star Robbie Williams reportedly stripped naked in a raunchy pop video filmed at a secret location in London last week.

The Australian actress is left wearing just a diamond necklace and clutching a diamond purse in the steamy video for the pair's single, a cover version of the Frank and Nancy Sinatra hit Somethin' Stupid, British newspaper the Daily Star says.

The jewellery alone is worth STG6.7 million ($A18.3 million) - STG5.5 million for the necklace and STG1.2 million for the purse - while Williams strips down to just his STG20,000 ($A55,000) wristwatch.

The red, pink and white diamond necklace, heart-shaped evening purse and Roberge M31 watch were laid on by exclusive jeweller Mouwad.

Heavy security was on hand at the film set in Acton, west London, to protect both the stars and the jewels.

The video was filmed on a closed set to restrict to a bare minimum the number of crew watching.

Set in the 1950s and directed by Vaughan Arnell, who worked on many of the Spice Girls' early videos, it starts with Kidman in a pair of transparent beige pyjamas.

Williams, in yellow pyjamas, slowly unwraps her and strips off himself before the couple share a passionate kiss in the nude.

Shooting finished at midnight last Friday and all unused footage will be destroyed.

There has been speculation the two may have been doing some private rehearsing, with Williams photographed leaving Kidman's hotel at 3am the night before the shoot.

Onlookers at the set said the pair could not keep their hands off each other even when the cameras were not rolling.

"Robbie spent no time in his trailer during filming because he was always in Nicole's," one source told the paper.

Kidman has stripped before - on stage in London's West End in the play The Blue Room, and with her then husband Tom Cruise in the movie Eyes Wide Shut.

Michael Jordan could not play today because he has a sore foot. Boo Hoo. Jordan told this reporter that "I am a big pussy! I can't believe what a pussy I am. I think I might just quit now so then I won't have to have Kobe embaress me and Shaq dunk on my old ass". After convincing him to play on, he said "allright, but you can bet I'll be sick or something when I have to play the Lakers". For more details: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/nba/wizards/2001-10-16-mj.htm

Greg and Kate at Pooh B'Day Party

The world's most famous bear, A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, celebrated his birthday this weekend having enchanted children around the world for 75 years, reports Greg Ryan who was on hand with the lovely Kate Wintle for the surprise party of the year.  

Pooh, created after Milne's 5-year-old son, Christopher Robin, saw a real black bear called Winnie at London Zoo, first appeared in a short story published in a London newspaper.

The party was bitchen and Pooh Bear got totally smashed after doing numerous funnels. All the other animals were on hand for the birthday celebration and Tigger was so proud of his 75 year old buddy constantly cheering “chug chug chug!”

 

Happy birthday Pooh boy….

The eagles today announced John "Woosha" Worsfold as the coach of the West Coast Eagles for part of next season. In the tradition of recent events in football, it is expected that if he can't win a match with them within about 5 weeks, his fate will ultimately end on the chopping board, and with the "brilliant" squad the eagles have managed to hang on to for next year, without having to trade anyone, this result is almost inevitable.

Woosha though had different thoughts on the matter saying he was going to introduce his own playing style into his coaching. Players not playing to their potential better be careful as a fired up woosha heading to the huddle at quarter time is definitely going to leave a number of players scared and shaken up. Trevor Nisbitt of the eagles staff has said in the wake of the new coach they are likely to have several stretchers on stand by in the eagles huddles in the event of a "woosha" charge. It is also expected the eagles are going to develop a heavy weights program over the summer in a bid to make a hitman squad. According to woosha "if you can't beat them, kill 'em, and you'll win by default".

Naaaa..Toms not gay!

A few days ago Jean Pazin reported that Nicole Kidman and the Counting Crows lead singer were dating......nothing could be futher from the truth as I discovered early this week.

Since seperating from Tom recently, the glam has been linked with the gladiator, the counting crows frountman, phil smith, George Clooney, the director of Moulin Rouge and Clinton Cherry.

This goes to prove that if your a gay fag then you'll only end up with a mexican scrag and if your a hot glam then you can have anyone you want.........even the cherry! The latest goss is that Nicole Kidman is romantically linked with Robbie Williams. You go girl!!

Nicole and Robbie

Nicole Kidman and English pop star Robbie Williams reportedly stripped naked in a raunchy pop video filmed at a secret location in London last week.

The Australian actress is left wearing just a diamond necklace and clutching a diamond purse in the steamy video for the pair's single, a cover version of the Frank and Nancy Sinatra hit Somethin' Stupid, British newspaper the Daily Star says.

The jewellery alone is worth STG6.7 million ($A18.3 million) - STG5.5 million for the necklace and STG1.2 million for the purse - while Williams strips down to just his STG20,000 ($A55,000) wristwatch.

The red, pink and white diamond necklace, heart-shaped evening purse and Roberge M31 watch were laid on by exclusive jeweller Mouwad.

Heavy security was on hand at the film set in Acton, west London, to protect both the stars and the jewels.

The video was filmed on a closed set to restrict to a bare minimum the number of crew watching.

Set in the 1950s and directed by Vaughan Arnell, who worked on many of the Spice Girls' early videos, it starts with Kidman in a pair of transparent beige pyjamas.

Williams, in yellow pyjamas, slowly unwraps her and strips off himself before the couple share a passionate kiss in the nude.

Shooting finished at midnight last Friday and all unused footage will be destroyed.

There has been speculation the two may have been doing some private rehearsing, with Williams photographed leaving Kidman's hotel at 3am the night before the shoot.

Onlookers at the set said the pair could not keep their hands off each other even when the cameras were not rolling.

"Robbie spent no time in his trailer during filming because he was always in Nicole's," one source told the paper.

Kidman has stripped before - on stage in London's West End in the play The Blue Room, and with her then husband Tom Cruise in the movie Eyes Wide Shut.

Michael Jordan could not play today because he has a sore foot. Boo Hoo. Jordan told this reporter that "I am a big pussy! I can't believe what a pussy I am. I think I might just quit now so then I won't have to have Kobe embaress me and Shaq dunk on my old ass". After convincing him to play on, he said "allright, but you can bet I'll be sick or something when I have to play the Lakers". For more details: http://www.usatoday.com/sports/nba/wizards/2001-10-16-mj.htm

Greg and Kate at Pooh B'Day Party

The world's most famous bear, A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, celebrated his birthday this weekend having enchanted children around the world for 75 years, reports Greg Ryan who was on hand with the lovely Kate Wintle for the surprise party of the year.  

Pooh, created after Milne's 5-year-old son, Christopher Robin, saw a real black bear called Winnie at London Zoo, first appeared in a short story published in a London newspaper.

The party was bitchen and Pooh Bear got totally smashed after doing numerous funnels. All the other animals were on hand for the birthday celebration and Tigger was so proud of his 75 year old buddy constantly cheering “chug chug chug!”

 

Happy birthday Pooh boy….

Michael Jordan is definately back and so is his tongue. Jordan told this reporter "it's gonna take a while, but I expect my butt to be whipped by all the white boys in the league". Jon Barry, who is white, absolutely embaressed Jordan, scoring 29 points on him in only one quarter, after his his team the Detroit Pistons killed the Wizards. Barry said "that guy sucks ass".

Nicole Kidman is now officially dating again, and it seems that it is all as an attempt to get back at her recently seperated husband, Tommy Boy Cruise. The new man is that tool from the Counting Crows who wears a dicklock hair style because he thinks he is Jamaican. Kidman was quoted as saying "everyone is used to me dating a supposed homosexual, so I thought I may as well date a guy that people think is a total gayboy". The guy from Counting Crows only had this to say: "Yea Mon". Tommy Boy is apparently really, really pissed as he has had a long time crush on the guy and exclusively told Gregs Goss that "I'm really jealous of Nicole. And pissed. She knew that I had the hots for that guy and she is just doing it to get back at me, and it's working. I'm devastated. I have to cry myself to sleep everynight. Also, my relationship with former Australian Basketball head coach Phil Smith is falling apart".

Michael Jordan is definately back and so is his tongue. Jordan told this reporter "it's gonna take a while, but I expect my butt to be whipped by all the white boys in the league". Jon Barry, who is white, absolutely embaressed Jordan, scoring 29 points on him in only one quarter, after his his team the Detroit Pistons killed the Wizards. Barry said "that guy sucks ass".

Nicole Kidman is now officially dating again, and it seems that it is all as an attempt to get back at her recently seperated husband, Tommy Boy Cruise. The new man is that tool from the Counting Crows who wears a dicklock hair style because he thinks he is Jamaican. Kidman was quoted as saying "everyone is used to me dating a supposed homosexual, so I thought I may as well date a guy that people think is a total gayboy". The guy from Counting Crows only had this to say: "Yea Mon". Tommy Boy is apparently really, really pissed as he has had a long time crush on the guy and exclusively told Gregs Goss that "I'm really jealous of Nicole. And pissed. She knew that I had the hots for that guy and she is just doing it to get back at me, and it's working. I'm devastated. I have to cry myself to sleep everynight. Also, my relationship with former Australian Basketball head coach Phil Smith is falling apart".

Here is sort of what the Big Day Out is like except it's not Woodstock its the Big Day Out and its in Australia

For any of you who gives a shit the first lot of bands for Big Day Out 2002 have been announced.From foreign shores we have:-
PRODIGY
Friendly, hard working lads from England that love snow boarding & poetry.
CRYSTAL METHOD
Los Angeles'’ finest dance import, love fast cars & bowling.
NEW ORDER
Manchesters' cornerstone of music. Always up for a laugh at the pub.
NOFX
Sometimes misunderstood, thinking persons punk band. Love twister.
GARBAGE
A dynamic international collective that enjoy shopping & astrology
DAVE CLARKE
UK DJ dynamo. Hobbies include train spotting & taxidermy.

And from the home front are:-
GERLING
Always the center of the party. Like meeting interesting people & flying.
SHIHAD
New Zealands' best exponents of rock. Collectors of ceramic toothpicks.
GRINSPOON
Run out of Lismore for vibing out the locals. Dislike incense & tarot cards.
REGURGITATOR
Unpredictable music maestros. Like incense & tarot cards.
MAGIC DIRT
Intense music for fun people. Often seen helping lost tourists.
SUPERHEIST
Most likely band to fall off stage. Hobbies include genetic engineering

Tickets on sale Friday week I believe.
For more info go to www.bigdayout.com

Here is sort of what the Big Day Out is like except it's not Woodstock its the Big Day Out and its in Australia

For any of you who gives a shit the first lot of bands for Big Day Out 2002 have been announced.From foreign shores we have:-
PRODIGY
Friendly, hard working lads from England that love snow boarding & poetry.
CRYSTAL METHOD
Los Angeles'’ finest dance import, love fast cars & bowling.
NEW ORDER
Manchesters' cornerstone of music. Always up for a laugh at the pub.
NOFX
Sometimes misunderstood, thinking persons punk band. Love twister.
GARBAGE
A dynamic international collective that enjoy shopping & astrology
DAVE CLARKE
UK DJ dynamo. Hobbies include train spotting & taxidermy.

And from the home front are:-
GERLING
Always the center of the party. Like meeting interesting people & flying.
SHIHAD
New Zealands' best exponents of rock. Collectors of ceramic toothpicks.
GRINSPOON
Run out of Lismore for vibing out the locals. Dislike incense & tarot cards.
REGURGITATOR
Unpredictable music maestros. Like incense & tarot cards.
MAGIC DIRT
Intense music for fun people. Often seen helping lost tourists.
SUPERHEIST
Most likely band to fall off stage. Hobbies include genetic engineering

Tickets on sale Friday week I believe.
For more info go to www.bigdayout.com

Noooooooooo.........
Clinton Bizzell is Gone. Worse still, we traded him to Melbourne. Sorry Clint! Welcome homeGrgic.

The crazy trade period has finished and below are all the movements. Freo did the best, Hawthorn the worst and Essendon lost to brisbane - sucked in.

ADELAIDE

Received
Ben Nelson from Carlton
Kris Massie from Carlton
Ryan Fitzgerald from Sydney
Daniel Schell from Fremantle

Traded
David Gallagher to Carlton
Andrew Eccles to Carlton
Peter Vardy to Melbourne
Second Round Selection (currently number 28) to Sydney

BRISBANE LIONS

Received
Third Round Selection (currently number 45 from St Kilda)
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) from Richmond, via Western Bulldogs on-trade (then on-traded)

Traded
Shannon Rusca to the Western Bulldogs
Marcus Picken to the Western Bulldogs
Trent Knobel to St Kilda

CARLTON

Received
David Gallagher from Adelaide
Andrew Eccles from Adelaide
Corey McKernan from the Kangaroos
Lindsay Smith from the Kangaroos
Justin Murphy from Geelong
Third Round Selection (currently number 39) from the Kangaroos
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) from the Kangaroos (then on-traded)

Traded
Ben Nelson to Adelaide
Kris Massie to Adelaide
Mark Porter to the Kangaroos
First Round Selection (currently number 14) to the Kangaroos
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) to Geelong
Second Round Selection (currently number 30) to the Kangaroos
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 62) to the Kangaroos

COLLINGWOOD -- did not trade

ESSENDON

Received
Second Round Selection (currently number 31) from Port Adelaide
Third Round Selection (currently number 47) from Port Adelaide

Traded
Damien Hardwick to Port Adelaide

FREMANTLE

Received
Trent Croad from Hawthorn
Luke McPharlin from Hawthorn
Troy Simmonds from Melbourne
Jeff Farmer from Melbourne
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 57) from Melbourne
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney and St Kilda on-trades (then on-traded)

Traded
Daniel Schell to Adelaide
Daniel Bandy to the Western Bulldogs
Heath Black to St Kilda
Priority Pick One to Hawthorn
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Melbourne
Second Round Selection (currently number 20) to Hawthorn
Third Round Selection (currently number 36) to Hawthorn

GEELONG

Received
Brent Grgic from Melbourne
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney, St Kilda, Fremantle and Melbourne on-trades
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) from the Kangaroos, via Carlton on-trade
Third Round Selection (currently number 41) from Melbourne

Traded
Justin Murphy to Carlton
Clint Bizzell to Melbourne
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 56) to Melbourne

HAWTHORN

Received
Priority Pick One from Fremantle
Second Round Selection (currently number 20) from Fremantle
Third Round Selection (currently number 36) from Fremantle

Traded
Trent Croad to Fremantle
Luke McPharlin to Fremantle

KANGAROOS

Received
Mark Porter from Carlton
David Bourke from Richmond
First Round Selection (currently number 14) from Carlton
Selection Round Selection (currently number 30) from Carlton
Fourth Round Selection (currrently number 62) from Carlton

Traded
Corey McKernan to Carlton
Lindsay Smith to Carlton
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) to Geelong, via Carlton on-trade
Third Round Selection (currently number 39) to Carlton
Fifth Round Selection (currently number 71) to Richmond

MELBOURNE

Received
Peter Vardy from Adelaide
Craig Ellis from the Western Bulldogs
Clint Bizzell from Geelong
Second Round Selection (currently number 26) from the Western Bulldogs
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 56) from Geelong
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney, St Kilda and Fremantle on-trades (then on-traded)

Traded
Troy Simmonds to Fremantle
Jeff Farmer to Fremantle
Brent Grgic to Geelong
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Geelong
Third Round Selection (currently number 41) to Geelong
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 57) to Fremantle

PORT ADELAIDE

Received
Damien Hardwick from Essendon

Traded
Second Round Selection (currently number 31) to Essendon
Third Round Selection (currently number 47) to Essendon

RICHMOND

Received
Greg Stafford from Sydney
Paul Hudson from the Western Bulldogs
Fifth Round Selection (currently number 71) from the Kangaroos

Traded
Nick Daffy to Sydney
David Bourke to the Kangaroos
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Geelong, via Sydney, St Kilda, Fremantle and Melbourne on-trades
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) to St Kilda, via Western Bulldogs and Brisbane Lions on-trades

ST KILDA

Received
Heath Black from Fremantle
Trent Knobel from the Brisbane Lions
First Round Selection (currently number 13) from Sydney
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) from Richmond, via Western Bulldogs and Brisbane Lions on-trades
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney on-trade (then on-traded)
Third Round Selection (currently number 45) from Sydney (then on-traded)

Traded
Barry Hall to Sydney
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Fremantle
Third Round Selection (currently number 45) to the Brisbane Lions
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 53) to Sydney

SYDNEY

Received
Nick Daffy from Richmond
Barry Hall from St Kilda
Second Round Selection (currently number 28) from Adelaide
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 53) from St Kilda
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond (then on-traded)

Traded
Greg Stafford to Richmond
Ryan Fitzgerald to Adelaide
First Round Selection (currently number 13) to St Kilda
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to St Kilda
Third Round Selection (currently number 45) to the Brisbane Lions, via St Kilda on-trade

WEST COAST -- did not trade

WESTERN BULLDOGS

Received
Daniel Bandy from Fremantle
Shannon Rusca from the Brisbane Lions
Marcus Picken from the Brisbane Lions
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) from Richmond (then on-traded)

Traded
Craig Ellis to Melbourne
Paul Hudson to Richmond
Second Round Selection (currently number 26) to Melbourne
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) to the Brisbane Lions

One of the world's most eligible bachelors George Clooney is eligible no more, reports Greg Ryan.

The chiselled leading man has hooked up, very quietly, with Renee Zellweger.

The two have been an item for over a month, and have reportedly tried to keep it on the down-low by staying in at Clooney's Hollywood Hills home, rather than hitting the town.

Greg Ryan, a friend of Clooney's, tells Gregs Goss: ``They are definitely hanging out a lot and seeing each other. I like Renee loads - she is such a fun, charming person.''

However, he says Clooney isn't thinking of getting too serious, and that the most important relationship the hunk has is with his pet, a potbellied pig.

``I hope he settles down with Renee because I know how wonderful it is to be in love. But that is George's choice,'' Ryan says.

Zellweger, perhaps best known for her line ``You had me at hello'' to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, recently ended a serious year-long relationship with comic actor and fellow Me, Myself & Irene star Jim Carrey.

According to the New York Daily News, the pair were engaged to be married, which would have been the third marriage for Carrey.

You heard it first......

With the recent regulations coming into place over mobile phones in cars, there has been a surge in sales of handsfree kits. But one leading manufacturer has blown the competitors out of the water with their versatile handsfree kit. Costing a measly 5 cents this fantastic device is compatable with almost any head size and can be found in most department and retail stores.

Kane can be seen below modelling this fantastic new device which is sure to be snapped up by eager phone users. A new online store will be set up shortly on www.clintoncherry.com to sell these great devices.

Noooooooooo.........
Clinton Bizzell is Gone. Worse still, we traded him to Melbourne. Sorry Clint! Welcome homeGrgic.

The crazy trade period has finished and below are all the movements. Freo did the best, Hawthorn the worst and Essendon lost to brisbane - sucked in.

ADELAIDE

Received
Ben Nelson from Carlton
Kris Massie from Carlton
Ryan Fitzgerald from Sydney
Daniel Schell from Fremantle

Traded
David Gallagher to Carlton
Andrew Eccles to Carlton
Peter Vardy to Melbourne
Second Round Selection (currently number 28) to Sydney

BRISBANE LIONS

Received
Third Round Selection (currently number 45 from St Kilda)
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) from Richmond, via Western Bulldogs on-trade (then on-traded)

Traded
Shannon Rusca to the Western Bulldogs
Marcus Picken to the Western Bulldogs
Trent Knobel to St Kilda

CARLTON

Received
David Gallagher from Adelaide
Andrew Eccles from Adelaide
Corey McKernan from the Kangaroos
Lindsay Smith from the Kangaroos
Justin Murphy from Geelong
Third Round Selection (currently number 39) from the Kangaroos
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) from the Kangaroos (then on-traded)

Traded
Ben Nelson to Adelaide
Kris Massie to Adelaide
Mark Porter to the Kangaroos
First Round Selection (currently number 14) to the Kangaroos
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) to Geelong
Second Round Selection (currently number 30) to the Kangaroos
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 62) to the Kangaroos

COLLINGWOOD -- did not trade

ESSENDON

Received
Second Round Selection (currently number 31) from Port Adelaide
Third Round Selection (currently number 47) from Port Adelaide

Traded
Damien Hardwick to Port Adelaide

FREMANTLE

Received
Trent Croad from Hawthorn
Luke McPharlin from Hawthorn
Troy Simmonds from Melbourne
Jeff Farmer from Melbourne
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 57) from Melbourne
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney and St Kilda on-trades (then on-traded)

Traded
Daniel Schell to Adelaide
Daniel Bandy to the Western Bulldogs
Heath Black to St Kilda
Priority Pick One to Hawthorn
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Melbourne
Second Round Selection (currently number 20) to Hawthorn
Third Round Selection (currently number 36) to Hawthorn

GEELONG

Received
Brent Grgic from Melbourne
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney, St Kilda, Fremantle and Melbourne on-trades
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) from the Kangaroos, via Carlton on-trade
Third Round Selection (currently number 41) from Melbourne

Traded
Justin Murphy to Carlton
Clint Bizzell to Melbourne
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 56) to Melbourne

HAWTHORN

Received
Priority Pick One from Fremantle
Second Round Selection (currently number 20) from Fremantle
Third Round Selection (currently number 36) from Fremantle

Traded
Trent Croad to Fremantle
Luke McPharlin to Fremantle

KANGAROOS

Received
Mark Porter from Carlton
David Bourke from Richmond
First Round Selection (currently number 14) from Carlton
Selection Round Selection (currently number 30) from Carlton
Fourth Round Selection (currrently number 62) from Carlton

Traded
Corey McKernan to Carlton
Lindsay Smith to Carlton
Second Round Selection (currently number 23) to Geelong, via Carlton on-trade
Third Round Selection (currently number 39) to Carlton
Fifth Round Selection (currently number 71) to Richmond

MELBOURNE

Received
Peter Vardy from Adelaide
Craig Ellis from the Western Bulldogs
Clint Bizzell from Geelong
Second Round Selection (currently number 26) from the Western Bulldogs
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 56) from Geelong
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney, St Kilda and Fremantle on-trades (then on-traded)

Traded
Troy Simmonds to Fremantle
Jeff Farmer to Fremantle
Brent Grgic to Geelong
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Geelong
Third Round Selection (currently number 41) to Geelong
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 57) to Fremantle

PORT ADELAIDE

Received
Damien Hardwick from Essendon

Traded
Second Round Selection (currently number 31) to Essendon
Third Round Selection (currently number 47) to Essendon

RICHMOND

Received
Greg Stafford from Sydney
Paul Hudson from the Western Bulldogs
Fifth Round Selection (currently number 71) from the Kangaroos

Traded
Nick Daffy to Sydney
David Bourke to the Kangaroos
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Geelong, via Sydney, St Kilda, Fremantle and Melbourne on-trades
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) to St Kilda, via Western Bulldogs and Brisbane Lions on-trades

ST KILDA

Received
Heath Black from Fremantle
Trent Knobel from the Brisbane Lions
First Round Selection (currently number 13) from Sydney
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) from Richmond, via Western Bulldogs and Brisbane Lions on-trades
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond, via Sydney on-trade (then on-traded)
Third Round Selection (currently number 45) from Sydney (then on-traded)

Traded
Barry Hall to Sydney
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to Fremantle
Third Round Selection (currently number 45) to the Brisbane Lions
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 53) to Sydney

SYDNEY

Received
Nick Daffy from Richmond
Barry Hall from St Kilda
Second Round Selection (currently number 28) from Adelaide
Fourth Round Selection (currently number 53) from St Kilda
First Round Selection (currently number 17) from Richmond (then on-traded)

Traded
Greg Stafford to Richmond
Ryan Fitzgerald to Adelaide
First Round Selection (currently number 13) to St Kilda
First Round Selection (currently number 17) to St Kilda
Third Round Selection (currently number 45) to the Brisbane Lions, via St Kilda on-trade

WEST COAST -- did not trade

WESTERN BULLDOGS

Received
Daniel Bandy from Fremantle
Shannon Rusca from the Brisbane Lions
Marcus Picken from the Brisbane Lions
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) from Richmond (then on-traded)

Traded
Craig Ellis to Melbourne
Paul Hudson to Richmond
Second Round Selection (currently number 26) to Melbourne
Third Round Selection (currently number 49) to the Brisbane Lions

One of the world's most eligible bachelors George Clooney is eligible no more, reports Greg Ryan.

The chiselled leading man has hooked up, very quietly, with Renee Zellweger.

The two have been an item for over a month, and have reportedly tried to keep it on the down-low by staying in at Clooney's Hollywood Hills home, rather than hitting the town.

Greg Ryan, a friend of Clooney's, tells Gregs Goss: ``They are definitely hanging out a lot and seeing each other. I like Renee loads - she is such a fun, charming person.''

However, he says Clooney isn't thinking of getting too serious, and that the most important relationship the hunk has is with his pet, a potbellied pig.

``I hope he settles down with Renee because I know how wonderful it is to be in love. But that is George's choice,'' Ryan says.

Zellweger, perhaps best known for her line ``You had me at hello'' to Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, recently ended a serious year-long relationship with comic actor and fellow Me, Myself & Irene star Jim Carrey.

According to the New York Daily News, the pair were engaged to be married, which would have been the third marriage for Carrey.

You heard it first......

With the recent regulations coming into place over mobile phones in cars, there has been a surge in sales of handsfree kits. But one leading manufacturer has blown the competitors out of the water with their versatile handsfree kit. Costing a measly 5 cents this fantastic device is compatable with almost any head size and can be found in most department and retail stores.

Kane can be seen below modelling this fantastic new device which is sure to be snapped up by eager phone users. A new online store will be set up shortly on www.clintoncherry.com to sell these great devices.

On Saturday afternoon Kate Wintle challenged Greg Ryan to a game of ping pong.  Greg was not very excited about this as he thought it would not be much of a challenge, as those who know Greg know that he thinks he kicks ass at every thing.  Usually Kate humours Greg by allowing him to think this, but Greg was blown away by Kate's ping pong ability. Greg won the first set however this was no surprise to Kate as she was still warming up, and had not played the game for over 12 years.  But Kate came back to win the next four  sets , and very easily and calmly kicking gregs ass during this stage of the match.  Kate made the mistake of relaxing and drinking champagne during the next set which ultimately affected her game and Greg came back to just win the next few sets to make him the first to win five games.  However Kate will challenge Greg to another match when she has had more than 45 minutes sleep the night before.  Greg you suck at pingpong. 

 By Kate the champ Wintle

 

On Saturday afternoon Kate Wintle challenged Greg Ryan to a game of ping pong.  Greg was not very excited about this as he thought it would not be much of a challenge, as those who know Greg know that he thinks he kicks ass at every thing.  Usually Kate humours Greg by allowing him to think this, but Greg was blown away by Kate's ping pong ability. Greg won the first set however this was no surprise to Kate as she was still warming up, and had not played the game for over 12 years.  But Kate came back to win the next four  sets , and very easily and calmly kicking gregs ass during this stage of the match.  Kate made the mistake of relaxing and drinking champagne during the next set which ultimately affected her game and Greg came back to just win the next few sets to make him the first to win five games.  However Kate will challenge Greg to another match when she has had more than 45 minutes sleep the night before.  Greg you suck at pingpong. 

 By Kate the champ Wintle

 

In one of Geelong greatest trades ever, Justin Murphy today became a docker in exchange for Adrian Fletcher.

Justin Murphy is the crapest player to ever play the game and showed his total stupidity at requesting to be traded back to Carlton only one year after fat John Elliot gave him the middle finger and Geelong came to his rescue to give him another chance. Whilst the slightly talented midfielder came third in Geelongs Fairest and Best the club could not be happier with the trade.

Problems began to surface eariler this year during the clash between Geelong and murphys previous team Carlton. During the match Geelong - trailing badly as usual - began playing the man and beating Carltons old crippled butts. Murphy began to cry and started having a go at many of the geelong players. Bomber "the magian" Thompson came down to ground level and told Murphy to sit down and shut his punk ass mouth up whilst also pointing out that murphy was on the bench because he couldnt cut it in the talented 2002 squad.

The trade of Murphy to fremantle was in retailiation to Murphys request to return to Optus oval. Instead, in a brilliant manuover Greg Ryan negotiated with Plugger  " trading god" Birkin to move the crab as far away from optus oval and to the crapest team ever - West coast would talk and therefore the went to the next crappiest team and Fremantle accepted.

Sucked in Murphy you wont be wear this jumper again suck boy!!

Baker hits off another winner

In what could be called almost perfect conditions Jason "In Rod we Trust" Baker and Rod "The Bullet" *(surname unknown) pulled off an absolutely astounding and miraculous upset at the inaugural Club Hillarys Doubles Open Championship near the Coast of Western Australia's fantastic beaches. In an epic struggle lasting over 2 hours the unknown couple ended up winners 6-3,3-6,6-3 before they also won the dead rubber 6-2.

After a controversial start, where good light forced the players to a new court, where lighting conditions where more suspect, thanks to the local curator, the game got off to a very tight start. Cherry and Ryan held strong, like the champions they are, while the two young rookies tried to penetrate the unbreakable defence and ground play the two set up. However, late in the first set Bakes and Rod pulled off the unthinkable and broke serve, giving them the first and perhaps most important set.

"In Rod we trust"

Cherry and Ryan weren't about to lie down and die though, and fought back strongly in the second set. The two smashed their opponents all over the court, leaving the rookies astounded by the champions brilliance in volleying, serving and general ground play. Before Rod and Jas could even breathe, Cherry and Ryan had blown the set away and evened the match at a set all, setting up a BIG final set.

The champions took their confidence and form into the final set, and early looked likely winners. But as fate so often works in mysterious ways, as Brisbane won the grand final, as Scandal'us won an ARIA and as Keanan managed to score a chick, Jason and Rod managed to pull off the unbelievable and come home with a stirring final set to pull off the upset of 2001. The previously undefeated pair of Ryan and Cherry were obviously shocked by the result, but shook off speculation that they were playing under obvious injury clouds, commending the rookies win, but lamenting their own loss.

The losing boys lament their loss...

The two teams also continued on and played another "dead rubber" set to keep the eager fans on the edges of their sets as the two teams mucked it up and had a bit of fun. But as much as their was fun in the game, everyone now eagerly waits for the anticipated rematch which could see a much more fired up Ryan and Cherry looking to regain the crown in weeks to come.

In one of Geelong greatest trades ever, Justin Murphy today became a docker in exchange for Adrian Fletcher.

Justin Murphy is the crapest player to ever play the game and showed his total stupidity at requesting to be traded back to Carlton only one year after fat John Elliot gave him the middle finger and Geelong came to his rescue to give him another chance. Whilst the slightly talented midfielder came third in Geelongs Fairest and Best the club could not be happier with the trade.

Problems began to surface eariler this year during the clash between Geelong and murphys previous team Carlton. During the match Geelong - trailing badly as usual - began playing the man and beating Carltons old crippled butts. Murphy began to cry and started having a go at many of the geelong players. Bomber "the magian" Thompson came down to ground level and told Murphy to sit down and shut his punk ass mouth up whilst also pointing out that murphy was on the bench because he couldnt cut it in the talented 2002 squad.

The trade of Murphy to fremantle was in retailiation to Murphys request to return to Optus oval. Instead, in a brilliant manuover Greg Ryan negotiated with Plugger  " trading god" Birkin to move the crab as far away from optus oval and to the crapest team ever - West coast would talk and therefore the went to the next crappiest team and Fremantle accepted.

Sucked in Murphy you wont be wear this jumper again suck boy!!

Baker hits off another winner

In what could be called almost perfect conditions Jason "In Rod we Trust" Baker and Rod "The Bullet" *(surname unknown) pulled off an absolutely astounding and miraculous upset at the inaugural Club Hillarys Doubles Open Championship near the Coast of Western Australia's fantastic beaches. In an epic struggle lasting over 2 hours the unknown couple ended up winners 6-3,3-6,6-3 before they also won the dead rubber 6-2.

After a controversial start, where good light forced the players to a new court, where lighting conditions where more suspect, thanks to the local curator, the game got off to a very tight start. Cherry and Ryan held strong, like the champions they are, while the two young rookies tried to penetrate the unbreakable defence and ground play the two set up. However, late in the first set Bakes and Rod pulled off the unthinkable and broke serve, giving them the first and perhaps most important set.

"In Rod we trust"

Cherry and Ryan weren't about to lie down and die though, and fought back strongly in the second set. The two smashed their opponents all over the court, leaving the rookies astounded by the champions brilliance in volleying, serving and general ground play. Before Rod and Jas could even breathe, Cherry and Ryan had blown the set away and evened the match at a set all, setting up a BIG final set.

The champions took their confidence and form into the final set, and early looked likely winners. But as fate so often works in mysterious ways, as Brisbane won the grand final, as Scandal'us won an ARIA and as Keanan managed to score a chick, Jason and Rod managed to pull off the unbelievable and come home with a stirring final set to pull off the upset of 2001. The previously undefeated pair of Ryan and Cherry were obviously shocked by the result, but shook off speculation that they were playing under obvious injury clouds, commending the rookies win, but lamenting their own loss.

The losing boys lament their loss...

The two teams also continued on and played another "dead rubber" set to keep the eager fans on the edges of their sets as the two teams mucked it up and had a bit of fun. But as much as their was fun in the game, everyone now eagerly waits for the anticipated rematch which could see a much more fired up Ryan and Cherry looking to regain the crown in weeks to come.

Our very own CC.com writers have last week under gone extensive training to partake in this year’s Bathurst 2001 at Mt Panorama.

 

 

Both Greg Ryan and Clinton Cherry are confident with their abilities to take out this year’s event. Sponsors IBM, EPSON and Verbatim are keen to provide support and a legion of fans are at the ready to wave the boys across the victory line.

 

 

Driving the new Pentium IV enhanced Hewitt Packard HSV 2001 series II, the boys are hoping to post a good lap time to secure a top four starting position off the grid.

 

Co-driver Ryan commented that all was well in the CC camp, with the engine doing everything that was expected of it and the tyres performing adequately.

 

Cherry was heard talking up the boy’s chances, saying, “Old hacks like Tander, Skaiffe, Perkins and Lowndes had better be checking their mirrors and be ready to jump aside. This track is no place for the old school. Your in my world now chaps!!!”

 

The rest of the CC.com team and support crew wish the boys all the best in their endeavours and we know that they’ll bring home the bacon.

 

Simon Collins

After seeing the movie, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, the HBF bear, Ted has decided to end his own life, apparently by self-decapitation. The reason seems to be due to the fantastic performance by Teddy (who is rumoured for an oscar next year) in the film. Ted could no longer handle teh pressure of being the number two bear, so like the coward he is, he took his own life. Teddy was quoted as saying "He's lucky he killed himself, cause I woulda kicked his ass".

GONE.....!!!
Its Official and you read it first on Gregs Goss

MELBOURNE conceded today it had lost forward Jeff Farmer, one of the AFL's best goalsneaks.

The Demons issued a media release early this afternoon saying Farmer would return to his home state of Western Australia for family reasons.

It means Farmer is set to join Fremantle, which had offered him a lucrative three-year deal.

Melbourne's announcement came after it met this morning with Farmer and his management.

THE Melbourne Football Club reports that after meeting with Jeff Farmer and his management today, Jeff has indicated he wishes to return to Western Australia for family reasons.

The Melbourne Football Club has tried hard to entice Jeff to stay with the Club. Over a seven year career with the Club, he has been an All Australian representative, a Grand Final player and Club leading goal kicker on three occasions.

John Anderson, Chief Executive Officer, today said "The Club's preference at all times during the negotiations was for Jeff to remain a Melbourne player.

Our offer reflected his elite status within our Club, but in the end Jeff's desire to be with his family was the deciding factor."

"We will now actively negotiate with both Western Australian clubs with a view to doing the best deal possible for the Melbourne Football Club", Anderson said.

GO FREO!!! That will teach them for cheating and stealing Jeff White.....

Jason Baker(Pictured above) has thrown down a challenge to Clinton "Ace" Cherry and Greg "Down the line" Ryan in a game of Tennis Doubles.

 

After fits of laughter from Greg it was reveal that he was not joking and a match was scheduled for this Tuesday. Unfortunately, Jasons mum caused a commotion and the match was moved to Thursday night at Harbour Rise Tennis Courts starting at 7:15pm.

 

 

Greg (above left) and Clinton (above right) have long been regarded as the two great tennis icons of Perth and both are primed and ready to dispense of Jason and whoever he choses as his partner- rumoured to be one of the below skirts

 

Ticketmasters were hoping to charge for the tickets but the level of competition for Greg and Clinton doesnt warrent a single dollar... so come one, come all for Free.

 

See ya thursday Jason...Bring ya tissues

Our very own CC.com writers have last week under gone extensive training to partake in this year’s Bathurst 2001 at Mt Panorama.

 

 

Both Greg Ryan and Clinton Cherry are confident with their abilities to take out this year’s event. Sponsors IBM, EPSON and Verbatim are keen to provide support and a legion of fans are at the ready to wave the boys across the victory line.

 

 

Driving the new Pentium IV enhanced Hewitt Packard HSV 2001 series II, the boys are hoping to post a good lap time to secure a top four starting position off the grid.

 

Co-driver Ryan commented that all was well in the CC camp, with the engine doing everything that was expected of it and the tyres performing adequately.

 

Cherry was heard talking up the boy’s chances, saying, “Old hacks like Tander, Skaiffe, Perkins and Lowndes had better be checking their mirrors and be ready to jump aside. This track is no place for the old school. Your in my world now chaps!!!”

 

The rest of the CC.com team and support crew wish the boys all the best in their endeavours and we know that they’ll bring home the bacon.

 

Simon Collins

After seeing the movie, A.I. Artificial Intelligence, the HBF bear, Ted has decided to end his own life, apparently by self-decapitation. The reason seems to be due to the fantastic performance by Teddy (who is rumoured for an oscar next year) in the film. Ted could no longer handle teh pressure of being the number two bear, so like the coward he is, he took his own life. Teddy was quoted as saying "He's lucky he killed himself, cause I woulda kicked his ass".

GONE.....!!!
Its Official and you read it first on Gregs Goss

MELBOURNE conceded today it had lost forward Jeff Farmer, one of the AFL's best goalsneaks.

The Demons issued a media release early this afternoon saying Farmer would return to his home state of Western Australia for family reasons.

It means Farmer is set to join Fremantle, which had offered him a lucrative three-year deal.

Melbourne's announcement came after it met this morning with Farmer and his management.

THE Melbourne Football Club reports that after meeting with Jeff Farmer and his management today, Jeff has indicated he wishes to return to Western Australia for family reasons.

The Melbourne Football Club has tried hard to entice Jeff to stay with the Club. Over a seven year career with the Club, he has been an All Australian representative, a Grand Final player and Club leading goal kicker on three occasions.

John Anderson, Chief Executive Officer, today said "The Club's preference at all times during the negotiations was for Jeff to remain a Melbourne player.

Our offer reflected his elite status within our Club, but in the end Jeff's desire to be with his family was the deciding factor."

"We will now actively negotiate with both Western Australian clubs with a view to doing the best deal possible for the Melbourne Football Club", Anderson said.

GO FREO!!! That will teach them for cheating and stealing Jeff White.....

Jason Baker(Pictured above) has thrown down a challenge to Clinton "Ace" Cherry and Greg "Down the line" Ryan in a game of Tennis Doubles.

 

After fits of laughter from Greg it was reveal that he was not joking and a match was scheduled for this Tuesday. Unfortunately, Jasons mum caused a commotion and the match was moved to Thursday night at Harbour Rise Tennis Courts starting at 7:15pm.

 

 

Greg (above left) and Clinton (above right) have long been regarded as the two great tennis icons of Perth and both are primed and ready to dispense of Jason and whoever he choses as his partner- rumoured to be one of the below skirts

 

Ticketmasters were hoping to charge for the tickets but the level of competition for Greg and Clinton doesnt warrent a single dollar... so come one, come all for Free.

 

See ya thursday Jason...Bring ya tissues

Welcome Back Football….Essendon are no more!!

 

 

The grand final has come and gone but be assured football is back. The Fitzroy Brisbane Bears Lions dominated the arrogant scum from windy hill, who threatened to ruin our beloved game forever, to run away with the treasured AFL Premiership 2001.

 

With Clinton Cherry’s annual grand final party cancelled many of the boys were separated this year but the mutual joy in Essendon losing could be felt over the great distances. " You F$%#en beauty" was screamed down many a phone line as the once mighty essendon crumbled under the pressure quicker than ponting playing against an international team.

 

The joy for most non-Essendon supporters on Saturday came not from brisbane winning but in the form of giving as must crap to the bandwagon dole bludging Essendon supporters – in my case Richard but I’m sure you all had at least one. Three years with a winning percentage of 75% and only one cup - "underachievers" as their president would later be quoted as saying

 

James Hird showed the country how arrogant and how big a sore losers Essendon are by not even thanking Brisbane for whooping their ass. Whilst Dean “Fat ASS” Rioli cried once again the Fitzroy supporters of old joined forces with the whole of Brisbane to sing their merry song.

 

I caught up with the only true Brisbane supporter I know Paul Colley and asked him how did he feel about Brisbane’s great win “get the wheelbarrow ready I’m coming home loaded”. Richard had this to say “I don’t got for Essendon anymore – Go cats”.

 

See ya next year

Protesters have run riot through Perth today in response to Clinton's mum not letting him put on a grand final show this year.

On the eve of the big game, punters vented their frustration at the ending of what has become a tradition of the likes by throwing bricks through shop windows, setting cars alight and knocking over old women.

In a tragic development, the traditional pissup was called off this year for reasons yet to be explained but as MAry Ryan, mother of CC GF regulars Adrian and Greg told CC.com: "You're all bloody shits." We think this might have something to do with it.

The cancellation has left many without a drinking venue on what has become one of the biggest days of the year for young up and coming pissheads, perhaps with the exception of Sparks' Boxing Day Bash. It is understood that several have been forced to make the trek to  a $1 million mansion in Yallingup, some 300k's south of Perth.

CC's GF do's rose to prominence in the late 20th and early 21st centuries and was responsible for such memorable moments as sole Kangaroo fan Munno leaving at 3/4 time in 1998 to the chants "Munno going for a swim doo dah doo dah", Melis and Blocky stealing PC's six pack prize and getting busted (1999), Age sculling in his undies (2000) and Forro falling out of the tree trying to get the footy during end of game kick-to-kick (2000).

Protesters in the streets were heard screaming "It better just be this year CC or you're not our friend any more."

Clinton could not be contacted for comment.

Welcome Back Football….Essendon are no more!!

 

 

The grand final has come and gone but be assured football is back. The Fitzroy Brisbane Bears Lions dominated the arrogant scum from windy hill, who threatened to ruin our beloved game forever, to run away with the treasured AFL Premiership 2001.

 

With Clinton Cherry’s annual grand final party cancelled many of the boys were separated this year but the mutual joy in Essendon losing could be felt over the great distances. " You F$%#en beauty" was screamed down many a phone line as the once mighty essendon crumbled under the pressure quicker than ponting playing against an international team.

 

The joy for most non-Essendon supporters on Saturday came not from brisbane winning but in the form of giving as must crap to the bandwagon dole bludging Essendon supporters – in my case Richard but I’m sure you all had at least one. Three years with a winning percentage of 75% and only one cup - "underachievers" as their president would later be quoted as saying

 

James Hird showed the country how arrogant and how big a sore losers Essendon are by not even thanking Brisbane for whooping their ass. Whilst Dean “Fat ASS” Rioli cried once again the Fitzroy supporters of old joined forces with the whole of Brisbane to sing their merry song.

 

I caught up with the only true Brisbane supporter I know Paul Colley and asked him how did he feel about Brisbane’s great win “get the wheelbarrow ready I’m coming home loaded”. Richard had this to say “I don’t got for Essendon anymore – Go cats”.

 

See ya next year

Protesters have run riot through Perth today in response to Clinton's mum not letting him put on a grand final show this year.

On the eve of the big game, punters vented their frustration at the ending of what has become a tradition of the likes by throwing bricks through shop windows, setting cars alight and knocking over old women.

In a tragic development, the traditional pissup was called off this year for reasons yet to be explained but as MAry Ryan, mother of CC GF regulars Adrian and Greg told CC.com: "You're all bloody shits." We think this might have something to do with it.

The cancellation has left many without a drinking venue on what has become one of the biggest days of the year for young up and coming pissheads, perhaps with the exception of Sparks' Boxing Day Bash. It is understood that several have been forced to make the trek to  a $1 million mansion in Yallingup, some 300k's south of Perth.

CC's GF do's rose to prominence in the late 20th and early 21st centuries and was responsible for such memorable moments as sole Kangaroo fan Munno leaving at 3/4 time in 1998 to the chants "Munno going for a swim doo dah doo dah", Melis and Blocky stealing PC's six pack prize and getting busted (1999), Age sculling in his undies (2000) and Forro falling out of the tree trying to get the footy during end of game kick-to-kick (2000).

Protesters in the streets were heard screaming "It better just be this year CC or you're not our friend any more."

Clinton could not be contacted for comment.

In a world first for you CC subscribers such delights as personal enlightenment can now be achieved in the privacy of your own home.

 

This now famous method was once passed on through the ages from master to master and guru to guru, taking years of spiritual fulfilment to obtain, but now thanks to the internet methods such as these can be learnt within minutes.

Doing as the picture shows, one must get completely nude in order to access certain areas of the anatomy. Also one must be extremely flexible.

Personally, I have yet to master this difficult position but I feel through hours of practice, both you and I should be able to master this tricky art form and achieve what was once considered by most to be unachievable, ENLIGHTENMENT

Note: This method has only proved successful with males to date and further studies are currently being carried out as we speak on the female species to determine the successfulness of similar methods.

Good karma and peace to all.

Whilst mowing his lawn, Duncraig resident Kevin "fu##$$%%"  Hoy, was startled by a chicken pecking away in his backyard. At the time it was unknown what the chickens motive was, but it is now believed that it was already in a drunken stupor preparing for this weeks grand final festivities. As it is still really pissed a coherent response could not be given, although it was quoted as saying  "Byyuuccckkkkk, byyyuuukkkk, byuuuuukkkkk".

Mr Hoy is still dumbfounded about his new resident, but is extremely stoked that the chicken has decided to start weeding the backyard and rid the garden of unseemly bugs. The chicken has now been named after a previous pet chicken of this writer, Jimpy. Jimpy has now moved into the outside shed and is definately leaning towards a permanent stay, although he will have to earn his keep. Kevin has also said that the public is welcome to come see Jimpy, at the cheap price of two bits a gander.

"I love you Jimpy"

Jimpy has been issued a warning to clean up his act after the weekend though or else he could be in a lot of trouble. As a reminder of the consequences from bad behaviour, the below picture has been placed inside his living quarters.

Two local rockers have been selected to replace Ace Frehley and Gene Simmons of KISS. It is unknown who they are at this time, but it is believed they are firm believers in the rock and roll lifestyle. The new Ace was quoted as saying "I know  life can sometimes get tough, I know that life can sometimes be a drag. But people we have been given a gift, we have been given a role. And that role's name is........Rock n Roll",  while the new Gene had this to say for the ladies "Put your hand in my pocket and grab on to my rocket".

It is believed that Gene and Ace could no longer rock n roll all night and party everyday, but only every other day.

Clinton and Greg at the 2001 Brownlow Count    

 

Two of Perth’s great icons rubbed shoulders with Australians Footballing elite last night. Clinton Cherry and Greg Ryan scored tickets to the biggest AFL show of the year yesterday and promptly flew out to the Crown Casino in Melbourne for the AFL BROWNLOW MEDAL COUNT 2001. Wayne Jackson was on hand to escort them and their partners to the count and later thanked the two for attending. The two are pictured below entering the count with their two partners Miss K. Wintle and Miss J. Henderson who screamed in delight “I can’t believe where at the Brownlow with these cool dudes!”

 

 Clinton and Jennifer / Greg and Kate

 

All in all, the night was a huge success with the Brisbane Clown Jason “Handstands” Ackermanis running away with the prized AFL possession. The night ended with the boys outdrinking many of the saints players and a couple of fist fights with Nathan Buckley and Leigh Colbert who Clinton said “couldn’t fight for S#$#” and a heartfelt “sucked in” to Andrew McLeod and Michael Voss. Rumours have surfaced today about approaches from several clubs to the dynamic duo but both were quoted today saying ”piss off, I’ve got a hangover” and to the whereabouts of Nathan Buckley’s date who was reported to have left with Clinton. Sucked in Nathan!! See ya next year….